MONDO EXTRAS

Dynasty: “Royal Wedding”

Oh jeez, Ashley and Jeff. They bore me. Basically, he flirts and charmingly tries to get her to say yes to his proposal, and in her floaty way, she lets him know that after Amanda's wedding, they're over. Boooooring. She points out that he still loves Fallon, which he tries to deny because she's dead, of course. I'm just moving on so that I don't fall asleep on top of my computer.

In Los Angeles, a woman who everyone is supposed to realize is Fallon walks up to a counter. The problem is that she has dark hair and is British -- in other words, she is in no way similar at all to Original Fallon. However, we'll do as the show intends and get lost in the amazement to learn that Fallon didn't die when she mysteriously disappeared. She walks up to the counter and by asking the officer if she's been there before, we learn that she has the soap-opera staple of amnesia. She's been there before, and they still have no idea who she might be. Her hair is amazing, a kind of big and feathery short 'do, but longer in back. It's mulletesque, but longer and poofier than your everyday mullet. A stylized mullet, if you will. The counter guy asks her how she's living, and she talks of pawning jewelry she saw in her purse. She proudly tells him she even made up a name -- Randall Adams. (Wouldn't she have made up the name already if she's repeatedly been visiting the station to figure out who she is?) She tells him she's thinking of going somewhere with mountains, and will head to the airport and go "wherever the spirit moves [her]."

Back in New York, Sammy Jo is wearing my hair circa fifth grade, pulled half up and poofed with a big pink collared sweater, as she makes up Rita. (And, not, as it turns out, at the wedding in Moldavia, as the made-for-TV movie alleged that she was. Fact-checkers, was it that hard?) Rita is simply a dumb, amused hick, wondering when Sammy Jo is going to let her in on her plans. Sammy Jo just has Rita put on a dirty blonde wig. She sits down and takes off her striped espadrilles, detailing how she went wig-shopping and finally found just the right one. Rita throws her head up with the blonde hair and exclaims, "Hey, I like her! I mean me. Whoever." Rita! Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! She should have fashioned a big neon sign to the wig that says, "I'm an idiot pushover." She turns around and grins, and by gum, she looks just like Krystle! Sammy Jo smiles and says, "Now it's time someone taught her a lesson."

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Comments

Dynasty: “Royal Wedding”

Oh jeez, Ashley and Jeff. They bore me. Basically, he flirts and charmingly tries to get her to say yes to his proposal, and in her floaty way, she lets him know that after Amanda's wedding, they're over. Boooooring. She points out that he still loves Fallon, which he tries to deny because she's dead, of course. I'm just moving on so that I don't fall asleep on top of my computer.

In Los Angeles, a woman who everyone is supposed to realize is Fallon walks up to a counter. The problem is that she has dark hair and is British -- in other words, she is in no way similar at all to Original Fallon. However, we'll do as the show intends and get lost in the amazement to learn that Fallon didn't die when she mysteriously disappeared. She walks up to the counter and by asking the officer if she's been there before, we learn that she has the soap-opera staple of amnesia. She's been there before, and they still have no idea who she might be. Her hair is amazing, a kind of big and feathery short 'do, but longer in back. It's mulletesque, but longer and poofier than your everyday mullet. A stylized mullet, if you will. The counter guy asks her how she's living, and she talks of pawning jewelry she saw in her purse. She proudly tells him she even made up a name -- Randall Adams. (Wouldn't she have made up the name already if she's repeatedly been visiting the station to figure out who she is?) She tells him she's thinking of going somewhere with mountains, and will head to the airport and go "wherever the spirit moves [her]."

Back in New York, Sammy Jo is wearing my hair circa fifth grade, pulled half up and poofed with a big pink collared sweater, as she makes up Rita. (And, not, as it turns out, at the wedding in Moldavia, as the made-for-TV movie alleged that she was. Fact-checkers, was it that hard?) Rita is simply a dumb, amused hick, wondering when Sammy Jo is going to let her in on her plans. Sammy Jo just has Rita put on a dirty blonde wig. She sits down and takes off her striped espadrilles, detailing how she went wig-shopping and finally found just the right one. Rita throws her head up with the blonde hair and exclaims, "Hey, I like her! I mean me. Whoever." Rita! Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! She should have fashioned a big neon sign to the wig that says, "I'm an idiot pushover." She turns around and grins, and by gum, she looks just like Krystle! Sammy Jo smiles and says, "Now it's time someone taught her a lesson."

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

Comments

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