MONDO EXTRAS

Or perhaps Dune 2000

by Aaron December 5, 2000
Dune Part One: Dune

Man, I love me those Sun Microsystems movie trailer-style commercials. On the other hand, what's up with the sudden resurgence in U2 songs on soundtracks? First we get Until the End of the World in the Proof of Life trailer, and now they're using One for The Family Man. Achtung, baby.

We come back to the same shot of the worm rising up. The miners struggle on board Sleepo's thopter. Kynes stands outside and watches for a moment. I guess he's, like mystical, or something. Whatever. He climbs on board, and they take off. As they struggle for altitude, the worm swallows the factory and comes up on the slowly rising thopter. They reach safe altitude just in time, and the worm collapses back to the sand. As Kynes says a little prayer, they watch it slither back into the sand. I'll give credit where credit is due. That whole sequence was great, even though they broke it up with a wholly gratuitous commercial break that could have waited an extra two minutes or so. Definitely better than the painted toilet-paper rolls Lynch used for worms.

Back in the hangar, Sleepo wakes up long enough to demand a search party for the missing carry-all. Kynes tells him not to bother. Annoying Loudspeaker Lady is still going in the background. Didn't we leave her back on Caladan? Guess not. Now we're on the Greyhound bus again. Sleepo explains that they need to develop "desert power." Paul tells him that the "ancients" used to say that danger and opportunity were the same thing. Like, ha ha. Not. Sleepo rolls over, wipes the drool from his chin, and mutters the desert power line again. Outside, the six stagehand/extras are chanting, "Mahdi...Mahdi." Again, if you haven't read the book, that makes no sense. Sucks to be you.

Exterior shot of Geidi Prime. Since I just insulted those who didn't read the book, I'll be nice and explain that it's the Harkonnens' home planet. It's only because I love you. The producers of this mini-series do not, however, since not only do they not explain Geidi Prime, they also make it look an awful lot like Prague, with some red paint splattered around. Perhaps not coincidentally, this movie was filmed entirely in Prague. Which should also tell you something about the realism of the desert scenes. Inside, we see Fey sparring with a few lackeys, while Rabban, Piter, and the Baron watch from above. Rabban wants to attack Leto immediately, but the Baron counsels patience. Piter grins like an idiot. His lips aren't stained, by the way, as we all know they should be. Below them, Fey fights with a slave. They're using big staffs with hooks on the end, sort of like the big Q-Tips they used to use on American Gladiators. It's a pretty good fight. Fey finally tees off on him, and knocks the slave out. Then he snaps his neck. I guess we're supposed to get that he's evil. All I'm getting is nauseous. Dude, either go to the gym or put on a shirt. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss Sting.

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Comments

Or perhaps Dune 2000

by Aaron December 5, 2000
Dune Part One: Dune Man, I love me those Sun Microsystems movie trailer-style commercials. On the other hand, what's up with the sudden resurgence in U2 songs on soundtracks? First we get Until the End of the World in the Proof of Life trailer, and now they're using One for The Family Man. Achtung, baby. We come back to the same shot of the worm rising up. The miners struggle on board Sleepo's thopter. Kynes stands outside and watches for a moment. I guess he's, like mystical, or something. Whatever. He climbs on board, and they take off. As they struggle for altitude, the worm swallows the factory and comes up on the slowly rising thopter. They reach safe altitude just in time, and the worm collapses back to the sand. As Kynes says a little prayer, they watch it slither back into the sand. I'll give credit where credit is due. That whole sequence was great, even though they broke it up with a wholly gratuitous commercial break that could have waited an extra two minutes or so. Definitely better than the painted toilet-paper rolls Lynch used for worms. Back in the hangar, Sleepo wakes up long enough to demand a search party for the missing carry-all. Kynes tells him not to bother. Annoying Loudspeaker Lady is still going in the background. Didn't we leave her back on Caladan? Guess not. Now we're on the Greyhound bus again. Sleepo explains that they need to develop "desert power." Paul tells him that the "ancients" used to say that danger and opportunity were the same thing. Like, ha ha. Not. Sleepo rolls over, wipes the drool from his chin, and mutters the desert power line again. Outside, the six stagehand/extras are chanting, "Mahdi...Mahdi." Again, if you haven't read the book, that makes no sense. Sucks to be you. Exterior shot of Geidi Prime. Since I just insulted those who didn't read the book, I'll be nice and explain that it's the Harkonnens' home planet. It's only because I love you. The producers of this mini-series do not, however, since not only do they not explain Geidi Prime, they also make it look an awful lot like Prague, with some red paint splattered around. Perhaps not coincidentally, this movie was filmed entirely in Prague. Which should also tell you something about the realism of the desert scenes. Inside, we see Fey sparring with a few lackeys, while Rabban, Piter, and the Baron watch from above. Rabban wants to attack Leto immediately, but the Baron counsels patience. Piter grins like an idiot. His lips aren't stained, by the way, as we all know they should be. Below them, Fey fights with a slave. They're using big staffs with hooks on the end, sort of like the big Q-Tips they used to use on American Gladiators. It's a pretty good fight. Fey finally tees off on him, and knocks the slave out. Then he snaps his neck. I guess we're supposed to get that he's evil. All I'm getting is nauseous. Dude, either go to the gym or put on a shirt. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss Sting.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15Next

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