MONDO EXTRAS

Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

by Jessica January 12, 2005
Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

The answer they come up with is Rock Hudson. Everyone coos and pants over him, especially Esther, even though he looks like hell. Do they know he has AIDS here? I guess not, or there would be more scandal right now, yes? I hate to admit that I am little confused by the Dynasty movie, but I thought that the producers knew about Rock Hudson's illness when they cast him. Maybe they knew about it when the episode AIRED, and that's why I remember all the scandal about him kissing Linda Evans? I don't know.

Anyway, cut to Rock Hudson leaning down to kiss Krystle. They cut to fix the light on him, and spackle on some more makeup. On the sidelines, Michael Nader tells Joan that Rock was his childhood idol, and she calls Rock "the sexiest man alive." "What about me?" Dex asks. "Oh, please," Joan dismisses him. Over on the set, Rock asks Linda how he looks -- for reals. She tells him that he looks "heroic," which to me indicates that she knows how sick he is...but later comments in this movie indicate that she didn't, so...yes, I am confused. Anyway, they kiss. ["She looks awfully comfortable for someone who just fell off a galloping horse and rolled to a stop, at which point a concerned Daniel 'Rock Hudson' Reece leaned over and surprised her with the gift of his 'so relieved you're not dead' tongue." -- Heathen]

Over at ABC, Vince is peeved that they came in second in the Nielson ratings: "What the hell do we have to do to beat Dallas? And could you please tell me what is so appealing about Larry Hagman?" he wonders. Well, Larry Hagman is a charismatic son of a bitch, for one thing. But I'm not sure what the hell you have to do to beat them. It is at this moment that Vince gets a visit from an ABC bigwig and SNORE because I don't care. Big Wig says some blah blah blah about affiliates and stock and yada and blah and I guess they're prime for a hostile takeover. The bottom line: "If we don't own the top 5, we can all start looking for new jobs."

Network meeting. Flunky Joe explains that Dynasty fans are confused about how Dominique Devereux can be Blake's half-sister and black at the same time. Richard explains that Blake's father had an affair with the housekeeper. Esther claims that this is an example of "taking on socially relevant issues." Yes, they've clearly got to make a statement about how it's not a great idea to fuck the help. Anyway, Flunky Joe doesn't really care about this as much as he cares about how crazy high their budget is. Esther spins some crap about their piles of caviar "bring[ing] authenticity" to the show. Joe points out that she really shouldn't be talking about authenticity when this is a show featuring grown women mud-wrestling. ["Joe? Go outside. It's a big world out there, and sometimes, the woman are adults, wearing bikinis, and smearing each other with slop." -- Heathen] "And that is real for the world of our show," Esther smarms. Joe just rolls his eyes, as Vince sweeps in, all worked up from that boring scene about hostile takeovers that I didn't pay attention to. Joe exposits that Dynasty costs a million dollars an episode and is the most expensive show in history. Vince -- scared for his job and with Dynasty the only real show on his docket -- drones that the Shapiros are creative people, and that their job as network executives is not to interfere, but to create an environment where artists feel safe and comfortable to create their art. Richard and Esther look understandably surprised by this. "Having said that, we'd like another Dynasty," Vince says. They want a juicy spinoff, damn the cost! "Go make another hit," he says. Richard rolls his eyes. "Is that all?" he asks. "No. For God's sake, do something to beat Dallas," Vince tells him.

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Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

by Jessica January 12, 2005
Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

The answer they come up with is Rock Hudson. Everyone coos and pants over him, especially Esther, even though he looks like hell. Do they know he has AIDS here? I guess not, or there would be more scandal right now, yes? I hate to admit that I am little confused by the Dynasty movie, but I thought that the producers knew about Rock Hudson's illness when they cast him. Maybe they knew about it when the episode AIRED, and that's why I remember all the scandal about him kissing Linda Evans? I don't know.

Anyway, cut to Rock Hudson leaning down to kiss Krystle. They cut to fix the light on him, and spackle on some more makeup. On the sidelines, Michael Nader tells Joan that Rock was his childhood idol, and she calls Rock "the sexiest man alive." "What about me?" Dex asks. "Oh, please," Joan dismisses him. Over on the set, Rock asks Linda how he looks -- for reals. She tells him that he looks "heroic," which to me indicates that she knows how sick he is...but later comments in this movie indicate that she didn't, so...yes, I am confused. Anyway, they kiss. ["She looks awfully comfortable for someone who just fell off a galloping horse and rolled to a stop, at which point a concerned Daniel 'Rock Hudson' Reece leaned over and surprised her with the gift of his 'so relieved you're not dead' tongue." -- Heathen]

Over at ABC, Vince is peeved that they came in second in the Nielson ratings: "What the hell do we have to do to beat Dallas? And could you please tell me what is so appealing about Larry Hagman?" he wonders. Well, Larry Hagman is a charismatic son of a bitch, for one thing. But I'm not sure what the hell you have to do to beat them. It is at this moment that Vince gets a visit from an ABC bigwig and SNORE because I don't care. Big Wig says some blah blah blah about affiliates and stock and yada and blah and I guess they're prime for a hostile takeover. The bottom line: "If we don't own the top 5, we can all start looking for new jobs."

Network meeting. Flunky Joe explains that Dynasty fans are confused about how Dominique Devereux can be Blake's half-sister and black at the same time. Richard explains that Blake's father had an affair with the housekeeper. Esther claims that this is an example of "taking on socially relevant issues." Yes, they've clearly got to make a statement about how it's not a great idea to fuck the help. Anyway, Flunky Joe doesn't really care about this as much as he cares about how crazy high their budget is. Esther spins some crap about their piles of caviar "bring[ing] authenticity" to the show. Joe points out that she really shouldn't be talking about authenticity when this is a show featuring grown women mud-wrestling. ["Joe? Go outside. It's a big world out there, and sometimes, the woman are adults, wearing bikinis, and smearing each other with slop." -- Heathen] "And that is real for the world of our show," Esther smarms. Joe just rolls his eyes, as Vince sweeps in, all worked up from that boring scene about hostile takeovers that I didn't pay attention to. Joe exposits that Dynasty costs a million dollars an episode and is the most expensive show in history. Vince -- scared for his job and with Dynasty the only real show on his docket -- drones that the Shapiros are creative people, and that their job as network executives is not to interfere, but to create an environment where artists feel safe and comfortable to create their art. Richard and Esther look understandably surprised by this. "Having said that, we'd like another Dynasty," Vince says. They want a juicy spinoff, damn the cost! "Go make another hit," he says. Richard rolls his eyes. "Is that all?" he asks. "No. For God's sake, do something to beat Dallas," Vince tells him.

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