MONDO EXTRAS

First of all, a big thank you to everyone for their incredible fundraising efforts -- your generosity is astounding! I'm very happy to do my part, and ecstatic that my part is now to recap one of my favorite episodes of one of my favorite shows ever. There are three episodes that were perma-saved on the TiVo in our apartment, and picking the one to recap was like Sophie's Choice. But this one had an eyepatch. An EYEPATCH, folks. I couldn't turn down that opportunity.

Oh, the horns of the Dynasty theme song. I really feel like I should be drinking champagne as I write this. Excuse me one second...okay, I'm back, flute in hand. Each character gets his or her own split screen. Blake Carrington is stately and assured. Krystle is walking down the steps in a gown, next to a galloping white horse in a field. (Which, considering that Alexis caused Krystle to miscarry by firing a gun into the air when she was out skeet-shooting in her kicky tam and matching skirt, causing Krystle to be tragically dragged with her foot in one stirrup across what appears to be the same field, seems an odd choice, but that's why we love this show.) My favorite one is Adam Carrington, who is shown next to a cork popping out of a bottle of champagne. Do with that what you will.

The episode opens in Moldavia, where soon everyone will be gathering for a wedding. Alexis is looking very blousy in jodhpurs and a puffed-sleeve shirt. The look is only accentuated with the big hair that ties it all together. Amanda is pouting, possibly because she's weighed down by the sheer size of her shoulder pads. Alexis is alternately pleading and lecturing Amanda that she must go through with her wedding, since the arrangements are made and the family has already arrived. Amanda puts her tiny foot down. "I cahn't and I won't!" (It's just so convenient that when we found out Alexis had been hiding the fact that she gave birth to a daughter twenty years ago or so, she left her to be raised in England so that it wouldn't be unusual for Blake's long-lost daughter to have a British accent.) Alexis sits down on the bed to give Amanda some quality maternal advice, in response to Amanda's believing that Michael, her betrothed, cheated on her: "Michael may or may not have been unfaithful to you. Now, you only have Elena's word for it. And I certainly wouldn't believe a word that she said. But that was before you'll be married! And it's obviously no reason not to marry a man that you love, so what is the problem?" That's really the key here. Before the vows? Amanda is clearly pretty uptight. She proves it by shooting back, "I can't marry a man I don't trust. I don't want that sort of marriage. Can't you understand that, Mummy?" She can't, because the Carrington-Colby-Dexter-Rowan marriages were so successful. Regardless, Amanda tells Alexis, "If I want out, I'm getting out." Alexis tries a "supportive mother" approach, but it is unfamiliar territory. She insists that she'd never push Amanda into a bad marriage and tries to convince her of how happy they'll be, but eventually falls into a routine she knows better and starts yelling: "...Don't throw it all away just for one [lilting voice, little shoulder shrug] indiscretion." Really, it's just ONE time.

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First of all, a big thank you to everyone for their incredible fundraising efforts -- your generosity is astounding! I'm very happy to do my part, and ecstatic that my part is now to recap one of my favorite episodes of one of my favorite shows ever. There are three episodes that were perma-saved on the TiVo in our apartment, and picking the one to recap was like Sophie's Choice. But this one had an eyepatch. An EYEPATCH, folks. I couldn't turn down that opportunity.

Oh, the horns of the Dynasty theme song. I really feel like I should be drinking champagne as I write this. Excuse me one second...okay, I'm back, flute in hand. Each character gets his or her own split screen. Blake Carrington is stately and assured. Krystle is walking down the steps in a gown, next to a galloping white horse in a field. (Which, considering that Alexis caused Krystle to miscarry by firing a gun into the air when she was out skeet-shooting in her kicky tam and matching skirt, causing Krystle to be tragically dragged with her foot in one stirrup across what appears to be the same field, seems an odd choice, but that's why we love this show.) My favorite one is Adam Carrington, who is shown next to a cork popping out of a bottle of champagne. Do with that what you will.

The episode opens in Moldavia, where soon everyone will be gathering for a wedding. Alexis is looking very blousy in jodhpurs and a puffed-sleeve shirt. The look is only accentuated with the big hair that ties it all together. Amanda is pouting, possibly because she's weighed down by the sheer size of her shoulder pads. Alexis is alternately pleading and lecturing Amanda that she must go through with her wedding, since the arrangements are made and the family has already arrived. Amanda puts her tiny foot down. "I cahn't and I won't!" (It's just so convenient that when we found out Alexis had been hiding the fact that she gave birth to a daughter twenty years ago or so, she left her to be raised in England so that it wouldn't be unusual for Blake's long-lost daughter to have a British accent.) Alexis sits down on the bed to give Amanda some quality maternal advice, in response to Amanda's believing that Michael, her betrothed, cheated on her: "Michael may or may not have been unfaithful to you. Now, you only have Elena's word for it. And I certainly wouldn't believe a word that she said. But that was before you'll be married! And it's obviously no reason not to marry a man that you love, so what is the problem?" That's really the key here. Before the vows? Amanda is clearly pretty uptight. She proves it by shooting back, "I can't marry a man I don't trust. I don't want that sort of marriage. Can't you understand that, Mummy?" She can't, because the Carrington-Colby-Dexter-Rowan marriages were so successful. Regardless, Amanda tells Alexis, "If I want out, I'm getting out." Alexis tries a "supportive mother" approach, but it is unfamiliar territory. She insists that she'd never push Amanda into a bad marriage and tries to convince her of how happy they'll be, but eventually falls into a routine she knows better and starts yelling: "...Don't throw it all away just for one [lilting voice, little shoulder shrug] indiscretion." Really, it's just ONE time.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next