MONDO EXTRAS

Children of Dune: Part Three

But if there is a sequel, I'm sure I'll be back to recap it. For Muad'dib instructs us that prescience is immutable, and my own Secher Nibw can never be ignored.

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Children of Dune: Part Three When we return, Ghanima's wedding is just getting underway. Alia presides over the ceremony from her throne, and for some reason Farad'n is escorted down the aisle by the Lady Jessica. Ghanima, however, will be escorted by Leto, who couldn't even be bothered to put on a shirt for his own sister's wedding. He does, however, stride into the throne room to announce, "Behold me, family!" before executing his own "Elaine!"-style homage to The Graduate by roaring like a sandworm from the back row of the wedding. He meanders down the aisle, declaring himself "the lion of Atreides," and informing the assembled guests that The Golden Path has officially begun. Alia is certainly not pleased by this turn of events, and she orders her guards to seize him immediately. What follows is a reasonably well-executed, basic-cable-budgeted rip-off of The Matrix, as Leto uses worm-speed to fight off a half dozen guards. This kid's definitely got a future in action flicks, though, as he seems to handle the wire-work pretty well. When the last of her guards is vanquished, Alia draws her own knife and wades into the fight. She doesn't fare any better than the others, however, and soon ends up convulsing on the floor, as she slips into the final stages of abomination. Even her own voice is gone, and the Baron takes over completely to spew venom at Lady Jessica. "Did you think I was defeated forever?" he asks. "I have her now, daughter! She is mine!" Alia struggles some more, and manages to gain just enough self-control to recognize the import of the knife Leto places on the floor in front of her. She grasps it and leaps to her feet, trying in vain to puncture the sand-trout skin which now coats her nephew's nubile chest. When she realizes that he's invincible, she slowly turns the knife onto herself. Despite the begging of the Baron, and despite the fact that in the book she ends up jumping out of a window at this point, she plunges the knife into her chest and collapses onto the floor. In a truly epic final moment of familial squickiness, her last action in this universe is to taste one of her mother's tears and whisper, "I want my brother." Yeah. We know you do. And we're really, really disgusted by it. Now just die already, for Christ's sake! And so she does. Commercial. The final few moments of Children of Dune wind down with Jessica departing Arrakis once again for Caladan. She says her goodbyes to Gurney and Irulan, both of whom have decided to stay with the twins. As a final "fuck you" to the recapper who has slaved for a week over this damn miniseries, Jessica has elected to return to her flapper-wear for this journey. I guess that's what I get for mocking "The Plan" all those times. Stilgar, meanwhile, still waits outside the city of Arrakeen. Leto worm-speeds across the desert, and hands him a container filled with Alia's water, to be spilled upon the sand under the midday sun. "We're about to go through the crucible," explains Leto, which is as close as we'll ever come to hearing the word "Kralizec." He gives Stilgar the Atreides signet ring as a gift, and then worm-speeds away to vanish into the desert. And even though the sand-trout skin now covers most of his chest, our last glimpse ever of Leto Atreides II still features both of those famous nipples, speeding outward to forever guarantee the future of mankind.

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