MONDO EXTRAS

Dune Part Two: Muad’Dib

Dream sequence. Sand face. Blood water (guess it was a shout-out). Instead of Melting Bill Hurt, we get Morphing Bill Hurt, as he emerges out of the sand to sit on a throne. He repeats the "desert power" line. Desert power is the Dune version of the Big-But-Not-Important Stick, especially in the sense that it's not important. Chani makes an appearance. We see Alia, still in the womb. Non-Dune readers are seriously lost here, but just hang in there. It'll all be clear soon enough. I could pretend like I don't know all this stuff, but it would only make the recap twice as long, and God knows it's already gonna be long enough. Plus, my boss keeps wandering by my cubicle and I don't have time to explain everything, what with the constant minimizing and all. For the record, I don't rate an eagle on the carpet either.

We come out of the dream sequence to see Paul, sitting in the desert and staring at a rock. Sitting on the rock is the absolute worst computerized special effect ever. It's a mouse, but it looks like a two-year-old drew it in Mac Paint. Think Stuart Little meets Jar Jar Binks. It hops off the rock and runs away. Paul watches it go. I thank God it's gone.

Jessica comes out. Paul immediately asks her about his sister. Is this another unexplained Buffy-style sibling? Not yet, anyway. He saw that Jessica was pregnant in his dream. She tells him she didn't even have time to tell Sleepo. You snooze, you lose. He asks "What have you done to me?" The words "spoil rotten" leap to mind. He says he can feel the Spice changing him. "I'm a freak!" he yells. You said it, not me. There's more desert wandering. Paul decides to take the direct route across the desert. The lingering close-up and ominous drums on the soundtrack let us know well in advance that something bad is coming. I go make myself another peanut butter and jelly sandwich while I wait for it.

Mmm...Grape Smuckers...And, look, something bad has happened. Paul and Jessica tumble down the side of a non-italicized dune. As they've done so many times before, the writers tease us with one of the cooler scenes from the book, in which Paul and Jessica get trapped under a sand avalanche, and have to MacGyver their way out. In this version, however, all that happens is they lose their compass. Why do I even bother getting excited over these things anymore? Suddenly they hear a worm. They try to run, but smack into the wall of an adjoining soundstage before they even get five feet. WormCam shot of them running in place. Finally they reach the safety of some rocks. Through a gap, we see the worm rise up and howl in anger. That is a damn nice special effect. Paul and Jessica hear a thumper in the distance. Paul notices that the worm smells like Spice. Are the kids sniffing worms these days? I thought they were all getting wacky on that Ecstasy stuff I keep hearing about on Dawson's Creek.

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Dune Part Two: Muad’Dib Dream sequence. Sand face. Blood water (guess it was a shout-out). Instead of Melting Bill Hurt, we get Morphing Bill Hurt, as he emerges out of the sand to sit on a throne. He repeats the "desert power" line. Desert power is the Dune version of the Big-But-Not-Important Stick, especially in the sense that it's not important. Chani makes an appearance. We see Alia, still in the womb. Non-Dune readers are seriously lost here, but just hang in there. It'll all be clear soon enough. I could pretend like I don't know all this stuff, but it would only make the recap twice as long, and God knows it's already gonna be long enough. Plus, my boss keeps wandering by my cubicle and I don't have time to explain everything, what with the constant minimizing and all. For the record, I don't rate an eagle on the carpet either. We come out of the dream sequence to see Paul, sitting in the desert and staring at a rock. Sitting on the rock is the absolute worst computerized special effect ever. It's a mouse, but it looks like a two-year-old drew it in Mac Paint. Think Stuart Little meets Jar Jar Binks. It hops off the rock and runs away. Paul watches it go. I thank God it's gone. Jessica comes out. Paul immediately asks her about his sister. Is this another unexplained Buffy-style sibling? Not yet, anyway. He saw that Jessica was pregnant in his dream. She tells him she didn't even have time to tell Sleepo. You snooze, you lose. He asks "What have you done to me?" The words "spoil rotten" leap to mind. He says he can feel the Spice changing him. "I'm a freak!" he yells. You said it, not me. There's more desert wandering. Paul decides to take the direct route across the desert. The lingering close-up and ominous drums on the soundtrack let us know well in advance that something bad is coming. I go make myself another peanut butter and jelly sandwich while I wait for it. Mmm...Grape Smuckers...And, look, something bad has happened. Paul and Jessica tumble down the side of a non-italicized dune. As they've done so many times before, the writers tease us with one of the cooler scenes from the book, in which Paul and Jessica get trapped under a sand avalanche, and have to MacGyver their way out. In this version, however, all that happens is they lose their compass. Why do I even bother getting excited over these things anymore? Suddenly they hear a worm. They try to run, but smack into the wall of an adjoining soundstage before they even get five feet. WormCam shot of them running in place. Finally they reach the safety of some rocks. Through a gap, we see the worm rise up and howl in anger. That is a damn nice special effect. Paul and Jessica hear a thumper in the distance. Paul notices that the worm smells like Spice. Are the kids sniffing worms these days? I thought they were all getting wacky on that Ecstasy stuff I keep hearing about on Dawson's Creek.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

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See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

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