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Casting Star Trek: I’m a Vulcan, Not a Hero!

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Star Trek: Infinite Diversity in Infinite Casting Calls

We've all heard the news that Zachary "Sylar" Quinto has been cast as everyone's favorite green-blood, Mr. Spock, in the J.J. Abrams Star Trek prequel. It's a pretty good idea, you know, given that some of the rumors I heard involved Affleck's Spock playing to Damon's Kirk, which would have positioned Affleck as the mathematical genius and Damon as the brawny, dumb one in a Good Will Trekking sort of thing. Another idea was harnessing the huge amount of Seth Cohen geek that seems to exist in Adam Brody and Trek-filtering it into the big screen with Ben McKenzie as the post-pubescent starship captain. I think that got nixed because as soon as Spock and Kirk realized that infinity pools and bikinis weren't actually the wave of the future, they wouldn't be so keen to explore new life in other galaxies. Especially when the Marisas and Summers they'd be meeting came potentially hairless and with weird breathing tubes stuck in various orifices. Speaking of hairless, Quinto's makeup team needs to lay in a supply of salad tongs and weed whackers if they have any hope of taming those brows of his into any semblance of Spock-like perfection.

With only two people cast, Quinto as Spock and Nimoy also as Spock (yeah, I'm not sure how that's going to work -- is Spock going to suffer through his father's illness and suck us into a psychotic Bendii journey? Hey, it's J.J. Abrams, it could happen), and virtually no other information about the whens, whos, or hows of this movie, we are free to let our imaginations wander warp-five amongst the stars.

(Author's note: Jericho's "The Day Before" denuded me of timeline reasoning for the rest of my natural life, so don't look too closely at the ages.)

James T. Kirk: Jensen Ackles. Why not make both the Trekkies and Supernatties happy in one fell swoop? Plus, all that Kirkian shirt-tearing on a big, big screen. Drool. (Note to Ackles: Take a good, long look at Boston Legal's Shatner. Now, stay away from the cream puffs. And eye tucks. And microdermabrasion.) Believe me, though, if I thought Ben Browder could pull off wet-behind-the-girdle Starfleet Academy grad, I'd be all for his naked chest getting top billing.

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Mondo Extra
Casting Star Trek: I’m a Vulcan, Not a Hero!

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Star Trek: Infinite Diversity in Infinite Casting Calls

We've all heard the news that Zachary "Sylar" Quinto has been cast as everyone's favorite green-blood, Mr. Spock, in the J.J. Abrams Star Trek prequel. It's a pretty good idea, you know, given that some of the rumors I heard involved Affleck's Spock playing to Damon's Kirk, which would have positioned Affleck as the mathematical genius and Damon as the brawny, dumb one in a Good Will Trekking sort of thing. Another idea was harnessing the huge amount of Seth Cohen geek that seems to exist in Adam Brody and Trek-filtering it into the big screen with Ben McKenzie as the post-pubescent starship captain. I think that got nixed because as soon as Spock and Kirk realized that infinity pools and bikinis weren't actually the wave of the future, they wouldn't be so keen to explore new life in other galaxies. Especially when the Marisas and Summers they'd be meeting came potentially hairless and with weird breathing tubes stuck in various orifices. Speaking of hairless, Quinto's makeup team needs to lay in a supply of salad tongs and weed whackers if they have any hope of taming those brows of his into any semblance of Spock-like perfection.

With only two people cast, Quinto as Spock and Nimoy also as Spock (yeah, I'm not sure how that's going to work -- is Spock going to suffer through his father's illness and suck us into a psychotic Bendii journey? Hey, it's J.J. Abrams, it could happen), and virtually no other information about the whens, whos, or hows of this movie, we are free to let our imaginations wander warp-five amongst the stars.

(Author's note: Jericho's "The Day Before" denuded me of timeline reasoning for the rest of my natural life, so don't look too closely at the ages.)

James T. Kirk: Jensen Ackles. Why not make both the Trekkies and Supernatties happy in one fell swoop? Plus, all that Kirkian shirt-tearing on a big, big screen. Drool. (Note to Ackles: Take a good, long look at Boston Legal's Shatner. Now, stay away from the cream puffs. And eye tucks. And microdermabrasion.) Believe me, though, if I thought Ben Browder could pull off wet-behind-the-girdle Starfleet Academy grad, I'd be all for his naked chest getting top billing.

1 2 3Next

Mondo Extra

Comments

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