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Children of Dune: Part Two

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There is no "eye" in "soulmate"
Sofia Secundus, and this time we are supposed to know. A fully-grown Farad'n sits on a castle balcony, watching last night's kidnapped worm rage and roar in a giant sand-filled cage. Tyeksposition drops by to fill him in on recent events, and the only thing worth recapping here is the fact that Farad'n keeps forgetting his lines. Really. No, really. He has to pause in the middle of three different sentences to remember what comes next. Or maybe he inherited that trait from Mommy. At least the Corrinos know how to keep their clothes on. Back on Arrakis, Alia is escorting the twins to a landing field where they'll be greeting the Lady Jessica. She's also warning them about the potential dangers of their grandmother's return, because all Bene Gesserits fear those that are pre-born, as both Alia and the twins are known to be. Ghanima, however, is too busy putting in her earrings and adjusting her bizarre butterfly-collared fancy-dress halter top to really care all that much. She's also got several appliqué rhinestones embedded beneath each eye, giving her the appearance of a 210th-century Christina Aguilera clone. I guess what a girl wants is really nothing more than the love of her possibly evil grandmother. There's some discussion about the difference between being "pre-born" and being "possessed," and for the neophytes among us, I'll just explain that the pre-born -- who possess inside of themselves all the memories and experiences of their ancestors -- are often possessed by one of those ancestors, becoming an "abomination" that must be destroyed. As if to highlight this, Alia repeatedly experience flashes of bizarre colors and sounds, and her face betrays the confusion this engenders as she lectures the twins. "We're going to lose her," worries Ghanima, once Alia walks away. "We already have," replies Leto. And then they kiss! Okay, just kidding. Out at the airfield, Ghanima and Irulan deliver the backstory on Irulan's history with Jessica. "Your grandmother and I had an unsettled relationship," explains Irulan, "but I am due some respect after all this time." Yeah. You just keep on telling yourself that, Irulan. Maybe one day Alton and Arissa will believe you. Incidentally, I don't actually watch that show, so can anyone tell me if Irulan's mother was a fan of the books, or did she just think it was a cool-sounding name? At long last, Jessica's shuttle finally comes in for a landing, and the hatch opens to reveal what is by far the worst costume of the entire miniseries. She's got, like, a whole Great Gatsby flapper sort of thing going on, complete with a bandanna and fur scarf. It's ridiculous, people. Stilgar is delighted to see her, and he celebrates her arrival with a quote from Duke Sleepo before announcing her to the royal family, who are all dramatically arrayed on a flight of nearby steps. Jessica mounts the stairs, glancing quizzically at Duncan Idaho before extending her arms to welcome Alia with a hug. The look of joy on Alia's face as Mommy holds her in an embrace is impressive, but it soon turns to jealousy as she feels Jessica's attention shift to the twins. "Of course you recognize your grandchildren," she says bitterly, "even after all this time." Jessica tries to chat with Leto and Ghanima, but a priest too pretty to be anyone but Javid interrupts to announce that Jessica must deliver a blessing for the gathering crowd of onlookers. "I see the hypocrisy of ritual still thrives," snarks Jessica, but she does turn and lead a quick chant in Chakobsa, much to the delight of the Fremen below.

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Mondo Extra
Children of Dune: Part Two

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
There is no "eye" in "soulmate"

Back on Arrakis, Alia is escorting the twins to a landing field where they'll be greeting the Lady Jessica. She's also warning them about the potential dangers of their grandmother's return, because all Bene Gesserits fear those that are pre-born, as both Alia and the twins are known to be. Ghanima, however, is too busy putting in her earrings and adjusting her bizarre butterfly-collared fancy-dress halter top to really care all that much. She's also got several appliqué rhinestones embedded beneath each eye, giving her the appearance of a 210th-century Christina Aguilera clone. I guess what a girl wants is really nothing more than the love of her possibly evil grandmother. There's some discussion about the difference between being "pre-born" and being "possessed," and for the neophytes among us, I'll just explain that the pre-born -- who possess inside of themselves all the memories and experiences of their ancestors -- are often possessed by one of those ancestors, becoming an "abomination" that must be destroyed. As if to highlight this, Alia repeatedly experience flashes of bizarre colors and sounds, and her face betrays the confusion this engenders as she lectures the twins. "We're going to lose her," worries Ghanima, once Alia walks away. "We already have," replies Leto. And then they kiss! Okay, just kidding.

Out at the airfield, Ghanima and Irulan deliver the backstory on Irulan's history with Jessica. "Your grandmother and I had an unsettled relationship," explains Irulan, "but I am due some respect after all this time." Yeah. You just keep on telling yourself that, Irulan. Maybe one day Alton and Arissa will believe you. Incidentally, I don't actually watch that show, so can anyone tell me if Irulan's mother was a fan of the books, or did she just think it was a cool-sounding name? At long last, Jessica's shuttle finally comes in for a landing, and the hatch opens to reveal what is by far the worst costume of the entire miniseries. She's got, like, a whole Great Gatsby flapper sort of thing going on, complete with a bandanna and fur scarf. It's ridiculous, people. Stilgar is delighted to see her, and he celebrates her arrival with a quote from Duke Sleepo before announcing her to the royal family, who are all dramatically arrayed on a flight of nearby steps. Jessica mounts the stairs, glancing quizzically at Duncan Idaho before extending her arms to welcome Alia with a hug. The look of joy on Alia's face as Mommy holds her in an embrace is impressive, but it soon turns to jealousy as she feels Jessica's attention shift to the twins. "Of course you recognize your grandchildren," she says bitterly, "even after all this time." Jessica tries to chat with Leto and Ghanima, but a priest too pretty to be anyone but Javid interrupts to announce that Jessica must deliver a blessing for the gathering crowd of onlookers. "I see the hypocrisy of ritual still thrives," snarks Jessica, but she does turn and lead a quick chant in Chakobsa, much to the delight of the Fremen below.

Suddenly, a voice calls out from the crowd, screaming, "Mother! Reverend Mother!" It's The Preacher, come to denounce Muad'dib, as he so often does. And it's a nice bit with the "mother" line, although it may be giving just a little too much away at this point. He lectures the crowd about the evils of jihad, and despite the fact that he's committing blasphemy in front of dozens of priests and soldiers who would ordinarily kill him in an instant for such a transgression, no one even makes a single move in his direction. Heh. He kind of looks like Ron Perlman's Beast from Beauty in the Beast. I wonder how much time Alec Newman had to spend in the make-up chair to get that look? Whoops. Did I just say too much? And if I did, does anyone actually care? Anyway, a guy I'm just going to call Jack (for reasons which will become at least partially evident later) has been making his way through the crowd during all this, heading for the front row. And just as he gets there, a shot suddenly erupts from the crowd, impacting just above Jessica's head as they all stand there staring at The Preacher. In an instant, everyone scatters in panic, with Stilgar ordering the guards to capture the assassin alive. There's lots of running and chasing, and finally the Fedaykin corner the guy (who isn't Jack, by the way) in an alley. In the finest tradition of a Fremen zealot, he screams a tortured "Jacurutu!" in defiant protest before detonating his handy suicide bomb. Fade to white.

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