Arrakis. A random Fremen woman is giving birth. Jessica is the midwife. Alia sneaks in and watches from the sidelines. In another shocking example of continuity, her eyes are already blue, as they were changed in utero by the Water of Life. Alia steps up to see the newborn, and spouts a bunch of knowledge that she couldn't possibly have, most of it too complicated and irrelevant to repeat here. Suffice to say, these are not Tales of A Fourth Grade Nothing. She's a smart kid. Cut to later. Alia and Jessica are having a mother-daughter chat. All the other kids think she's a freak. Well, she is. Jessica is hurt by the suggestion that both of her kids are weird. Well, they are. Sorry. But they're weird in a good way, so she should be proud. That's the same excuse my parents make about me.
Out in the sandbox, Paul is meditating. Three worms come to the surface and basically do a little dance for him. It's strange and slightly off-putting, but the worm effect is so much better than Lynch's that I don't care. One of the worms rises up in silhouette in front of a full moon. It swallows Elliot and E.T., who happen to be flying by. Paul sees green grass sprouting across the face of Arrakis. At least it isn't raining. Anyway, the grass kills the worms, and Paul wakes up in his tent. I wish my dream life were that active. I just keep showing up for work naked. At least, I hope that was a dream.
Outside the tent, Chani has just killed a guy. She explains that he had come to challenge Paul, but wasn't worthy. See? This is why she's my new girlfriend. My last one slept with all the guys that weren't worthy. Paul sends for Stilgar. It's time for him to ride a worm. The writers have apparently decided to just completely ignore the fact that he did it last night.
Thumper close-up. And I don't mean the bunny. Paul chants the fear mantra. As the worm passes, we learn that the tools and techniques of worm-riding haven't changed much from the Lynch version, even though the worms have. Paul makes it up the side of the worm, and sets his hooks. The others all climb up to join him. In the book, this makes Paul a man. My Bar Mitzvah is starting to look a lot better in comparison. Stilgar hints that he and Paul must fight for leadership now. Paul is too happy to be riding to notice. He lets out a very Mulder-like girly-scream.
Commercials. I let out a girly-scream of my own.
Okay, I swore no more election jokes, but the Franklin Mint is running ads for a Presidential Coin Series, and they actually say the 2000 coin can't be issued yet. I find that funny for some reason. ["It can now. Which I don't find funny at all." -- Sars] Also, as per tradition, I'll point out that the Penguins are up 2-1 over Ottawa, and I for one am ready for some serious Lemieux Redux Déjà Vu.