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David Blaine: Drowned Alive

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Omar G: F | Grade It Now!
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David On David

2:00. "Signal me," Krack says. Blaine is thinking, "Krack needs to leave me the hell alone here. Dingus!" Blaine opens his eyes again, then closes them. This doesn't look like a lot of total body focus. We hear someone snort into a microphone. Is that Stuart? 2:30. "Doing good, David," Krack says. Blaine opens his eyes and stares at us creepily.

3:00. Krack asks for a signal, but he doesn't seem to get one. Dr. Pacino pops in to make sure David the Rat's hands haven't fallen off. 3:30. Stuart tells us that the divers are at the top of the sphere waiting. More overlapping talking.

4:00. Krack tells Blaine, "Start making your way up. Do what you gotta do. No rush. Take your time." Blaine slowly starts to mess with his chains and handcuffs. 4:30. His head is still and we can't see what he's doing with his hands. He starts to blink and frown.

5:00. The crowd approves. Krack tells him to relax and take his time. 5:30. Krack says he's going to give him updates every fifteen seconds now. Stuart reminds us that Blaine can't see anything with his eyes right now. One handcuff is off. 5:45. "Do your work, but relax," Krack says. Blaine is making a pained face.

6:00. David the Rat's right hand is now free of handcuffs. He seems to have trouble with the other set of cuffs. 6:30. He starts to twitch and Krack senses trouble. "Top off?" he asks, "Top off? Masks on." One handcuff comes off, but he's still got another one to go. Stuart reminds us the divers are ready for trouble. The crowd claps some more. Idiots. Blaine's head starts to bob and shake.

7:00. Big bubbles come out of his mouth as he released the last handcuff. More air releases. 7:05. David the Rat touches his nose with his gloved hand. He starts to sputter. "Go! Go!" says Krack. Both divers jump in. Canada grabs his chin and tries to open his airway, but Blaine is still under. Bitch, get me up! The other diver is trying to get Blaine's feet free, but taking his time about it. Krack gets to the top of the bubble and says, "Relax, David, we've got you." Doesn't seem like they do. It takes way too long to get him up there. Not that I care. I don't, really. I'm just saying.

David the Rat's head finally emerges. The crowd cheers. Ha! Failure. His lips are purple. He takes big gasping breaths. His chest spasms as they lay his head against the top of the aquarium. He's got gunk in his nose. He puts his fingers to the bridge of his nose in what looks like abject disappointment. He shakes and looks like he's crying. Everyone cheers. Three cheers for crying Blaine! "You're all right? You all right? Start taking breaths," Krack advises. Someone passes a little oxygen mask up, and they stick it on David the Rat's face. He breathes as the divers hold on to him. The coach tells him to wave to show everyone he's all right. He does. More cheers. "Support and unconditional love in return," Stuart notes. Shut up, Stuart. Krack directs everyone to help get David Blaine up on the platform. They do, and it seems to take forever. More cheers, as people get Blaine's torso out of the aquarium. David the Rat starts to shake with what looks like convulsions, but I think he's just doing it for show. They towel off his head and chest. Krack asks for more towels. People cheer for towels. They cover him up and he looks just like E.T. More "David!" chants. Goddamn, they love me so much. It takes another eternity to get him off the bubble via stretcher. Every time that he's moved even an inch, everyone cheers. David the Rat's blonde brother watches, transfixed. Why isn't he up there? Stuart says that the kid just graduated the same day from NYU.

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Mondo Extra
David Blaine: Drowned Alive

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
David On David

2:00. "Signal me," Krack says. Blaine is thinking, "Krack needs to leave me the hell alone here. Dingus!" Blaine opens his eyes again, then closes them. This doesn't look like a lot of total body focus. We hear someone snort into a microphone. Is that Stuart? 2:30. "Doing good, David," Krack says. Blaine opens his eyes and stares at us creepily.

3:00. Krack asks for a signal, but he doesn't seem to get one. Dr. Pacino pops in to make sure David the Rat's hands haven't fallen off. 3:30. Stuart tells us that the divers are at the top of the sphere waiting. More overlapping talking.

4:00. Krack tells Blaine, "Start making your way up. Do what you gotta do. No rush. Take your time." Blaine slowly starts to mess with his chains and handcuffs. 4:30. His head is still and we can't see what he's doing with his hands. He starts to blink and frown.

5:00. The crowd approves. Krack tells him to relax and take his time. 5:30. Krack says he's going to give him updates every fifteen seconds now. Stuart reminds us that Blaine can't see anything with his eyes right now. One handcuff is off. 5:45. "Do your work, but relax," Krack says. Blaine is making a pained face.

6:00. David the Rat's right hand is now free of handcuffs. He seems to have trouble with the other set of cuffs. 6:30. He starts to twitch and Krack senses trouble. "Top off?" he asks, "Top off? Masks on." One handcuff comes off, but he's still got another one to go. Stuart reminds us the divers are ready for trouble. The crowd claps some more. Idiots. Blaine's head starts to bob and shake.

7:00. Big bubbles come out of his mouth as he released the last handcuff. More air releases. 7:05. David the Rat touches his nose with his gloved hand. He starts to sputter. "Go! Go!" says Krack. Both divers jump in. Canada grabs his chin and tries to open his airway, but Blaine is still under. Bitch, get me up! The other diver is trying to get Blaine's feet free, but taking his time about it. Krack gets to the top of the bubble and says, "Relax, David, we've got you." Doesn't seem like they do. It takes way too long to get him up there. Not that I care. I don't, really. I'm just saying.

David the Rat's head finally emerges. The crowd cheers. Ha! Failure. His lips are purple. He takes big gasping breaths. His chest spasms as they lay his head against the top of the aquarium. He's got gunk in his nose. He puts his fingers to the bridge of his nose in what looks like abject disappointment. He shakes and looks like he's crying. Everyone cheers. Three cheers for crying Blaine! "You're all right? You all right? Start taking breaths," Krack advises. Someone passes a little oxygen mask up, and they stick it on David the Rat's face. He breathes as the divers hold on to him. The coach tells him to wave to show everyone he's all right. He does. More cheers. "Support and unconditional love in return," Stuart notes. Shut up, Stuart. Krack directs everyone to help get David Blaine up on the platform. They do, and it seems to take forever. More cheers, as people get Blaine's torso out of the aquarium. David the Rat starts to shake with what looks like convulsions, but I think he's just doing it for show. They towel off his head and chest. Krack asks for more towels. People cheer for towels. They cover him up and he looks just like E.T. More "David!" chants. Goddamn, they love me so much. It takes another eternity to get him off the bubble via stretcher. Every time that he's moved even an inch, everyone cheers. David the Rat's blonde brother watches, transfixed. Why isn't he up there? Stuart says that the kid just graduated the same day from NYU.

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