Fall Pilot Season 2011: Pan Am

by Rachel Stein September 26, 2011
Fall Pilot Season 2011: Pan Am

Clipper is clear for takeoff and I feel like I'm on "The Right Stuff Mach 1 Adventure" ride at Six Flags Great Adventure. Dr. Evil is looking around evilly and everyone is excited. Laura is nervous and new and Maggie is nice to her. I don't know if I want more rivalry between the stewardess, but I'm sure I'll get it soon enough. The plane takes off and title card! Ugh, I hate flying.

Up in the sky, the captain makes his announcement and it's cute. All of the men eye the stewardess' butts and the assholes in first class get all of the good stuff, as usual. Collette awesomely takes a swig of champagne while she tries to hide how bitter she is about John's secret family. In the cockpit, Dean is trying to locate Bridget. Ted, meanwhile, is going to take a whiz and sexually harasses Maggie. On their end of the plane, Kate is preparing to do her espionage work and Laura is asked by some newlyweds for her to take their picture. The passenger sitting next to them is like, "Hey, this is you! Sign my red knit dress!" And then Laura has an extremely vivid memory...

Flashback: Laura's nervously in a wedding gown and her mom won't shut up, while sister Kate is getting ready. Laura asks her sis for some water, and while she's gone, goes through all of her cool international Pan Am stuff. Oh, to be a stewardess. Laura wants out of this poor provincial life and cries on the floor while her mom and sister walk through the house and heatedly talk about Kate's career. Kate helps her sister through her emotions and when Laura is like, "I want out!" and Kate is like, "Okay, babe, time to start making your own decisions." They agree to ditch this dump of a wedding, then hop in Kate's convertible and head off to the sounds of "I Hear You Knocking!" It's like a wacky '80s movie and I am eating up every second of it.

Back on the plane, John apologizes to Collette for lying to her and she is like, "Up yours, dude, I'm nobody's mistress." As he's apologizing, his son cock-blocks him and she leads the little tyke to the cockpit to meet the pilot.

FLASHBACK No.2: Collette and John lock eyes in an Italian hotel lobby and check into their adjoining rooms. Julie London's "Love Must Be Catchin' On" plays as Collette unlocks her side of the shared door and John opens his right on cue. They start going at it... Go Collette! This is almost as sexy as that time Sal almost got down with that young hotel staffer in Mad Men. Almost.

Still flashbacking at the same hotel (I presume), Dean sees the elusive Bridget with a "lost tourist in need of direction" who she obviously knows on a more intimate level. Bridget is cute and British and I love her. The two flirt and bit and Dean takes off on his motorbike.

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