Fall Pilot Season 2011: Pan Am
Welcome to Pan Am, where the planes ride high but the hemlines ride higher! Look, it's the pilot and this show is pretty good; together we've got lines of time to think of a clever tagline, okay?
We kick things off with "Around the World" playing as we zoom in on a classic '60s airport scene: a pilot tipping his hat to a child, men in trench coats, women dressed like Jackie O, boxy luggage riding on conveyor belts, the works. A man delivers a stack of Life magazines with a lovely young stewardess on the cover.
"Jet Clipper service is unique," reads a stewardess (who is going to need 10 times more hairspray if she really wants to look accurate to the era), "upon boarding an around-the-world flight, passengers are greeted by the international beauty and grace, otherwise known as the Pan Am stewardess. All college educated..." [our attention is briefly turned to a scale, where those international beauties are getting weighed] "girls can fly until they're married or turn 32."
"Hands," barks a matronly woman (Veanne Cox!) to the girl (Margot Robbie) who just weighed in. She compliments (not very sincerely, I might add) the young lady her cover of Life, and starts yelling at her for not having a perfect uniform and for totally being the Maureen from The Playboy Club of this show. She slaps the girl's butt, and when the girl asks if that was necessary, the woman criticizes the young stewardess for not having a girdle on, as at junk in the trunk will not fit the regulated Pan Am overhead bin. Just before she gets another spanking, a lovely French stewardess (Karine Vanasse, who could pass as Ellie Kemper's long lost twin sister) gets her the hell out of there.
Frenchie congratulates Blondie for her magazine cover, but all Blondie can think about is the flight. When she eventually realizes they're talking about that little old Life cover and being the effing face of Pan Am, Blondie gets really self-conscious. Things don't get any easier when a swarm of stewardesses crowd around Blondie and are like, "Girl, you are gonna get yourself a husband! Does Betty Draper know about this? You're famous now!"
Just then, some biddy (Kelli Garner) is like, "Um, trust me, she's not...." [death stares from other girls] "...looking for a husband, that is." Turns out her name is Kate and she is sisters with Blondie, who is so embarrassed by all of this attention. Kate's obviously bitter, especially since her sis didn't phone her with the good news last night (can you imagine why not?) and Kate is all, "Screw you, someone get me some FREAKING gum!" Also, an important man on a microphone is looking for their Purser (a job slightly higher than stewardess), Bridget Pierce.