MONDO EXTRAS

Dune Part Two: Muad’Dib

Many shots of Jessica and Paul walking across the desert. Not a single wide one. Must not be very many sweeping desert vistas in the Czech Republic. Paul wants to go south. Jessica worries that will lead them into the deep desert. Paul says that's where the Fremen are. In Part One, they were all hanging around the palace, so whatever. Again. Suddenly, Jessica drops to her knees and starts puking. What's that I hear? Could it be The Viola of Morning Sickness? I think it is. You know, when the MBTV Jessica said nice things about my last recap in the forums, I promised myself I'd find a way to give her a shout-out this time around. And here it is: it's a pregnant woman, wandering the desert. Just like Scully. And she's even named Jessica. That's just too perfect. Now I just gotta find something for Demian...

Cut to the Thousand Year Subplot, which is now located in the Emperor's new groove-y office. You'd think that a guy who serves as the Ruler of The Known Universe would have a bigger cubicle. With maybe an eagle on the carpet or something. I guess the sandbox was taking up too much space on the soundstage. Anyway, Irulan stomps in and complains that Daddy used her to trick the Atreides. He protests his innocence. She accuses him of actively aiding the Harkonnens, or at least doing nothing to stop them. Count Fenring makes an appearance. My heart leaps with joy. He's wearing a Viking helmet and a purple toga. My heart takes a bad landing and limps back to its cold, black shell. Irulan tells Daddy he'll regret this when she's The Ruler of The Known Universe. Will that be before or after she knocks out a few walls and redecorates?

Back in the desert, Paul and Jessica make camp in a little cave. Paul spots some odd carvings on the wall. I guess they're supposed to be Fremen in origin, but they look suspiciously like handholds a stagehand might use to move the set. Have I mentioned how cheap the sets are on this production? About a hundred times, you say? It's still not enough. It will never be enough. At least they're not recycling old Stargate sets, though.

In the palace on Arrakis (which almost rhymes), the Baron accuses Kynes of aiding the Atreides. Remember in Part One, when I said Kynes should be dead by now? Turns out I lied. It's the Lynch version where they die early, and not the book, where they do, in fact, live long enough to meet up with Paul and Jessica in the desert. Sorry. It's just that with the book, the movie, the mini-series, and the Manischevitz, I'm having a hard time keeping it all straight. Kynes denies everything. It takes me a minute to realize that they're in the palace on Arrakis (which still doesn't quite rhyme), because now that the Harkonnens are in town, everything is red instead of green. This Director of Photography on this movie is Academy Award™ winner Vittorio Storaro, who did The Last Emperor, The Sheltering Sky, and Apocalypse Now. Every now then, his talent shines through the crap, and we get a really nice shot. At times like this, however, I'm forced to remember that he's also responsible for Dick Tracy, Ladyhawke, and Ishtar. Yep, that's right. Ishtar. It's déjà-vu all over again. Anyway, Baron orders Fey to kill Kynes: "Make sure he remembers his denial when he faces Death's sweet smile." Frank Herbert is spinning in his grave. Sweet relief is all that I crave.

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Dune Part Two: Muad’Dib Many shots of Jessica and Paul walking across the desert. Not a single wide one. Must not be very many sweeping desert vistas in the Czech Republic. Paul wants to go south. Jessica worries that will lead them into the deep desert. Paul says that's where the Fremen are. In Part One, they were all hanging around the palace, so whatever. Again. Suddenly, Jessica drops to her knees and starts puking. What's that I hear? Could it be The Viola of Morning Sickness? I think it is. You know, when the MBTV Jessica said nice things about my last recap in the forums, I promised myself I'd find a way to give her a shout-out this time around. And here it is: it's a pregnant woman, wandering the desert. Just like Scully. And she's even named Jessica. That's just too perfect. Now I just gotta find something for Demian... Cut to the Thousand Year Subplot, which is now located in the Emperor's new groove-y office. You'd think that a guy who serves as the Ruler of The Known Universe would have a bigger cubicle. With maybe an eagle on the carpet or something. I guess the sandbox was taking up too much space on the soundstage. Anyway, Irulan stomps in and complains that Daddy used her to trick the Atreides. He protests his innocence. She accuses him of actively aiding the Harkonnens, or at least doing nothing to stop them. Count Fenring makes an appearance. My heart leaps with joy. He's wearing a Viking helmet and a purple toga. My heart takes a bad landing and limps back to its cold, black shell. Irulan tells Daddy he'll regret this when she's The Ruler of The Known Universe. Will that be before or after she knocks out a few walls and redecorates? Back in the desert, Paul and Jessica make camp in a little cave. Paul spots some odd carvings on the wall. I guess they're supposed to be Fremen in origin, but they look suspiciously like handholds a stagehand might use to move the set. Have I mentioned how cheap the sets are on this production? About a hundred times, you say? It's still not enough. It will never be enough. At least they're not recycling old Stargate sets, though. In the palace on Arrakis (which almost rhymes), the Baron accuses Kynes of aiding the Atreides. Remember in Part One, when I said Kynes should be dead by now? Turns out I lied. It's the Lynch version where they die early, and not the book, where they do, in fact, live long enough to meet up with Paul and Jessica in the desert. Sorry. It's just that with the book, the movie, the mini-series, and the Manischevitz, I'm having a hard time keeping it all straight. Kynes denies everything. It takes me a minute to realize that they're in the palace on Arrakis (which still doesn't quite rhyme), because now that the Harkonnens are in town, everything is red instead of green. This Director of Photography on this movie is Academy Award™ winner Vittorio Storaro, who did The Last Emperor, The Sheltering Sky, and Apocalypse Now. Every now then, his talent shines through the crap, and we get a really nice shot. At times like this, however, I'm forced to remember that he's also responsible for Dick Tracy, Ladyhawke, and Ishtar. Yep, that's right. Ishtar. It's déjà-vu all over again. Anyway, Baron orders Fey to kill Kynes: "Make sure he remembers his denial when he faces Death's sweet smile." Frank Herbert is spinning in his grave. Sweet relief is all that I crave.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

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