MONDO EXTRAS

9:44: My wife gets the night's other best line: "They keep mentioning Katie Holmes like we care."

9:49 - This Jersey routine would have been funnier two years ago... like when Jersey Shore was actually fresh and stuff.

9:50 - "Please welcome Bryan Cranston and Katie Holmes." Neither of whom is from Jersey. Fail, Emmys, fail.

9:52 - An I Love Lucy reference now? Ugh, please stop, announcer guy. But props to Julianna. Another deserved win in a category that's full of 'em so far.

9:54 - Hey, it's the new Charlie's Angels! But why is Drew passing the torch? She was only an Angel for two movies. Did Jaclyn and Kate just refuse to show up?

9:55 - Woah! Is this actually happening? Two awards for FNL? Drama writing and Lead Actor at long last? My mind is officially blown.

9:56 - Could this mean Mad Men is going home empty handed for the first time ever? That would be a real shame, but hard to feel bad about FNL finally being recognized.

9:57 - Reasons we love Kyle Chandler #1201: Because he actually says stuff like "Gosh almighty" in real life.

9:58 - I do hope the Emmys remember to honor Jon Hamm next year, even with his nemesis Bryan Cranston likely back in the mix. Don Draper is too iconic a role not to net him some kind of recognition.

10:00 - Paying honor to perennial Emmy loser Stephen Colbert by eating a scoop of B&J's "Americone Dream." Jon Stewart may have a gazillion Emmys in his closet, but does he have his own ice cream flavor? I THINK NOT! Check and mate, sir.

10:04 - And now we enter the Movies and Miniseries portion of the evening, which tonight would be better labeled The Mildred Pierce and Downton Abbey Awards. For almost everyone at home, it's better known as Bathroom Break.

10:05 - "A lot of people are very curious why I'm a lesbian. Ladies and gentlemen, the cast of Entourage." Perfect kiss-off to a show that's we've already forgotten about.

10:07 - Downton Abbey = Crack for Anglophiles and public television addicts. When is Season 2 starting up again?

10:09 - "Maggie Smith was really good, but she was still playing Maggie Smith," my wife astutely points out. Very true. But I'd be scared not to give her that Emmy. I think it's been confirmed that her withering glare literally makes people wither up.