MONDO EXTRAS

Marlena's Life Is Hard

by Jessica February 26, 2006
Days Of Our Lives

After the break, Brady explains to Nicole that blah blah career blah blah love blah blah. Nicole says that she just does things differently than Chloe does. She puts her MAN first. This is so the typical soap-opera plot line where we have to hear the same thing ninety-seven times before any action really develops.

Hostage Hut. Caroline and Victor agree that they're worried about their families, as Abe exits the scene, saying that he's going to go take over "guarding Patrick" and "give Hope a break." Aw, no Hope in this episode? I wanted to comment on how skinny skinny skinny she's gotten in the last several years. ["And I would have piped up to say that I think she knows everything there is to know about the crying game." -- Wing Chun] Roman tells Marlena that he's been thinking: the undertaker had to be in on it. They were all at the same funeral home. Marlena and Roman hope that Bo thinks of this.

Bo HAS. In fact, he and John Black head right over to the funeral home, Sami and Lucas in tow. "Has there been another death in the family?" the undertaker asks. "No. We just. Dug up. My wife's grave." John says, haltingly. "Guess what. We found?" Talk normally, my good man. Bo pipes up that the coffin was empty. "This is HIGHLY IRREGULAR," the undertaker says. Well...yes. Lucas notes that they're pretty sure Marlena was buried alive, and the mortician points out that they actually watched him embalm Marlena. John lockjaws that he thinks the mortician has been VERY UNPROFESSIONAL, which...again, yes. Bo announces that they're gonna turn this place upside down, and then John cracks and starts choking the shit out of the mortician, saying that he's going to "drain his blood" if he doesn't find out what happened to Marlena. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY WIFE?" he screams.

Over to Jan's house. Shawn, in his really porny outfit, is dreaming that Belle has come to save him, while Phillip has Jan in a chokehold. That is a nice dream. In the dream, Shawn tells Belle that he'll love her until the day he dies, and they kiss. Dream Phillip notes that he's so glad Shawn and Belle are back together, and he's also really glad Jan's life is ruined. Dream Shawn and Dream Belle continue to make out, as Actual Shawn starts moaning and rolling around in his drugged coma.

Upstairs, Belle asks Jan where she saw Shawn, and Jan spins some stupid story about seeing him at a coffee shop putting air in his tires fifty miles from Salem. Belle presses her for details, and Jan tells Belle that Shawn knew all about Belle's mom's being the Salem Slasher, and left a message on someone's answering machine to that effect. Belle confirms the veracity of this with the stellar acting skills of a young Tonya Harding. Flashback to Jan "editing" this "message" wearing a blue-sequined midriff-baring top. Did I miss the expository dialogue that explains that she works at Ice Capades? Oh, she's a cheerleader. That makes some kind of sense. I guess. Anyway, Belle wants to know MORE about what Shawn said to Jan, and Jan says that she told Shawn that Belle was worried about him, but that Shawn just said, "There's no blankety blank way that I will ever get back together with Belle. It's over between us." At this Phillip looks thoughtful. Belle makes her lip quiver very carefully and with great artifice.

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Marlena's Life Is Hard

by Jessica February 26, 2006
Days Of Our Lives

After the break, Brady explains to Nicole that blah blah career blah blah love blah blah. Nicole says that she just does things differently than Chloe does. She puts her MAN first. This is so the typical soap-opera plot line where we have to hear the same thing ninety-seven times before any action really develops.

Hostage Hut. Caroline and Victor agree that they're worried about their families, as Abe exits the scene, saying that he's going to go take over "guarding Patrick" and "give Hope a break." Aw, no Hope in this episode? I wanted to comment on how skinny skinny skinny she's gotten in the last several years. ["And I would have piped up to say that I think she knows everything there is to know about the crying game." -- Wing Chun] Roman tells Marlena that he's been thinking: the undertaker had to be in on it. They were all at the same funeral home. Marlena and Roman hope that Bo thinks of this.

Bo HAS. In fact, he and John Black head right over to the funeral home, Sami and Lucas in tow. "Has there been another death in the family?" the undertaker asks. "No. We just. Dug up. My wife's grave." John says, haltingly. "Guess what. We found?" Talk normally, my good man. Bo pipes up that the coffin was empty. "This is HIGHLY IRREGULAR," the undertaker says. Well...yes. Lucas notes that they're pretty sure Marlena was buried alive, and the mortician points out that they actually watched him embalm Marlena. John lockjaws that he thinks the mortician has been VERY UNPROFESSIONAL, which...again, yes. Bo announces that they're gonna turn this place upside down, and then John cracks and starts choking the shit out of the mortician, saying that he's going to "drain his blood" if he doesn't find out what happened to Marlena. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY WIFE?" he screams.

Over to Jan's house. Shawn, in his really porny outfit, is dreaming that Belle has come to save him, while Phillip has Jan in a chokehold. That is a nice dream. In the dream, Shawn tells Belle that he'll love her until the day he dies, and they kiss. Dream Phillip notes that he's so glad Shawn and Belle are back together, and he's also really glad Jan's life is ruined. Dream Shawn and Dream Belle continue to make out, as Actual Shawn starts moaning and rolling around in his drugged coma.

Upstairs, Belle asks Jan where she saw Shawn, and Jan spins some stupid story about seeing him at a coffee shop putting air in his tires fifty miles from Salem. Belle presses her for details, and Jan tells Belle that Shawn knew all about Belle's mom's being the Salem Slasher, and left a message on someone's answering machine to that effect. Belle confirms the veracity of this with the stellar acting skills of a young Tonya Harding. Flashback to Jan "editing" this "message" wearing a blue-sequined midriff-baring top. Did I miss the expository dialogue that explains that she works at Ice Capades? Oh, she's a cheerleader. That makes some kind of sense. I guess. Anyway, Belle wants to know MORE about what Shawn said to Jan, and Jan says that she told Shawn that Belle was worried about him, but that Shawn just said, "There's no blankety blank way that I will ever get back together with Belle. It's over between us." At this Phillip looks thoughtful. Belle makes her lip quiver very carefully and with great artifice.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11Next

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