MONDO EXTRAS

He starts looking at a gash on her forehead (that she is already very concerned will scar), while Ronnie opens the driver's side to administer to the male driver, who has what looks like the end of a glass bottle lodged in his chest. Jersey girl hadn't thought of "David" until now, so she starts freaking out when she sees his gory injuries. Ronnie starts barking orders, and we learn that the doctor is a dermatologist, not a trauma surgeon, so she orders that he get her a knife and something to sterilize it with. Jersey Girl starts being annoying and Ronnie grabs her nose and tells her to calm down, which works because it's on TV and not in real life, where such actions would make any real person further and completely lose it. Seriously, don't ever do those things to someone you actually want to calm down.

Dermatologist returns with a bottle of vodka and a knife, and Ronnie cuts David's chest open and crams a straw into it that happened to be lying around and he is saved and breathing easy. The dermatologist asks Ronnie where she learned to do that, and surprisingly she says, "Iraq," and not "that part where Clooney did it in Three Kings," which is what I would say.

Ronnie quickly leads the paramedics and David's stretcher through an ER, rapid firing medical jargon like a mofo. This is to make us think she is a doctor, because I guess the message of this show is that field combat medicine is good enough medical school, and after that you should just be considered a doctor even if you are a nurse and not a real, certified doctor? I have no idea! But that's what it seems like? Because a snivelly little real doctor walks up to her asking what authority she had to order all the procedures she just ordered, being that she is not an MD, and she looks at him like, "What? Only actual doctors get to diagnose people and decide what surgeries they need?" And he's like, "Actually, yeah, I'll handle this because this is a hospital and not somebody's van, and I am a doctor and you are a nurse, so please stop trying to get the hospital sued." He... kind of has a point, but you're supposed to be on her side anyway, because this show is for stupid people. Oh, and Jersey Girl overhears and insults the hell out of Ronnie, calling her "just some stupid nurse," which is just awful, and threatens to sue her if David has a scar on the chest she Clooney'd.