And speaking of Alia, a messenger is relaying the news to her that both of her boys are now dead. She cries a bit when she hears this, and declares "kanly" against Stilgar and his tribe. "I want their skins when they're caught," she proclaims. Ew. What is she going to do with them, make a dress? That's just gross. The Baron doesn't think so, however. "Nice touch," he whispers. "Very creative." Hee!
Elsewhere, Gurney rides a worm to visit his smuggler friends, who are flabbergasted to see an outsider accomplish such a feat. I'm not really sure why, given that half the Fremen on Arrakis saw him do it in the last miniseries, but again, whatever. Despite this blatant inconsistency, Continuity does make at least a brief visit to sietch when the smugglers are revealed to be the sons of Esmar Tuek. After the introductions are made, Gurney spies The Preacher in a corner, assembling what looks like a set of rosary beads out of some string and a pile of Froot Loops. Then Leto suddenly emerges, and even though everyone thinks that he's dead, Gurney isn't even the least bit surprised to see him. They recap most of the first miniseries for the newcomers, and then Leto enlists Gurney in his quest to begin The Golden Path. "Remember the words of my father and my grandfather," he says. "They spoke to you of desert power. I AM desert power. And nothing can stop what is going to happen. My nipples shall unite all mankind." Unable to stand against such a powerful vision, Gurney agrees to participate, and then we cut outside, where Leto calls a worm without using a thumper by simply stomping on the sand a few times. Now, see, that's one of those ideas that probably sounded really cool in the script, but in the execution it just looks like he's doing some sort of Samoan rain dance. When the worm finally comes, Leto climbs on board without the benefit of any hooks, and then swings it around to pick up Gurney and The Preacher.
Back at The Keep, Ghanima dons her finest goofy hat and walks out onto the front steps to greet her future husband. First to emerge from the just-landed shuttle, however, is Jessica, and thankfully she's wearing an outfit much more suited to travel than she was the last time this happened. She's followed by Farad'n, and then Sarandonia and Tyeksposition, who is presumably whispering a running commentary from Zagat's Guide To Arrakis into his mistress's ear. Sarandonia presents her son to the assembled Atreides entourage, and he steps forward to nervously speak his first words to his future wife. "We offer the deepest condolences on the death of your brother," he stammers. "Also, you got a real purdy mouth." Okay, not really. Instead, he shockingly admits to his mother's complicity in Leto's "death," and publicly disavows all of her actions. "She is, from this moment forward, banished," he concludes. "My mother is to be stripped of all accounts and privileges of the House Corrino. She is no longer the sovereign regent of this family." And you couldn't have told her this before you trucked her halfway across the known universe? Ahh, Farad'n. You never were the sharpest stalk in the cornfield. "It is my wedding present to you," he tells Ghanima, as he kneels before her. "I have nothing else to offer. Except my tractor, of course. Oh, and a double-wide out in back of the palace." Alia orders the guards to take Sarandonia away, and if I'm remembering the ending correctly, this is the last time we'll ever have to see her. She gets in one last gibe at Jessica before she goes, however, spitting out, "Don't you find it interesting how the sins of the mother bloom in the children they bear?" Well, I guess that certainly explains this then, doesn't it? The camera pulls back to a wide shot of the palace, and I giggle when I notice that the statues flanking the steps look just Michelangelo's David, if he were to one day start walking like an Egyptian.
Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next
Irulan tracks down Ghanima, whom she finds moping in the palace garden and playing a bizarre fraternal game of "he loves me/he loves me not" with a flower she's picked off a nearby tree. "I can still feel him," sighs Ghanima. Yeah. I just bet you can. "His presence," she continues, "His laughter…the soft, sensuous touch of his hand on my naked thigh." Irulan barely bats an eyelash at this, and instead changes the subject to Ghanima's upcoming wedding to Farad'n. "I know you, Ghani," she says. "There is more to your decision than anyone believes. What do you want [out of this wedding]?" Ghanima goes all steely-eyed as she answers, "Farad'n's blood on the wedding sheets, not mine." Yeah, right. Like we're really supposed to believe she's still a virgin at this point. Hell the girl probably has "Nathaniel
" tattooed on her ass by now.
Out at Sietch Tabr, Duncan and Stilgar engage in a purely expositional conversation. This thirty-second scene paraphrases an entire chapter out of the book, so in turn I'll just paraphrase it in two sentences myself: Duncan pisses off Stilgar on purpose. You don't need to know why yet.
Open desert. The Preacher and his helpful seeing-eye Fremen ride a worm across the sands, but they're brought to a sudden halt when Leto steps out in front of the beast. Thankfully, Shai-Hulud comes standard with ABS, because the worm slithers to a halt just a few feet away from him. We get a weird dissolve, and then Leto literally follows in his father's footsteps as they mount a nearby dune to talk. There's lots of psychobabble here about The Golden Path and the nature of time and whatnot, but I suppose that's to be expected seeing as how this scene always had a Jim-Morrison-meets-the-Indian-in-the-desert sort of vibe to it, even in the book. Leto quickly reveals that he knows The Preacher is actually his father, and even gives him the Atreides signet ring, which has been around since the opening scenes of the first miniseries. Then there's a whole Isaac and Esau moment where Paul feels the sand-trout ridges on Leto arm and offers him some Lentil soup. He's aghast at the changes his son has made in himself, but Leto insists it's all for the good of humanity. "I have chosen to make a world where humankind can create its own future from moment to moment," explains Leto. "Free of one man's vision, free from the perversion of the prophet's words, free of the future predetermined. And I have chosen to do this, of course, by turning myself into a giant worm. Don't worry. It makes more sense than you'd think." Then he goes all Dawson
on our asses and talks about how all he ever wanted as a kid was a chance to play Blind Man's Bluff with his daddy. Slash-fic writers all across America perk their ears up when Leto wonders aloud, "How many nights did I lay on the floor dreaming about [my father's] arms around me, instead of that damn Ghanima, who always insists on sleeping with her head on my chest? Her head is heavy, you know!" Come to think of it, I wonder why there isn't more Dune
fan-fic to be found out there. It would seem to be pretty fertile source material. I guess everyone these days is too busy penning the inevitable Farscape
crossover where Crichton, Chiana, Adam Baldwin, and the space hooker get marooned on Orion Prime. The boy tells his father that he's still needed for one final task, and then The Preacher hears his seeing-eye Fremen arming a body-shield in the valley below. Leto uses his fancy new worm-speed to race down and kill the Fremen, and then he tosses the shield high into the air where it explodes. This, of course, makes me wonder again if the writers here have ever read the books, because if they had, they'd know that the danger of a body-shield is the fact that it angers the worms, and not its propensity for exploding into a shower of bad CGI sparks. Commercial.
Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14Next