MONDO EXTRAS

Previously on Dune: The Harkonnens attacked. Paul smashed the flying sperm. George Fremenstanza exposited the legend of the Mahdi. Paul and Jessica flew into a sandstorm, and with any luck will never be seen again.

Okay, on with the recap. As the credits roll, I notice that William Hurt is the only one credited above the title, and he was dead before the end of Part One. That doesn't seem fair. As is contractually required for all Dune-based films, we open with Princess Irulan's narration. "Arrakis...Dune...Desert planet..." she intones, and for a second...

What? You've heard all this before? Well, get used to it. Part Two is all about the déjà-vu. You should also get used to the rhyming while you're at it. The fact is, somewhere between Part One and Part Two it dawned on me that all of my recaps so far have featured religious fanatics fleeing persecution in the desert. After watching Part Two I seriously considered naming this recap "In the Beginning, Part Four." And since I don't have a show to call my very own here at MBTV, I've decided just to pretend these two go together for continuity purposes. After all, the similarities are uncanny. They're both epic stories about young men coming of age to lead their people. They're both based on books which require a close interpretation of the liturgy. And they both suck. So you see, it all makes sense. If you haven't read the In the Beginning recaps, you won't be any worse off than those who haven't read Dune. Of course, those people are probably so lost that the Blair Witch has already gotten them, so watch out.

Okay, on with the recap. See what I did there? Déjà-vu. Just for you. Pan up across the sandbox...I mean, "the Arrakeen desert," to see the crashed thopter. Jessica lies curled up beside it. Is she dead? Unconscious? Shamed by her presence in this tripe? Nope. She's sleeping. In the desert. At high noon. After a plane crash. She stirs awake, and as I force myself to write a sentence with more than four words, I realize that whatever her hubby Sleepo had, it must be contagious. Everyone step back from your TVs. Oh, please. Like anyone is still watching. Anyway, Paul tells Jessica that he found a note from Yueh in the thopter. That's not important yet. Jessica tells Paul that the death of Sleepo makes him the new Duke. Paul refuses to put on the signet ring. Instead, he says they must seek out the Fremen, and enlist their aid in taking back Arrakis. Which is totally Jessica's idea in the book, so whatever. They take off into the desert.

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Previously on Dune: The Harkonnens attacked. Paul smashed the flying sperm. George Fremenstanza exposited the legend of the Mahdi. Paul and Jessica flew into a sandstorm, and with any luck will never be seen again. Okay, on with the recap. As the credits roll, I notice that William Hurt is the only one credited above the title, and he was dead before the end of Part One. That doesn't seem fair. As is contractually required for all Dune-based films, we open with Princess Irulan's narration. "Arrakis...Dune...Desert planet..." she intones, and for a second... What? You've heard all this before? Well, get used to it. Part Two is all about the déjà-vu. You should also get used to the rhyming while you're at it. The fact is, somewhere between Part One and Part Two it dawned on me that all of my recaps so far have featured religious fanatics fleeing persecution in the desert. After watching Part Two I seriously considered naming this recap "In the Beginning, Part Four." And since I don't have a show to call my very own here at MBTV, I've decided just to pretend these two go together for continuity purposes. After all, the similarities are uncanny. They're both epic stories about young men coming of age to lead their people. They're both based on books which require a close interpretation of the liturgy. And they both suck. So you see, it all makes sense. If you haven't read the In the Beginning recaps, you won't be any worse off than those who haven't read Dune. Of course, those people are probably so lost that the Blair Witch has already gotten them, so watch out. Okay, on with the recap. See what I did there? Déjà-vu. Just for you. Pan up across the sandbox...I mean, "the Arrakeen desert," to see the crashed thopter. Jessica lies curled up beside it. Is she dead? Unconscious? Shamed by her presence in this tripe? Nope. She's sleeping. In the desert. At high noon. After a plane crash. She stirs awake, and as I force myself to write a sentence with more than four words, I realize that whatever her hubby Sleepo had, it must be contagious. Everyone step back from your TVs. Oh, please. Like anyone is still watching. Anyway, Paul tells Jessica that he found a note from Yueh in the thopter. That's not important yet. Jessica tells Paul that the death of Sleepo makes him the new Duke. Paul refuses to put on the signet ring. Instead, he says they must seek out the Fremen, and enlist their aid in taking back Arrakis. Which is totally Jessica's idea in the book, so whatever. They take off into the desert.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next