MONDO EXTRAS

Dynasty: “Royal Wedding”

Cut to a red-jacketed guard, and I've paused the TiVo just right to notice that his hat is askew. Claudia rushes down the stairs past him and some workers who are potting plants. Is Blake overseeing the gardening? Oh no, it's just Yuri. The wavy gray locks had me confused. Claudia's in a chic peach skirt suit, accompanied by the Violin of Rushing. She catches up to Adam, who is coming from tennis in a white polo, white sweater tied around his shoulders, and some white shorts that are really showing me more about Adam than I ever wanted to know. He hangs right, if you're really curious. She yells his name in that strange way she has, so that it comes out "Ahddem!" He ignores her, saying that he's had "enough of this," and just walks along slowly in his aviator sunglasses, while Yuri looks on from a distance in a kind of pervy manner. Adam finally asks what she means, and Claudia says that he's been avoiding her. He doesn't want to upset Blake, and she finally snaps, "I don't want to be your embarrassing secret!" Don't worry, Claudia; when you accidentally burn down La Mirage because you left your Carrington Hate Candles unattended and kill yourself and a few others, you definitely won't be a secret anymore. Oh, but that's a story for a different season. Adam pulls off his aviators to say, "I love you; I don't want to lose you," with about as much emotion as one of the statues on the estate. He's especially convincing in that he won't even stop walking or turn his body toward Claudia at all as he says this. She just says, "Well, then, start acting like it. Otherwise I'll be gone. And I mean it this time, because there are no more Carrington sons to try and marry after you." Okay, I just wish she said that last part. She turns and runs off. Adam picks up his pace only marginally to half-heartedly go after her.

Steven and Luke have moved on from volleyball and are taking part in the more modestly dressed sport of soccer. It's nice to see that the Carringtons have come so far that now Blake is letting Steven's gay lover come to a family wedding along with Steven's ex-wife, as opposed to getting into an argument and accidentally killing him. Luke is standing a ways away, hands on hips, and Steven artfully kicks the ball right into the fountain. Steven, soccer is generally better if you're kicking the ball to another person. But heading to the fountain to fish it out conveniently gives him a chance to see through the trees to Adam and Claudia in each other's arms. He gazes at them wistfully, and Luke joins him to watch. Luke asks, "Steven, if you don't even try to put her out of your mind, what chance are we going to have to make a go of it?" Sorry, Luke, but not much -- since you're a bit player and this is an episode meant to shock the American public and revive the show with unexpected deaths. Steven: "Luke, my feelings about Claudia are very complicated." He throws the ball away and continues, trying to sound louder and more assertive: "My feelings about myself are very complicated." He doesn't know if he'll ever get over it, which causes Luke to cross his arms and brood. However, luck is on Luke's side for the moment. Steven assures him that he still loves him, and when Luke doesn't quite believe it, Steven announces that when they get home, he and his baby son Danny will be moving in with Luke: "The world may disapprove, but I don't give a damn about the world. Just about us." Luke gapes like a fish out of water, shakes his head, and smiles. They have a hug accentuated by some still-manly backslapping. (I have to hand it to this show, though, which had a gay character before it was at all in vogue -- even if they made him waffle between men and women like they weren't quite sure they could commit to him being 100% gay.)

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Dynasty: “Royal Wedding”

Cut to a red-jacketed guard, and I've paused the TiVo just right to notice that his hat is askew. Claudia rushes down the stairs past him and some workers who are potting plants. Is Blake overseeing the gardening? Oh no, it's just Yuri. The wavy gray locks had me confused. Claudia's in a chic peach skirt suit, accompanied by the Violin of Rushing. She catches up to Adam, who is coming from tennis in a white polo, white sweater tied around his shoulders, and some white shorts that are really showing me more about Adam than I ever wanted to know. He hangs right, if you're really curious. She yells his name in that strange way she has, so that it comes out "Ahddem!" He ignores her, saying that he's had "enough of this," and just walks along slowly in his aviator sunglasses, while Yuri looks on from a distance in a kind of pervy manner. Adam finally asks what she means, and Claudia says that he's been avoiding her. He doesn't want to upset Blake, and she finally snaps, "I don't want to be your embarrassing secret!" Don't worry, Claudia; when you accidentally burn down La Mirage because you left your Carrington Hate Candles unattended and kill yourself and a few others, you definitely won't be a secret anymore. Oh, but that's a story for a different season. Adam pulls off his aviators to say, "I love you; I don't want to lose you," with about as much emotion as one of the statues on the estate. He's especially convincing in that he won't even stop walking or turn his body toward Claudia at all as he says this. She just says, "Well, then, start acting like it. Otherwise I'll be gone. And I mean it this time, because there are no more Carrington sons to try and marry after you." Okay, I just wish she said that last part. She turns and runs off. Adam picks up his pace only marginally to half-heartedly go after her.

Steven and Luke have moved on from volleyball and are taking part in the more modestly dressed sport of soccer. It's nice to see that the Carringtons have come so far that now Blake is letting Steven's gay lover come to a family wedding along with Steven's ex-wife, as opposed to getting into an argument and accidentally killing him. Luke is standing a ways away, hands on hips, and Steven artfully kicks the ball right into the fountain. Steven, soccer is generally better if you're kicking the ball to another person. But heading to the fountain to fish it out conveniently gives him a chance to see through the trees to Adam and Claudia in each other's arms. He gazes at them wistfully, and Luke joins him to watch. Luke asks, "Steven, if you don't even try to put her out of your mind, what chance are we going to have to make a go of it?" Sorry, Luke, but not much -- since you're a bit player and this is an episode meant to shock the American public and revive the show with unexpected deaths. Steven: "Luke, my feelings about Claudia are very complicated." He throws the ball away and continues, trying to sound louder and more assertive: "My feelings about myself are very complicated." He doesn't know if he'll ever get over it, which causes Luke to cross his arms and brood. However, luck is on Luke's side for the moment. Steven assures him that he still loves him, and when Luke doesn't quite believe it, Steven announces that when they get home, he and his baby son Danny will be moving in with Luke: "The world may disapprove, but I don't give a damn about the world. Just about us." Luke gapes like a fish out of water, shakes his head, and smiles. They have a hug accentuated by some still-manly backslapping. (I have to hand it to this show, though, which had a gay character before it was at all in vogue -- even if they made him waffle between men and women like they weren't quite sure they could commit to him being 100% gay.)

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See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

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