MONDO EXTRAS

Blonde: Those Other Years

by Wendola May 22, 2001
Blonde, Part 2

In the Narrative Beyond, Whitey says, on the verge of tears, "Don't let them say anything bad about Marilyn. I'll shove their teeth down their throats. She was the only one of them who was human." Okay, that really got me tearing up.

Marilyn goes out on stage in that famous dress that Elizabeth Hurley dissed, and she tiptoes up to the mic and starts singing the first few bars of "Happy Birthday" to the president. The sound and the picture fade out, and a caption appears: "Marilyn Monroe died at age thirty-six under mysterious circumstances. She was never a mother." Like we were wondering. Still, way sad.

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Blonde: Those Other Years

by Wendola May 22, 2001
Blonde, Part 2 Marilyn staggers off an airplane and gets into a car where Mr. R is waiting. He puts his hand on her knee and says he's glad she's "back on the team." "It was the cats…" says Marilyn. "The cats that I was feeding…they're the ones who wanted Baby dead." Mr. R is like, huh? "They were in the cellar…they were making noises trying to get me to come down the stairs…it's all clear now." Oh, man. She's taking the Crazy Cat Lady thing to a new level. Later, right after her doctor shoots her up with drugs, her maid tells her she has a visitor: "Someone named Eddie G; he looks like he's been drinking." Eddie G comes in and tells her that Cass has just died -- "an alkie death, not a junkie death," he says, and he hands her a box with a present from Cass. She says she doesn’t want it, but she opens it up to find a stuffed tiger toy inside with a note: "From your tearful loving father." She freaks out: "CASS? Cass was the one who wrote those letters from my father?!" She screams at Eddie G about it, and about the baby she aborted, and then she storms out. She winds up at some beachfront carnival, where she accosts some couple and their daughter. "Pretty, pretty little girl…" she drawls, while the girl's parents look on, stunned. "Can I take her on the Ferris wheel?" The parents say yes for some reason, and the two of them get on the ride. The kid's parents actually smile at each other like, "Wow! Isn't she just the nicest barefoot babbling woman-child you've ever met? And what swell cleavage!" On the Ferris wheel, Marilyn squeals and giggles and says to the girl, "Do you know I'm Marilyn Monroe?" and the girl is all surprised or something. Then they get off the ride and Marilyn gives the girl the stuffed tiger which she's been carrying all this time, and then she staggers off and passes out on the beach. Whitey, her make-up artist, is getting Marilyn made up for a performance. "Last night I dreamt I was pregnant with his baby," she said. "You mean the president's?" he says. "It’s just a dream," she says. "I'm never going to be a mother. Because when you're number's up, it's up!" she giggles. She talks about the president. "When we were done, I told him, 'If I were Castro, I’d be real afwaid of you!' Tee-hee!" Whitey warns her to be careful. "All this…could be dangerous." "I know! All those…Social Security men out there!" she laughs. "Don't you mean Secret Service?" laughs Whitey. He carefully puts on her lashes, and she jokes about how much longer it takes to do her make-up now, and maybe Marilyn won't appear tonight. "Oh God," she says. "The studio's going to fire me and I'm almost broke." Whitey assures her that her appearance tonight will be an honor. "Well, here I am!" she says, "the president's wind-up sex toy." She stops to take some pills. Someone knocks on the door: "Miss Monroe! How much longer? We can't keep this audience waiting forever." Marilyn begins worrying that she'll forget the words to "Happy Birthday," but Whitey assures her she won't. "She's almost there," he says, and he applies pencil to make her beauty mark. She asks Whitey if he'll "make up Marilyn one last time" when she's gone. Whitey smiles and says yes.

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