MONDO EXTRAS

This Show's Lucky To Be Alive

by admin August 13, 2009
Dollhouse: Epitaph One

Following along with me, back in 2019 Zone is laughing his ass off about how the place that brought mankind down was nothing more than a high-tech brothel. He's kind of obnoxious, yet I've been hard pressed ever to disagree with him, which would give me pause if I had any time for self-examination at the moment. But I don't, because little Iris is doing a pee-pee dance, so Lynn takes her off to find the bathrooms. When they're gone, Griff decides Dumbshow Dad can handle another memory...

...which is that of Adelle leading Topher into the lab on his first day. He gleefully babbles about getting throw pillows and a refrigerator and whatever, and as long as he's compiling his wish list I'd opine that the state of his hair should put a high-pressure showerhead way up at the top. And speaking of wish lists, I'm presently granted something on mine, as one LAURENCE DOMINIC enters! We quickly learn that he and Topher took a dislike to each other from the get-go, and while I would have guessed that without any help, I'm glad they found a way to get Laurence back so I could be one hundred percent sure. Anyway, Topher is unfazedly insouciant and Laurence is unamused to the nth degree, so Adelle breaks the stalemate by inviting Topher into the imprint room, in which a random male Active lies obediently in the chair as Adelle crows about how Rossum has supplied them with a hundred thousand brain scans, and in a couple years they'll have a million. Laurence then starts to inform Topher that he'll be rather busy, what with ten Actives per day being sent out on average and each imprint taking two hours, to which Topher's basically like, "What are you all, Luddites?" He tells them the brain is sophisticated enough that it can easily be done in five minutes, and that's pretty much all Adelle needs to hear before she orders Laurence to get Topher a refrigerator. Heh.

Back in the future, Iris asks Lynn what a brothel is, and Lynn's like, "When you're older." The first time I saw this, I thought to myself that Iris should point out there's a good chance she's not going to get any older. I was on the right track, anyway. Lynn then trips the overhead hot water in the darkened communal area and practically has an orgasm right there, as she hasn't had a proper shower in months, and she sends Iris off to the toilet while she strips down. She enjoys the water at first, but ominous music is playing, so it's no surprise when she seems suddenly to have heard something. However, when she checks for her gun and Mag-Lite, they're still at her feet, so she gets back to her hydrogasm -- which lasts approximately half a second before the Mag-Lite comes out of nowhere and thwaps her in the face. They should really start carving the names of all the people that have died in that shower on the wall. At least until they run out of room.

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