MONDO EXTRAS

Elektra

Did you get all that, though? There's a child who can tip the balance between good and evil and a woman warrior who's the final weapon in an ancient war. A child. A woman warrior. Good. Evil. The Hand. Terence Stamp, drunk off his ass and calling his agent all, "Bernie? GET ME OFF THIS MOVIE. Or, at least, get me more bourbon."

We begin the movie (for real this time) with an exterior shot of a snowbound mansion. There are several guards scattered about the property, and they appear to be top-level security guys. Inside a large well-appointed room with a fireplace, Jason Isaacs is telling the security guy who's manning some monitors that it won't do any good because he won't be able to stop her. Who "her" is we don't know, but since the movie's called Elektra and not Bob the Wonder Assassin, we can probably guess who "her" is. As Jason tries to explain to Expository Receptacle Security Dude just who "her" is, we get a shot of a guard flinging over the roof outside and as Jason says, "Her name…is Elektra," a black-clad figure comes up to the edge of the roof and we see some flashes of red silk. That's her all right.

Expository Receptacle Security Dude is all, chuckle chuckle, that woman died years ago, sir; she's an urban legend. "Really?" says Jason. "Well, then, somebody must have brought her back from the dead." No, ya think? Jason rambles something about how, when you've done the things he's done, you need lots of security; the best money can buy. Unfortunately, Elektra showed up and killed 14 of his old guards in half an hour and Jason barely got away. She came for him in Monte Carlo, where he was being protected by the Hand itself. She cut 'em down like wheat in about 15 minutes. Jason got away again, but he didn't know why. Now he does. Now he understands her. "She wanted me to feel this," he says. "What it's like to have nowhere to go, nowhere to turn." Elektra and her black-and-red silk getup are getting closer.

Expository Receptacle Security Dude hears some beeping and looks at his monitors and sees that every single one of his guards has disappeared from the screens. "How's your perimeter now?" snarks Jason, sounding far too pleased for a soon-to-be dead man. One by one, all the monitors go out, and suddenly there's the sound of machine-gun fire from outside the room. Jason says that the better the assassin, the closer they can get to you before you know they're there. "They say Elektra whispers in your ear before she kills you." Just then, Elektra gets on the headset and says to Expository Receptacle Security Dude, "It's too late for your boss, Bauer. But you still have a chance." Expository Receptacle Security Dude's totally freaked by this, and he removes his earpiece, only to hear someone at the door. He shoots the shit out of the door and then goes to (dumbly) open it. There's no one in the hall. No one, that is, except Elektra. She puts the point of her Sai to the back of his neck and says, "You can't fight a ghost, Bauer." Bauer thinks he can, however, and turns to fight. For a couple of seconds, all we see is the flash of Elektra's bright red costume and a lot of punching and kicking. I can see that the phrase "and then they fight" is going to be heavily used during this recap.

By the way, nice RED OUTFIT, Elektra. I'm just guessing here, but I think something a little more sedate might do better for remaining undetected in the dark, don't you? And, yes, I know the comic book had her in red and therefore the movie is sticking to the book rather religiously, and man, it looks totally cool and shit when all you see is the kickin' red leather against the dark background, but DAMN, she sticks out like a virgin at Mardi Gras, y'all. Anyway, Elektra finishes with Bauer and turns and there's this great smooth shot of her far-too-long-hair swooping around and finally revealing her face. She looks extremely pissed off. Get used to that look; she wears it through most of the film.

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Comments

Elektra

Did you get all that, though? There's a child who can tip the balance between good and evil and a woman warrior who's the final weapon in an ancient war. A child. A woman warrior. Good. Evil. The Hand. Terence Stamp, drunk off his ass and calling his agent all, "Bernie? GET ME OFF THIS MOVIE. Or, at least, get me more bourbon."

We begin the movie (for real this time) with an exterior shot of a snowbound mansion. There are several guards scattered about the property, and they appear to be top-level security guys. Inside a large well-appointed room with a fireplace, Jason Isaacs is telling the security guy who's manning some monitors that it won't do any good because he won't be able to stop her. Who "her" is we don't know, but since the movie's called Elektra and not Bob the Wonder Assassin, we can probably guess who "her" is. As Jason tries to explain to Expository Receptacle Security Dude just who "her" is, we get a shot of a guard flinging over the roof outside and as Jason says, "Her name…is Elektra," a black-clad figure comes up to the edge of the roof and we see some flashes of red silk. That's her all right.

Expository Receptacle Security Dude is all, chuckle chuckle, that woman died years ago, sir; she's an urban legend. "Really?" says Jason. "Well, then, somebody must have brought her back from the dead." No, ya think? Jason rambles something about how, when you've done the things he's done, you need lots of security; the best money can buy. Unfortunately, Elektra showed up and killed 14 of his old guards in half an hour and Jason barely got away. She came for him in Monte Carlo, where he was being protected by the Hand itself. She cut 'em down like wheat in about 15 minutes. Jason got away again, but he didn't know why. Now he does. Now he understands her. "She wanted me to feel this," he says. "What it's like to have nowhere to go, nowhere to turn." Elektra and her black-and-red silk getup are getting closer.

Expository Receptacle Security Dude hears some beeping and looks at his monitors and sees that every single one of his guards has disappeared from the screens. "How's your perimeter now?" snarks Jason, sounding far too pleased for a soon-to-be dead man. One by one, all the monitors go out, and suddenly there's the sound of machine-gun fire from outside the room. Jason says that the better the assassin, the closer they can get to you before you know they're there. "They say Elektra whispers in your ear before she kills you." Just then, Elektra gets on the headset and says to Expository Receptacle Security Dude, "It's too late for your boss, Bauer. But you still have a chance." Expository Receptacle Security Dude's totally freaked by this, and he removes his earpiece, only to hear someone at the door. He shoots the shit out of the door and then goes to (dumbly) open it. There's no one in the hall. No one, that is, except Elektra. She puts the point of her Sai to the back of his neck and says, "You can't fight a ghost, Bauer." Bauer thinks he can, however, and turns to fight. For a couple of seconds, all we see is the flash of Elektra's bright red costume and a lot of punching and kicking. I can see that the phrase "and then they fight" is going to be heavily used during this recap.

By the way, nice RED OUTFIT, Elektra. I'm just guessing here, but I think something a little more sedate might do better for remaining undetected in the dark, don't you? And, yes, I know the comic book had her in red and therefore the movie is sticking to the book rather religiously, and man, it looks totally cool and shit when all you see is the kickin' red leather against the dark background, but DAMN, she sticks out like a virgin at Mardi Gras, y'all. Anyway, Elektra finishes with Bauer and turns and there's this great smooth shot of her far-too-long-hair swooping around and finally revealing her face. She looks extremely pissed off. Get used to that look; she wears it through most of the film.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25Next

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Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

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