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Children of Dune: Part Two

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There is no "eye" in "soulmate"
Somewhere in the desert, Jack is meeting with two other men. One of them is recognizable as the young Leo DiCaprio wannabe who's been serving as The Preacher's seeing-eye Fremen. The other is Muriz, although they're not actually considerate enough to tell us this yet. They're worried that Gurney might find out about them from talking with the smugglers, so Jack will take appropriate steps to make sure that he doesn't. NotLeo, meanwhile, will take The Preacher out into the desert, where he can't harm anyone. Muriz, finally, will continue working to foment civil unrest, so that "the water of our enemies may feed [their] revenge." We're supposed to be surprised when they pan over to reveal Javid sitting there, lending some much-needed prettiness to what is an otherwise incredibly drab little set. Also surprising is the fact that The Preacher is sitting right there in the room with them, listening to everything they say. Um, they do know he's blind and not deaf, right? They finish up the meeting with a toast to Jacurutu, and then we go to commercial. Jessica has returned to her garden room once again, and this time it's Ghanima who joins her there. They reminisce about the time Reverend Mother Mohiam tested Paul with her gom jabbar, which Ghanima of course remembers as if it had happened to her as well. Much like her brother did with The Voice, Ghanima displays her own special abilities by correctly intuiting that Jessica has been reciting the Fear Litany under her breath. Grandma then confesses that her greatest fear for the twins is the possibility of abomination, but also admits that she's no longer worried this might happen to Ghanima. Only Leto, who may or may not be strong enough to handle The Golden Path. That sound you just heard, by the way, was the sound of spell-checkers everywhere screaming their moral support for my own, which now has to deal with Jessica calling The Golden Path by it's Chakobsa name "Secher Nibw." "Nibw"? Is that even a sound? Out in the desert, Gurney meets with Muriz, whom he presumably doesn't know is a bad guy. Muriz promises to take him deeper into the southern wastelands, where he might be able to find the smugglers he seeks. And that's all there is to say about that. The palace. Irulan has received word that the Corrino family has sent a gift of fancy robes and clothing for Leto and Ghanima to wear. She's naturally suspicious of her sister, and Duncan is right there to agree with her. And also to be suspicious of her own Corrino background. She demands a thorough examination of the robes, but no one ever stops to ask whether robes are really an appropriate gift in the first place. I mean, what teenager is a going to want a pile of bejeweled brown cloth when there are DVDs and Playstations to be had? Couldn't Sarandonia have booby-trapped one of those? An exploding Grand Theft Thopter disc should have been more than enough to do the trick.

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Mondo Extra
Children of Dune: Part Two

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
There is no "eye" in "soulmate"

Out in the desert, Gurney meets with Muriz, whom he presumably doesn't know is a bad guy. Muriz promises to take him deeper into the southern wastelands, where he might be able to find the smugglers he seeks. And that's all there is to say about that.

The palace. Irulan has received word that the Corrino family has sent a gift of fancy robes and clothing for Leto and Ghanima to wear. She's naturally suspicious of her sister, and Duncan is right there to agree with her. And also to be suspicious of her own Corrino background. She demands a thorough examination of the robes, but no one ever stops to ask whether robes are really an appropriate gift in the first place. I mean, what teenager is a going to want a pile of bejeweled brown cloth when there are DVDs and Playstations to be had? Couldn't Sarandonia have booby-trapped one of those? An exploding Grand Theft Thopter disc should have been more than enough to do the trick.

Meanwhile, on Sofia Secundus, Farad'n is still watching the worm. I'd be a little worried about that boy if I were Sarandonia. Something ain't right there. Tyeksposition comes in to tell her that the robes have arrived on Arrakis, and that operations there proceed according to plan. Then he shows some gun-camera footage of smart bombs striking targets in the desert, and I suddenly realize that I've flipped to the wrong channel. It did take me a while to notice, though.

More Irulan. This time Alia is pissed that she had the temerity to order an examination of the robes, because Alia wants to do whatever possible to heal the breach with the Corrinos. Jessica observes all this from a corner of the room, clad once again in her finest flapper-wear. How can anyone in this universe actually think she looks good with a giant silver lamé turban wrapped around her head? Leto and Ghanima are watching as well, albeit only when they can tear themselves away from gazing lustily into each other's eyes. Alia orders that Irulan can no longer be the twins' guardian, which provokes much dismay from everyone in the room. Then she suffers another vision, hearing the Baron in her head, and even Jessica can no longer mistake the signs of abomination. "Do you see the chaos I must endure?" bitches Alia. "Yes, I see it," replies her mother, with irony dripping from every word. Alia demands they all get out now, but Jessica stays behind just long enough to stare a silent challenge at her daughter.

Then she goes upstairs, to meet privately with Irulan. Once again they use the Bene Gesserit gang signs -- er, "sign language" to communicate while they discuss other meaningless issues. Jessica warns the princess that she's in danger, and agrees that Alia has definitely been possessed by someone very evil. Irulan wants to take the twins to Sietch Tabr where they will be safe, but Jessica knows that Alia "has eyes in every corridor." Then wouldn't she be able to read their sign language? It's not like Alia doesn't know all the Bene Gesserit tricks. Just like last time, I really have to wonder who they think they're fooling. Irulan reminds us that the Fedaykin have no love for Alia, which will be important in a few minutes, and then Jessica excuses herself to depart.

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