And that sound you just heard was millions of fanboys across America groaning in dismay as they realize that Alia's famed "naked training" scene won't actually involve any nudity. I've got to admit, I groaned a bit myself. Daniela Amavia is really, really hot, people. And if the interviews and chat transcripts of hers I've read are to be believed, there's a pretty good chance that she's actually reading this recap right now. So, hi, Daniela. You should give me a call. We're way cooler than those freaks at Ain't It Cool News. Anyway, despite the fact that she's fully clothed, Alia begins her training with a quick dance routine, which then segues into a lengthy battle against a half dozen magical flying power-saw blades. There's a lot of slow-motion leaping about and back-flipping, and to be honest, it reminds me more of Flashdance than anything else. And come to think of it, there's a movie that could have been seriously improved by the presence of magical flying power-saw blades. I'm just saying. Alia quickly defeats the blades, mostly by knocking them into nearby columns with a stick, and then looks around at the carnage she's wrought, feeling quite impressed with herself. And now she finally strips off the clothes, although we don't get to see anything but the old clichéd robe-dropping-around-the-ankles shot. They are nice ankles, though. Just then Paul, Stilgar, and Duncan burst in, announcing that a Fremen woman has been found decapitated and with her hands removed in the desert. Paul, after covering his sister with a robe, insists that she go to investigate the crime scene "the way our mother taught us." Um, was her mother Catherine Willows? He also suggests that she bring Duncan along for the ride, a idea which Alia finds quite pleasing.
CSI: Arrakis. Duncan and Alia examine the body in a windswept montage sequence, with Duncan determining that she was killed by a Tleilaxu poison. In other words, they know that a Face-Dancer like Scytale was behind it. And speaking of which, here's "Lichna," coming to meet with Paul. She begs him for an audience, and then tells him of a plot against him amongst the Fremen. She preys upon his old friendship with her father Otheym, and insists that he go to meet with Dad as soon as possible. Paul agrees to do so, but as soon as she leaves, both he and Stilgar reveal that they know it's a trap.
And yet he goes anyway. It must be nice to know the future all the time. Although when you consider what's coming, you still have to wonder why he would do it. As he walks through the city, we see Korba in a back alley, ordering a very young Javid to check on the "stone-burner." It's kind of cute how we keep getting to see all these characters from the next two nights as little kids. I'm totally sensing the potential for a Dune Babies animated series here. You could have a little Stilgar and a little Gurney, and they could get into all sorts of wacky adventures around the sietch each week. I'd watch. Wouldn't you? Paul arrives at Otheym's house, where he's greeted by a mysterious dwarf. Yes, that's right. A mysterious dwarf. And no, it's not a Lynch shout-out. The dwarf is in the book. All you really need to know about Otheym is that he's dying. And he talks a lot. And, most importantly, he's wearing a neck-string. It follows me everywhere, people! Otheym explains that only Bijaz The Mysterious Dwarf knows the names of Fremen plotting against Paul, and begs Paul to take him back to the palace so that he might be saved. Paul agrees, and the two of them quickly head back out into the streets. Once there, a growing rumbling catches their attention, and a furious wind begins to send ripples through a puddle at their feet. "The wind speaks of demons," mumbles Bijaz. "That's not the wind," replies Paul. "I had spice burritos for lunch. Sorry." Just as they realize it's a stone-burner (which, for the newbies, is Dune-speak for a small atomic bomb), a massive flash erupts on the horizon. Paul stares directly into a giant, twisting pillar of flame which reaches to the sky, and then we suddenly cut to commercial. Now that was a nice effect.