MONDO EXTRAS

Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

by Jessica January 12, 2005
Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

Back in her office, Esther pleads for Dynasty's life. "The audience is coming back!" she says to someone, presumably Fletcher, on the phone. "Wait until you hear what we have for a cliffhanger!"

Across the lot, John storms out of his dressing room and toward her office. He flings the door open. "Esther? We need to talk," he spits. He's quite unhappy with the idea that they want him to remarry Alexis! Esther rolls her eyes and explains that Blake has AMNESIA and he thinks it's 1965: "This way, he can live happily with Alexis and still not be unfaithful to Krystle." John huffs that, in case she hasn't noticed, "this ship is sinking!" He doesn't know where they lost their way -- maybe it was Moldavia! Or the clothing line! Or The Colbys! --but they've lost total respect for their audience. Dude, amnesia is totally a time-honored soap tradition. John snarfs that he knows the show isn't Shakespeare, "but this is complete insanity!" He's willing to be a professional, he adds, but he'd like to "go down with dignity." Wow, a really dirty joke just popped into my head. And John Forsythe is there! Oh, God! Think of George Clooney, think of George Clooney. Phew. Okay, I'm okay. Anyway, Esther insists this ship is not going down, because she is delusional.

Meanwhile, The Swedish Chef is picketing the lot because Joan tossed him out. Why doesn't that happen anymore? Can you imagine if Kevin Federline started picketing Britney? That would RULE. Anyway, Joan comes driving out in her Bentley or whatever and tells the assembled reporters that she thinks it's time for her to start "looking for a wife."

Linda is skipping off set when she comes across a PA reading a story about her in a tabloid. The story is called "The Loneliest Woman in Hollywood." That's not nearly as bad as half the stuff I read in The Star, including an article which was entirely about how Ben Affleck needs to get lipo on his big, fat chin. Linda demands, nicely, to read said article. The PA tells her that it's really silly and dumb, but gives it to her and races off. Linda reads it and looks sad. Poor Linda. Despite how clearly sweet and positive she is, maybe she IS the loneliest woman in Hollywood. She's sniffling when Joan walks by, and tells her goodbye. She notices the tears. "Are you all right?" Joan asks. Linda sniffs that she's "great," but Joan doesn't buy it. "What rubbish," she says, taking the magazine from Linda and tossing it aside. She sits down and tells Linda that the tabloids publish anything they like: she's read that she apparently hates Linda, and is having an affair with John. "That I didn't mind, because I knew it would really piss him off," she smiles. Linda manages to grin. Joan invites Linda back to her dressing room for a cocktail.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27Next

Comments

Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

by Jessica January 12, 2005
Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

Back in her office, Esther pleads for Dynasty's life. "The audience is coming back!" she says to someone, presumably Fletcher, on the phone. "Wait until you hear what we have for a cliffhanger!"

Across the lot, John storms out of his dressing room and toward her office. He flings the door open. "Esther? We need to talk," he spits. He's quite unhappy with the idea that they want him to remarry Alexis! Esther rolls her eyes and explains that Blake has AMNESIA and he thinks it's 1965: "This way, he can live happily with Alexis and still not be unfaithful to Krystle." John huffs that, in case she hasn't noticed, "this ship is sinking!" He doesn't know where they lost their way -- maybe it was Moldavia! Or the clothing line! Or The Colbys! --but they've lost total respect for their audience. Dude, amnesia is totally a time-honored soap tradition. John snarfs that he knows the show isn't Shakespeare, "but this is complete insanity!" He's willing to be a professional, he adds, but he'd like to "go down with dignity." Wow, a really dirty joke just popped into my head. And John Forsythe is there! Oh, God! Think of George Clooney, think of George Clooney. Phew. Okay, I'm okay. Anyway, Esther insists this ship is not going down, because she is delusional.

Meanwhile, The Swedish Chef is picketing the lot because Joan tossed him out. Why doesn't that happen anymore? Can you imagine if Kevin Federline started picketing Britney? That would RULE. Anyway, Joan comes driving out in her Bentley or whatever and tells the assembled reporters that she thinks it's time for her to start "looking for a wife."

Linda is skipping off set when she comes across a PA reading a story about her in a tabloid. The story is called "The Loneliest Woman in Hollywood." That's not nearly as bad as half the stuff I read in The Star, including an article which was entirely about how Ben Affleck needs to get lipo on his big, fat chin. Linda demands, nicely, to read said article. The PA tells her that it's really silly and dumb, but gives it to her and races off. Linda reads it and looks sad. Poor Linda. Despite how clearly sweet and positive she is, maybe she IS the loneliest woman in Hollywood. She's sniffling when Joan walks by, and tells her goodbye. She notices the tears. "Are you all right?" Joan asks. Linda sniffs that she's "great," but Joan doesn't buy it. "What rubbish," she says, taking the magazine from Linda and tossing it aside. She sits down and tells Linda that the tabloids publish anything they like: she's read that she apparently hates Linda, and is having an affair with John. "That I didn't mind, because I knew it would really piss him off," she smiles. Linda manages to grin. Joan invites Linda back to her dressing room for a cocktail.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27Next

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP