MONDO EXTRAS

Dune Part Two: Muad’Dib

Out in the desert, a Harkonnen thopter lands at a Spice patch. Stilgar and some Fremen watch from the cliffs. Suddenly, a band of Fremen soldiers burst from under the sand and attack. You know, when I saw that shot in the trailer, I thought it looked better when John Carpenter did it in Vampire$. Now I realize it also looked better when Patrick Swayze did it in Red Dawn. We get a long battle montage as the Fremen attack various targets. We're still going cheap, so it's never more than three on three. They do the bursting from the sand thing about five more times. Paul watches with Stilgar from the rocks.

Elsewhere, Rabban is being informed of the attacks by a lackey. They've captured a few Fremen refugees for interrogation. One of them, who we'll call Sad Bloody Guy, proclaims their innocence. They're just a bunch of hard-working Fremen trying to make a go of it in this crazy, crazy desert. Rabban kills him. Only he does it with a crys-knife. In the book, these knives are so valuable that an off-worlder has never even seen one, so I'm not sure where Rabban got his. Maybe his mom gave it to him for Hanukkah.

Cut to the baron. At a video of Rabban he is glaring. I can't believe what he's wearing (Diapers and a cape). I may have to start swearing. Okay, that's enough. The rhymes I'll start paring. Fey enters, and the Baron explains that he sent Rabban to oppress the Fremen, so that when Fey arrives he'll be treated as a savior: "You'll even squeeze like the grips of a vise, so our treasuries grow fat on the profits of the Spice." I feel so dirty I think I've got lice. The lights dim and the Baron cackles madly. Remember in Part One, when I said Ian McNeice was pretty good? Turns out I lied. Even Fey is better in this scene. Fey, by the way, is played by Matt Keeslar, from Scream 3. Despite the fact that I've seen that movie twice, I don't remember a thing about him. That tells you something about his screen presence. Or lack of presence, I should say. That's the last rhyme for today. Yay! Or, Hip Hip Hooray. They both work.

Back at the ranch, or ranch-style sietch in this case, the Fremen are chanting Muad'Dib's name. They demand that he challenge Stilgar for leadership. Why? He hasn't done anything yet. Oh, it's another dream. Paul sits up in bed, and looks across the tent at Stilgar. Apparently in this version, Paul and Stilgar are roommates. I wonder if Chani will pretend to be a lesbian so Mr. Roper will let her move in, too. Paul sees many choices ahead, some good, some bad. I see many choices in the TV Guide, all better than this.

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Dune Part Two: Muad’Dib Out in the desert, a Harkonnen thopter lands at a Spice patch. Stilgar and some Fremen watch from the cliffs. Suddenly, a band of Fremen soldiers burst from under the sand and attack. You know, when I saw that shot in the trailer, I thought it looked better when John Carpenter did it in Vampire$. Now I realize it also looked better when Patrick Swayze did it in Red Dawn. We get a long battle montage as the Fremen attack various targets. We're still going cheap, so it's never more than three on three. They do the bursting from the sand thing about five more times. Paul watches with Stilgar from the rocks. Elsewhere, Rabban is being informed of the attacks by a lackey. They've captured a few Fremen refugees for interrogation. One of them, who we'll call Sad Bloody Guy, proclaims their innocence. They're just a bunch of hard-working Fremen trying to make a go of it in this crazy, crazy desert. Rabban kills him. Only he does it with a crys-knife. In the book, these knives are so valuable that an off-worlder has never even seen one, so I'm not sure where Rabban got his. Maybe his mom gave it to him for Hanukkah. Cut to the baron. At a video of Rabban he is glaring. I can't believe what he's wearing (Diapers and a cape). I may have to start swearing. Okay, that's enough. The rhymes I'll start paring. Fey enters, and the Baron explains that he sent Rabban to oppress the Fremen, so that when Fey arrives he'll be treated as a savior: "You'll even squeeze like the grips of a vise, so our treasuries grow fat on the profits of the Spice." I feel so dirty I think I've got lice. The lights dim and the Baron cackles madly. Remember in Part One, when I said Ian McNeice was pretty good? Turns out I lied. Even Fey is better in this scene. Fey, by the way, is played by Matt Keeslar, from Scream 3. Despite the fact that I've seen that movie twice, I don't remember a thing about him. That tells you something about his screen presence. Or lack of presence, I should say. That's the last rhyme for today. Yay! Or, Hip Hip Hooray. They both work. Back at the ranch, or ranch-style sietch in this case, the Fremen are chanting Muad'Dib's name. They demand that he challenge Stilgar for leadership. Why? He hasn't done anything yet. Oh, it's another dream. Paul sits up in bed, and looks across the tent at Stilgar. Apparently in this version, Paul and Stilgar are roommates. I wonder if Chani will pretend to be a lesbian so Mr. Roper will let her move in, too. Paul sees many choices ahead, some good, some bad. I see many choices in the TV Guide, all better than this.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

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