MONDO EXTRAS

Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

by Jessica January 12, 2005
Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

Next, we learn that homosexuals sometimes gather in bars dressed up like their favorite Dynasty characters and watch the show together, doing such gay things as giving it "snaps," and drinking Sea Breezes.

Linda, Joan, and John are at some photo shoot. Linda is thrilled that they've been voted the "three sexiest people in TV," despite the fact that their combined ages add up to over 150. Joan snarks that most of the 150 is thanks to John. "Don't kid yourself, Joan," John replies. "There are places even makeup can't hide." What does that even mean? Why doesn't he like her? I mean, we never saw her do anything to him other than hit on him...which, come on, who wouldn't be thrilled to have Joan Collins hit on him? Joan retorts that maybe he ought to pick himself up a copy of Playboy. "And let me know where they are." She then sweeps out of frame. Linda stares after her and trills that she thinks it is really awesome and brave of Joan to pose naked in a magazine! Crabby John finds it "disgraceful."

Next, we learn that Dynasty? Apparently really pretty popular. I had no idea. And Alexis? Apparently was a very important part of the show. I didn't know that either. ["They aren't showing nearly enough of her crazy costumes. Remember the slinky purple pantsuit she wore to Dex's to close their business deal with a champagne toast? She makes like she's going to sleep with him and then storms out, purring, 'Nobody takes me to the cleaners and to bed in the same day.' Brilliant. And, brilliant pantsuit." -- Heathen]

We learn more about the popularity of Dynasty thanks to a helpful montage: at Spelling House, Candy is thrilled to see Alexis win some award that I don't recognize; at...some bookstore...Linda signs copies of her book; the Lou Q. Publics have Dynasty dinner parties. The rating climb! The network is happy! The Shapiros are happy! Everyone is so very happy.

At home, Joan gets off the phone and announces to a crowd of men that she was just invited to the White House. Everyone claps. A man in a white Speedo gets out of the pool and drips on her. "You're getting me all wet," she coos. He apologizes. "I didn't say I minded," she tells him, and he takes a seat and lights her extra-long Virginia Slims cigarette. Um. Ew? Yes, definitively: ew.

We know that the show is doing really well because John buys a Porsche, and Esther gets a new Jaguar and loads up on non-pleated pants. She also gets tons of mail, and starts going into makeup to get her hair and face done with Joan and Linda. I don't even know. I'm just writing what I see.

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Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

by Jessica January 12, 2005
Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

Next, we learn that homosexuals sometimes gather in bars dressed up like their favorite Dynasty characters and watch the show together, doing such gay things as giving it "snaps," and drinking Sea Breezes.

Linda, Joan, and John are at some photo shoot. Linda is thrilled that they've been voted the "three sexiest people in TV," despite the fact that their combined ages add up to over 150. Joan snarks that most of the 150 is thanks to John. "Don't kid yourself, Joan," John replies. "There are places even makeup can't hide." What does that even mean? Why doesn't he like her? I mean, we never saw her do anything to him other than hit on him...which, come on, who wouldn't be thrilled to have Joan Collins hit on him? Joan retorts that maybe he ought to pick himself up a copy of Playboy. "And let me know where they are." She then sweeps out of frame. Linda stares after her and trills that she thinks it is really awesome and brave of Joan to pose naked in a magazine! Crabby John finds it "disgraceful."

Next, we learn that Dynasty? Apparently really pretty popular. I had no idea. And Alexis? Apparently was a very important part of the show. I didn't know that either. ["They aren't showing nearly enough of her crazy costumes. Remember the slinky purple pantsuit she wore to Dex's to close their business deal with a champagne toast? She makes like she's going to sleep with him and then storms out, purring, 'Nobody takes me to the cleaners and to bed in the same day.' Brilliant. And, brilliant pantsuit." -- Heathen]

We learn more about the popularity of Dynasty thanks to a helpful montage: at Spelling House, Candy is thrilled to see Alexis win some award that I don't recognize; at...some bookstore...Linda signs copies of her book; the Lou Q. Publics have Dynasty dinner parties. The rating climb! The network is happy! The Shapiros are happy! Everyone is so very happy.

At home, Joan gets off the phone and announces to a crowd of men that she was just invited to the White House. Everyone claps. A man in a white Speedo gets out of the pool and drips on her. "You're getting me all wet," she coos. He apologizes. "I didn't say I minded," she tells him, and he takes a seat and lights her extra-long Virginia Slims cigarette. Um. Ew? Yes, definitively: ew.

We know that the show is doing really well because John buys a Porsche, and Esther gets a new Jaguar and loads up on non-pleated pants. She also gets tons of mail, and starts going into makeup to get her hair and face done with Joan and Linda. I don't even know. I'm just writing what I see.

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