MONDO EXTRAS

Or perhaps Dune 2000

by Aaron December 5, 2000
Dune Part One: Dune

At long last, William Hurt makes an appearance as Duke Leto. He dies before the end of Part One, and doesn't show until half an hour in, and he still gets top billing? That's how bad the cast is. He orders Duncan Idaho into the desert to find the Fremen leader and convince him the Atreides are good guys. Duncan, by the way, is channeling every actor who was rejected for Braveheart. He's got a nasty Scottish brogue that makes Groundskeeper Willie sound like trained linguist. William Hurt, on the other hand, is working his typical acting style, which is best described as comatose. Thus, I dub him Duke Sleepo.

Paul and Jessica have arrived on Arrakis, and are riding into town on what appears to be a Greyhound bus. Through the windows they watch the six or seven stagehands the producers have pressed into service as extras, and comment on their blue eyes. It's a side-effect of living so close to Spice that makes the whites of their eyes turn blue. It was noted in the forums that the blue is done incorrectly. While I can't speak to the minutiae of the Dune canon, I can say that it's a crappy effect either way. Instead of using blue contacts, they've opted to put the color in with CGI, and whenever the extras move their heads, it takes a second for their "eyes" to catch up.

Paul and Jessica arrive at the palace. There's a slo-mo family reunion with much hugging and smiling. Duke Sleepo gives Jessica some flowers. They kiss. They're laying it on pretty thick that these two are in love. Gee, I wonder if they could be setting us up for something. Duke Sleepo tells them that the family apartments are in the west wing. Unfortunately, the scripts are in the ER. The Pointy Purple Hat Guy makes a live appearance. He washes his hands in a fountain in the lobby, then drops his towel on the floor. An extra scurries by and grabs the towel. Pointy Purple Hat Guy tells us that it's tradition for them to sell the squeezings from the towels. The family is shocked by this. As Sleepo and Paul head off to a family board meeting, Jessica harangues the staff about where to hang a picture. Only she does it in their native tongue, so we know she has superpowers. Lame dialogue, but the subtitle font is very nice. It's neither hip nor squiggly, but I like it. Paul takes a moment to check out the handmaidens as he exits.

The Shadout Mapes arrives to escort Jessica through the palace. She leads her into the Weirding room, which is supposed to be hidden and sealed, but is instead located just off the main hallway through a wide open door. I love how they give us a five-minute lecture on the importance of water discipline, and then leave all the doors and windows open so it can all evaporate away. The room is filled with plants as it is supposed to be; however, the book's crucial note from Lady Fenring is nowhere to be found. Why is it that no adaptation of these books ever includes the Fenrings? They're tertiary characters at best, but they're also my favorites, and they never even get a mention here, much less in the Lynch version. Jessica remarks that a thousand people could survive for a year on the water this room uses up in a month. She declares that she will give the room to the people of Arrakis, and the Atreides will hold it in trust for them. In the palace. Where none of them will ever see it. How is that different from the way things are now? Mapes and Jessica head outside, where she forces the water sellers to stop selling the towel squeezings. Jessica almost, but not quite, looks like Glenne Headly in her Carter-loving ER days. She offers to give a free glass of water to anyone who comes to the door. Get ready for the worst trick-or-treating of your life there, Lady J.

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Or perhaps Dune 2000

by Aaron December 5, 2000
Dune Part One: Dune At long last, William Hurt makes an appearance as Duke Leto. He dies before the end of Part One, and doesn't show until half an hour in, and he still gets top billing? That's how bad the cast is. He orders Duncan Idaho into the desert to find the Fremen leader and convince him the Atreides are good guys. Duncan, by the way, is channeling every actor who was rejected for Braveheart. He's got a nasty Scottish brogue that makes Groundskeeper Willie sound like trained linguist. William Hurt, on the other hand, is working his typical acting style, which is best described as comatose. Thus, I dub him Duke Sleepo. Paul and Jessica have arrived on Arrakis, and are riding into town on what appears to be a Greyhound bus. Through the windows they watch the six or seven stagehands the producers have pressed into service as extras, and comment on their blue eyes. It's a side-effect of living so close to Spice that makes the whites of their eyes turn blue. It was noted in the forums that the blue is done incorrectly. While I can't speak to the minutiae of the Dune canon, I can say that it's a crappy effect either way. Instead of using blue contacts, they've opted to put the color in with CGI, and whenever the extras move their heads, it takes a second for their "eyes" to catch up. Paul and Jessica arrive at the palace. There's a slo-mo family reunion with much hugging and smiling. Duke Sleepo gives Jessica some flowers. They kiss. They're laying it on pretty thick that these two are in love. Gee, I wonder if they could be setting us up for something. Duke Sleepo tells them that the family apartments are in the west wing. Unfortunately, the scripts are in the ER. The Pointy Purple Hat Guy makes a live appearance. He washes his hands in a fountain in the lobby, then drops his towel on the floor. An extra scurries by and grabs the towel. Pointy Purple Hat Guy tells us that it's tradition for them to sell the squeezings from the towels. The family is shocked by this. As Sleepo and Paul head off to a family board meeting, Jessica harangues the staff about where to hang a picture. Only she does it in their native tongue, so we know she has superpowers. Lame dialogue, but the subtitle font is very nice. It's neither hip nor squiggly, but I like it. Paul takes a moment to check out the handmaidens as he exits. The Shadout Mapes arrives to escort Jessica through the palace. She leads her into the Weirding room, which is supposed to be hidden and sealed, but is instead located just off the main hallway through a wide open door. I love how they give us a five-minute lecture on the importance of water discipline, and then leave all the doors and windows open so it can all evaporate away. The room is filled with plants as it is supposed to be; however, the book's crucial note from Lady Fenring is nowhere to be found. Why is it that no adaptation of these books ever includes the Fenrings? They're tertiary characters at best, but they're also my favorites, and they never even get a mention here, much less in the Lynch version. Jessica remarks that a thousand people could survive for a year on the water this room uses up in a month. She declares that she will give the room to the people of Arrakis, and the Atreides will hold it in trust for them. In the palace. Where none of them will ever see it. How is that different from the way things are now? Mapes and Jessica head outside, where she forces the water sellers to stop selling the towel squeezings. Jessica almost, but not quite, looks like Glenne Headly in her Carter-loving ER days. She offers to give a free glass of water to anyone who comes to the door. Get ready for the worst trick-or-treating of your life there, Lady J.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15Next

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