MONDO EXTRAS

Elektra

They run down a hallway as Kirigi smiles back downstairs. "You're a pain in the ass," says Elektra. "Just like you," counters Abby. Heh. They jump out a window and land, unscathed, down in the garden. "Tattoo," says Kirigi, "the Treasure's here." Like, what part of "you and me" does Kirigi not understand? He's such a cheater. Down in the garden, Tattoo lets forth a series of hisses and a bunch of snakes come leaping out of his body. They fly off after the girls, who are running pell-mell down a pathway. They head into the maze as the snakes follow. They continue to run until the snakes cut Abby off from Elektra and Elektra just keeps running, unaware that Abby's not behind her. Elektra finally realizes it and heads back to Abby, who's now surrounded by slithering snakes. See, snakes? No big deal. But that effin' spider? A PROBLEM.

The snakes manage to get Abby on the ground, even as she slices away at them with the necklace. They finally swallow her up as Elektra comes upon the place Abby once was. She gets a flash-forward and sees Tattoo, controlling the snakes from afar. She races through the maze and finally comes upon Tattoo, surrounded by the snakes, zoned completely out. "Nice trick," she says, sauntering toward him, "but I've seen it before." She easily walks right through the snakes and quickly dispatches Tattoo by breaking his neck. He does the greenish-yellow smoke thing and the snakes everywhere, including all over Abby, disappear. She gets up as Elektra tries to make her way to her. Abby sees a shadow around the corner. "Elektra?" "Not exactly," says Typhoid, stalking toward her.

Abby tries using the necklace on her, but Typhoid quickly grabs it and starts…rusting it? I don't know. Typhoid flicks her wrist and the necklace disintegrates. "You know," she says, her eyes filling with blackness, "I used to be the Treasure, and I don't like being replaced. So let's keep your death between you and me." Typhoid blows a kiss her way and Abby goes down like a stone. Meanwhile, Elektra's still running after her. She comes upon the center of the maze as Kirigi says from off-screen, "Enough. It ends now." How nice of you to declare that, Captain Chickenshit. Kirigi draws his swords and heads toward her. Elektra dives through the well at the center of the maze and draws her Sais.

Finally. Some decent ass-kicking.

Well, almost. The fight choreography is okay, but the cinematography pitches; kind of…all over the place. Slash, sword, Sai. Dance around the well. Flinging hair. Seriously. Cut that shit already. Cut, run, jump. Kirigi dumbly tosses one of his swords at Elektra and it flies off into the maze somewhere. Swoop, flash, Kirigi using some Zen-master flying techniques, Elektra flipping into the air, Kirigi getting his other sword again, et cetera. Kick, punch, fling, flash, ding, dang, clang, Elektra goes down, then throws her Sai, it misses, Kirigi goes after her in earnest. Then suddenly, the action stops, and Kirigi says, "I told you, there's nothing you can do." Elektra, for some reason, looks totally calm here. Then Kirigi launches a fresh attack and kicks her and Elektra gets thrown directly into the well, hitting a column with her back. Ouch. She drops.

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Elektra

Aaaaaand then we're back in the past and Elektra's running to her mother and seeing the demon and then it's an awesome ninja and…then it's Kirigi. No. Really? NO, REALLY? Because I didn't figure that one out about midway through. And I'm drunker than a hoot-owl right now. Whatever. The realization that Kirigi killed her mother only fuels Elektra's rage, which, of course, is the point, because when she gets pissed, she makes mistakes and she's gonna have to calm down here at some point so that she can learn the "The Force Is With You" lesson that Stick's been trying to teach her since about FORTY FUCKING MINUTES AGO.

Elektra goes after Kirigi but the sheets and her flowing mess of hair keep getting in the way. Kirigi just calmly swans around, watching Elektra freak the hell out. Sheets, spinning, lunging, ooof, ouch, more sheets, hair, spinning, lunging, STILL NO REAL ASS-KICKING. Finally, Elektra keeps spinning around until Kirigi just throws himself at her and puts his sword to her neck, saying that there's nothing she can do, so the balance tips to him. "Let her go," shouts Abby from off-screen. Oh, heh. Elektra's ass is getting saved by a TEENAGER. Niiiiiice.

Kirigi turns. "Brave girl. You taught her well." Abby starts whipping around the Magic Gold Necklace of Death as Kirigi moves toward her. Elektra moves to attack him from behind and he turns and some funky shit happens with the air and this sort of force field comes out from around him, flinging Elektra across the room in slo-mo. I have this one on pause, by the way, and it's totally not Garner -- not that you'd expect it to be, considering the fact that she's being slammed down onto a marble floor from mid-air. The sheets fall down around them and one of the sheets covers Elektra, just like it covered her mother, and YEAH, we get it, history is repeating itself, thanks. Kirigi says, "It's time for a new master," as Abby gets up and gets that "I'm a-gonna kick yer ASS" look on her face.

She starts swinging the Magic Gold Necklace of Death again and goes after Kirigi. She attacks him and he easily evades the attack, teasing her with, "Is that what the blind man's been teaching you?" Attack. Evade. Tease. Elektra's slowly waking up. Attack. Evade. Tease. Elektra's coming to. Attack. Ooh! She gets him. Nice! He looks at her in appreciation and suddenly, Elektra springs to life and throws the sheet off of her. She runs toward them, but instead of attacking Kirigi, she runs up the stairs next to him and holds out her hand. Abby gets it and flings the necklace up to Elektra, who grabs it and hauls Abby up behind her as she runs up the stairs.

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