MONDO EXTRAS

Dune Part Two: Muad’Dib

They arrive at Sietch Tabr, which looks an awful lot like those Pueblo villages that are carved into the sides of cliffs. There's also a huge statue of a man dominating one cliff wall. Now they are reusing the old Stargate sets. Plus, The Extras are back. They're all over the outside of the city, working the Spice, chatting, and just generally hanging out. Not one of them is wearing a stillsuit. I don't mind so much when the off-worlders ignore water discipline, but for the producers to show Fremen like this is pretty insulting to anyone who's read. A bunch of child Extras run around screaming. My upstairs neighbor calls to tell me she came home and found Robert Downey Jr. passed out on her bed. She calls the cops.

As Paul walks past the extras, they all begin chanting "Mahdi...Mahdi..." It's here we're supposed to get that "Mahdi" is just a bastardized pronunciation of Muad'Dib. Because he's the legend and all. They chant for about five minutes to let it sink in. Then again, I'm the moron that didn't get the joke in the main character's name from Snow Crash until the second time I read it, so maybe I should shut up. It's Hiro Protagonist, by the way. Do you get it? Across the way, Stilgar is consoling Chani. Except everyone keeps pronouncing it like she's running for Vice-President. We learn that Kynes was her father, and they found his body in the desert. She looks sad. Her hair looks like Third Watch Eddie's pretty, pretty wig from In the Beginning, which should tell you just how pretty he was.

Bad cut to later. Chani leads Paul through a cavern filled with plants. It's explained how they store water to grow them, but no one ever mentions the fact that there's no sunlight when you're two hundred feet underground. She says, "Tell me of the waters of your homeworld, Muad'Dib." He does. Blah blah rivers bling blah lakescakes. The crashing waves used to put him to sleep at night. The crappy dialogue is putting me to sleep right now. She explains that her father had a dream. A dream that his children will one day live on a planet where they will be judged not by the color of their stillsuits, but by the content of their character. Or maybe it was about changing the face of Arrakis. I'm not really paying attention anymore.

Chani shows Paul a vast underground reservoir. He says he's seen the place before. She tells him that no one has. He saw it in his dreams. We get another quick flashback to Melting Bill Hurt. She talks about her father's dream. Yeah, yeah, his dad is dead. Her dad is dead. We. Get. It. Who wrote this, Joss Whedon? More dreams. Paul reaches out to touch the water, and the air ripples around him. He sees the coming jihad, with legions of Fremen fighting in his name. Commercial. Howie Long and Teri Hatcher must die. Although, I bet they'd both look good in stillsuits.

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Dune Part Two: Muad’Dib They arrive at Sietch Tabr, which looks an awful lot like those Pueblo villages that are carved into the sides of cliffs. There's also a huge statue of a man dominating one cliff wall. Now they are reusing the old Stargate sets. Plus, The Extras are back. They're all over the outside of the city, working the Spice, chatting, and just generally hanging out. Not one of them is wearing a stillsuit. I don't mind so much when the off-worlders ignore water discipline, but for the producers to show Fremen like this is pretty insulting to anyone who's read. A bunch of child Extras run around screaming. My upstairs neighbor calls to tell me she came home and found Robert Downey Jr. passed out on her bed. She calls the cops. As Paul walks past the extras, they all begin chanting "Mahdi...Mahdi..." It's here we're supposed to get that "Mahdi" is just a bastardized pronunciation of Muad'Dib. Because he's the legend and all. They chant for about five minutes to let it sink in. Then again, I'm the moron that didn't get the joke in the main character's name from Snow Crash until the second time I read it, so maybe I should shut up. It's Hiro Protagonist, by the way. Do you get it? Across the way, Stilgar is consoling Chani. Except everyone keeps pronouncing it like she's running for Vice-President. We learn that Kynes was her father, and they found his body in the desert. She looks sad. Her hair looks like Third Watch Eddie's pretty, pretty wig from In the Beginning, which should tell you just how pretty he was. Bad cut to later. Chani leads Paul through a cavern filled with plants. It's explained how they store water to grow them, but no one ever mentions the fact that there's no sunlight when you're two hundred feet underground. She says, "Tell me of the waters of your homeworld, Muad'Dib." He does. Blah blah rivers bling blah lakescakes. The crashing waves used to put him to sleep at night. The crappy dialogue is putting me to sleep right now. She explains that her father had a dream. A dream that his children will one day live on a planet where they will be judged not by the color of their stillsuits, but by the content of their character. Or maybe it was about changing the face of Arrakis. I'm not really paying attention anymore. Chani shows Paul a vast underground reservoir. He says he's seen the place before. She tells him that no one has. He saw it in his dreams. We get another quick flashback to Melting Bill Hurt. She talks about her father's dream. Yeah, yeah, his dad is dead. Her dad is dead. We. Get. It. Who wrote this, Joss Whedon? More dreams. Paul reaches out to touch the water, and the air ripples around him. He sees the coming jihad, with legions of Fremen fighting in his name. Commercial. Howie Long and Teri Hatcher must die. Although, I bet they'd both look good in stillsuits.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

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