MONDO EXTRAS

Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

by Jessica January 12, 2005
Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

In said dressing room, Joan pours champers. "I was seventeen. He was a huge star. He drugged me and had his way with me on our first date," she says. Linda asks what she did about this. "Darling, I married him," Joan laughs. "Wonderful way to find out about love." I presume this is supposed to be referring to her first husband, Maxwell Reed, who, according to the IMDb, also tried to sell her to an "Arab sheik" for ten thousand pounds, seven months after their wedding, which is theoretically horrifying, but actually quite fantastic since she clearly bounced back just fine. Linda reminds Joan that she was married to John Derek for years, and that he was an amazing lover. He would go for six hours! After they broke up, she found out what other men were like. She categorizes this as going from "six hours of sex to six minutes." Poor Linda. On both accounts. With the six-hour man, at some point you're like, "Dude, I have to get some sleep." With the other, of course, there's a whole lot of "wha?" going on. Anyway, at least Joan has her children, Linda says, and Joan agrees that the kids make everything worthwhile. "I never thought I'd be forty-five years old and not have a family," Linda says. This actress, by the way? Does not look forty-five. "No children. I may not be the loneliest woman in Hollywood, but sometimes I don't feel very far off," she continues. She adds that, right before she had her meltdown, she decided that she doesn't care what people think about her anymore: "It's time I stopped caring about other people and started caring about me!" And Joan approves. "That's why I've decided to leave the show," Linda tells her. Joan is stunned. "It won't work. It'll fall apart without you," she says. Linda nods and says that it might, and says she's sorry about that, but that she has to do this. For herself. Joan thinks for a moment. "I can understand that," she says. "Good luck, darling!" And they raise a glass to "the two sexiest women on TV." Aw. See, THAT'S the kind of scene I wanted to see when I turned this thing on.

Anyway. Season 9. Blake is shot! Alexis and Dex fall over a balcony! No one is watching anymore, not even the gays.

At ABC, Fletcher shows Marshall Herskovitz and Ed Zwick out of his office and tells Joe that thirtysomething is exactly the sort of show they're looking for now. And you know what? I LOVE Dynasty, but I loved thirtysomething, too. They're really apples and oranges. At any rate, as George Bush The Elder is being sworn in -- and how convenient for the purposes of this project that every major episode in Dynasty history dovetailed with a major American political event -- Dynasty is cancelled.

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Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

by Jessica January 12, 2005
Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

In said dressing room, Joan pours champers. "I was seventeen. He was a huge star. He drugged me and had his way with me on our first date," she says. Linda asks what she did about this. "Darling, I married him," Joan laughs. "Wonderful way to find out about love." I presume this is supposed to be referring to her first husband, Maxwell Reed, who, according to the IMDb, also tried to sell her to an "Arab sheik" for ten thousand pounds, seven months after their wedding, which is theoretically horrifying, but actually quite fantastic since she clearly bounced back just fine. Linda reminds Joan that she was married to John Derek for years, and that he was an amazing lover. He would go for six hours! After they broke up, she found out what other men were like. She categorizes this as going from "six hours of sex to six minutes." Poor Linda. On both accounts. With the six-hour man, at some point you're like, "Dude, I have to get some sleep." With the other, of course, there's a whole lot of "wha?" going on. Anyway, at least Joan has her children, Linda says, and Joan agrees that the kids make everything worthwhile. "I never thought I'd be forty-five years old and not have a family," Linda says. This actress, by the way? Does not look forty-five. "No children. I may not be the loneliest woman in Hollywood, but sometimes I don't feel very far off," she continues. She adds that, right before she had her meltdown, she decided that she doesn't care what people think about her anymore: "It's time I stopped caring about other people and started caring about me!" And Joan approves. "That's why I've decided to leave the show," Linda tells her. Joan is stunned. "It won't work. It'll fall apart without you," she says. Linda nods and says that it might, and says she's sorry about that, but that she has to do this. For herself. Joan thinks for a moment. "I can understand that," she says. "Good luck, darling!" And they raise a glass to "the two sexiest women on TV." Aw. See, THAT'S the kind of scene I wanted to see when I turned this thing on.

Anyway. Season 9. Blake is shot! Alexis and Dex fall over a balcony! No one is watching anymore, not even the gays.

At ABC, Fletcher shows Marshall Herskovitz and Ed Zwick out of his office and tells Joe that thirtysomething is exactly the sort of show they're looking for now. And you know what? I LOVE Dynasty, but I loved thirtysomething, too. They're really apples and oranges. At any rate, as George Bush The Elder is being sworn in -- and how convenient for the purposes of this project that every major episode in Dynasty history dovetailed with a major American political event -- Dynasty is cancelled.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27Next

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