MONDO EXTRAS

Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

by Jessica January 12, 2005
Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

Oh, fellow Dynasty fans. This was a disappointment, wasn't? It really only made me want to watch an episode of Dynasty. On the other hand, there are ever so many nits to pick in this movie, which makes my job as a recapper much easier. A bit of background: I got into Dynasty when they started showing it on SoapNet last year. I think I've seen almost every episode up until they recast Amanda, at which point I was out. Not because I loved Amanda, or anything, but because it was at that point that I finally reached my limit of tolerance for Emma Samms. But I definitely might be a bit off on some of my memory of what happened on the show, so I'll be turning at times to my Personal Dynasty Expert and Fellow Snarky Recapper, Heathen. ["I like to think my informal degree is an M.D.: Master of Dynasty. It's a noble pursuit." -- Heathen] It's like two recappers for the price of one! Okay, let's do this.

We open with the title card: "The following includes time compression and composite and fictionalized characters and incidents." In order to be accurate, it really should have read, "The following leaves out everything you enjoyed about Dynasty and includes everything you don't. Also, we made a lot of factual errors that might irritate anyone who ever actually watched the show."

We immediately cut to some fan event, where a ton of extras in really tragic '80s wear -- the shoulder pads! The pleated jeans! The sweatshirt-material pencil skirts! -- wet their pants over a whole bunch of Dynasty-related merchandise. Pants are further wet when "John Forsythe"(who, I swear to God, I thought was being played by SNL's Chris Parnell in a bad wig for about twenty minutes, and let me assure you, Chris Parnell would have been a brilliant improvement ), "Linda Evans" (whose winged bangs are not nearly winged enough for me), and "Joan Collins" all arrive, along with "Esther and Richard Shapiro," Dynasty's creators and producers, about whom I do not particularly care, because, let's face it, no one is really interested in the private lives of writers and producers unless said writers and producers are totally batshit crazy, and I say that as someone who has been both a writer and a producer. I don't care. I don't even care when I am the writer and/or producer in question. This point is actually made rather neatly for me -- and by a movie ostensibly about said writers and producers -- when one of the Idiotic Screaming Fan Girls (the movie's characterization, not mine -- I mean, we're talking about people who've named their babies "Krystle") asks Richard Shapiro who he is, and he tells her he's the writer, and she responds, "Oh, no one important," and his face falls. Poor Richard.

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Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

by Jessica January 12, 2005
Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

Oh, fellow Dynasty fans. This was a disappointment, wasn't? It really only made me want to watch an episode of Dynasty. On the other hand, there are ever so many nits to pick in this movie, which makes my job as a recapper much easier. A bit of background: I got into Dynasty when they started showing it on SoapNet last year. I think I've seen almost every episode up until they recast Amanda, at which point I was out. Not because I loved Amanda, or anything, but because it was at that point that I finally reached my limit of tolerance for Emma Samms. But I definitely might be a bit off on some of my memory of what happened on the show, so I'll be turning at times to my Personal Dynasty Expert and Fellow Snarky Recapper, Heathen. ["I like to think my informal degree is an M.D.: Master of Dynasty. It's a noble pursuit." -- Heathen] It's like two recappers for the price of one! Okay, let's do this.

We open with the title card: "The following includes time compression and composite and fictionalized characters and incidents." In order to be accurate, it really should have read, "The following leaves out everything you enjoyed about Dynasty and includes everything you don't. Also, we made a lot of factual errors that might irritate anyone who ever actually watched the show."

We immediately cut to some fan event, where a ton of extras in really tragic '80s wear -- the shoulder pads! The pleated jeans! The sweatshirt-material pencil skirts! -- wet their pants over a whole bunch of Dynasty-related merchandise. Pants are further wet when "John Forsythe"(who, I swear to God, I thought was being played by SNL's Chris Parnell in a bad wig for about twenty minutes, and let me assure you, Chris Parnell would have been a brilliant improvement ), "Linda Evans" (whose winged bangs are not nearly winged enough for me), and "Joan Collins" all arrive, along with "Esther and Richard Shapiro," Dynasty's creators and producers, about whom I do not particularly care, because, let's face it, no one is really interested in the private lives of writers and producers unless said writers and producers are totally batshit crazy, and I say that as someone who has been both a writer and a producer. I don't care. I don't even care when I am the writer and/or producer in question. This point is actually made rather neatly for me -- and by a movie ostensibly about said writers and producers -- when one of the Idiotic Screaming Fan Girls (the movie's characterization, not mine -- I mean, we're talking about people who've named their babies "Krystle") asks Richard Shapiro who he is, and he tells her he's the writer, and she responds, "Oh, no one important," and his face falls. Poor Richard.

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