The final few moments of Children of Dune wind down with Jessica departing Arrakis once again for Caladan. She says her goodbyes to Gurney and Irulan, both of whom have decided to stay with the twins. As a final "fuck you" to the recapper who has slaved for a week over this damn miniseries, Jessica has elected to return to her flapper-wear for this journey. I guess that's what I get for mocking "The Plan" all those times. Stilgar, meanwhile, still waits outside the city of Arrakeen. Leto worm-speeds across the desert, and hands him a container filled with Alia's water, to be spilled upon the sand under the midday sun. "We're about to go through the crucible," explains Leto, which is as close as we'll ever come to hearing the word "Kralizec." He gives Stilgar the Atreides signet ring as a gift, and then worm-speeds away to vanish into the desert. And even though the sand-trout skin now covers most of his chest, our last glimpse ever of Leto Atreides II still features both of those famous nipples, speeding outward to forever guarantee the future of mankind.
We pan up from Leto to Ghanima and Farad'n, standing high atop that rocky ledge at Sietch Tabr, and discussing the strange ways of the Atreides family. "He runs and runs and runs and runs," says Ghanima, of her brother. "And when he's exhausted himself, he returns to me and puts his head in my lap." Sing it with me kids: Yeah. I'll just bet he does. "But what of our marriage?" wonders Farad'n, proving to be ever so slow on the uptake. "As my mother was not wife," answers Ghanima, "you shall never be husband." Farad'n accepts that fate, and even seems sort of happy about it, although that's probably just because he's confusing "concubine" with "combine," and thinks he's going to be spending most of his time harvesting wheat. "One of us had to accept the agony," sighs Alia, as the camera swoops dramatically around her. "And Leto was always the stronger."
And then, as always, it's Irulan who gets the final word: "History is written on the sands of Arrakis," she narrates, over one last planet shot. "A chapter has ended, swept away by the whirlwind. One door has closed, but another has opened. And on the other side? Our future." You know, it probably doesn't bode well for any further sequels that they've essentially elected to ignore most of the implications of The Golden Path here. And do you know what else doesn't bode well for sequels? The fact that, this time, we're never told that the saga of Dune is far from over. And to be perfectly honest, I'm not really upset about that right now.
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Arrakeen. Gurney wanders the marketplace wearing his Brown Hood of Invisibility. It must have a tear in it or something, however, because Jack is lurking nearby as well, and he follows Gurney back to the small hut where The Preacher is waiting. Gurney still isn't sure that The Preacher is really Paul, but he apologizes for abandoning him to the desert nonetheless. "Paul Atreides is no more, Gurney-Man," murmurs The Preacher, using Paul's favorite diminutive for his former teacher. "The desert winds have erased all trace of his passage here. But soon, Muad'dib must follow."
And as if that wasn't portentous enough, Enya'int suddenly returns to the soundtrack as we dissolve to Alia, observing the approaching band of Fremen warriors. Despite the fact that Arrakeen is supposedly surrounded by a shield wall, and the Fremen are reported to be "more than a day's ride" away, Alia is still able to see them with her tiny little opera glasses. I've so got to get me a set of those. I could totally be watching people in Cleveland right now.
Inside the palace, Ghanima is making the final preparations for her wedding. These include, in the finest Fremen tradition, both a dress fitting and a knife sharpening. Suddenly, she hears Leto's voice, and dismisses all her attendants from the room. Once she's alone, he steps out from behind a screen in all his shirtless, sand-trout-covered glory. Ghanima's face positively glows at the return of her one true love, and they rush across the room all "the hills are alive with the sounds of incest" and fall into a lengthy embrace. And then they kiss! Really! They do! It's a long shot, though, so I can't quite tell if there was any tongue. Let's just assume there was, okay? She instantly recognizes the import of the leathery coating on his skin, and they both giggle as she traces her finger along his chest. I swear to God I'm not making this stuff up, people. They can't even let go of each other's hands, for God's sake! And then they turn to admire themselves in the mirror, which is without any doubt whatsoever the ickiest shot in the entire miniseries. Get a room, you damn freaks! Leto apologizes for what The Golden Path will mean to their relationship, and then they kiss! Again! Really!
Gurney wanders back to his hut in the city, but along the way he spies The Preacher, freaking out and trashing a stall selling pictures of Chani in the marketplace. As the crowds gather and stare, Alia orders her priests to hold off on killing the heretic until it she can know with absolute certainty that he isn't her brother. The Preacher makes his way to the steps of the palace, and prepares to deliver his final sermon. "I am the Voice From The Wilderness," he cries, "and I bring you a warning. The water that we spread upon the desert has become blood. Blood upon the land which was once clean and pure! Blood in the streets of the town of Chicago! The bloody red sun of fantastic L.A.!" As he preaches, pretty much every major character fights through the crowd to reach the front row. There's Gurney, Jack, and even Alia, dressed in her very own Brown Hood Of Invisibility. Jessica, meanwhile, listens from a balcony high above. The Preacher wades out into the crowd, who part like the waters of the Red Sea to let him pass. "Only one blasphemy remains," he shouts. "And that blasphemy is Alia!" With that, he grabs her out of the crowd and rips off the hood, exposing her face to everyone around them. "Forgive me, sister," he whispers, but before she can even respond to this revelation, Jack runs out of the crowd and buries his crysknife in Muad'dib's back. There's much slow-motion shock and panic amongst the onlookers as The Preacher's body slowly collapses to the plaza's floor. Alia is dragged away by her guards, and Gurney chases down Jack to avenge his pupil's death. And then Leto emerges to cradle his father's body in his arms, as The Preacher finally acknowledges his son's paternity with his last dying breath. Leto uses worm-speed to carry the body away, and we fade to commercial over a shot of the empty plaza.
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