We're at home with Nick, who is so obsessed with himself that he's standing topless in front of a mirror listening to a newscast about him. He won the case and all eyes are on him gunning for the State Attorney's office. We see pictures of Carol-Lynne and a glass of whiskey. #whiteguyproblems
At the club, the girls are getting ready and wearing period-piece undergarments, talking about going to the Mansion tonight. Apparently it's as fun as it is now, if you're into the whole grotto scene. The girls make fun of Alice for being married, but is she really married? DUN DUN DUN. Meanwhile, Billy is talking to some mysterious creature named "Hef" while Carol-Lynne stands and waves at the door. In other Hef news, the show fills the proviso in his contract where it states The Playboy Club must talk about how progressive and inclusive he was. Carol-Lynne enters and it looks like she actually did sleep her way to the top. She's the newly appointed Bunny Mommy Dearest. She scares the crap out of them and makes their costumes way sexier. And she basically tells Maureen to crawl into a bunny hole and die.
In the main room, Maureen and Nick slip aside to talk about their dirty little secret that Carol-Lynne only thinks she knows, and Maureen better keep her cool or she will ruin everything.
Ike and Tina are on the stage, singing, "Shake a Tail Feather" an eerily appropriate song to Nick's situation. This looks fun and the bunnies dance, which I sincerely hope happens in every episode. I'm kind of confused as to if the bunnies are supposed to do this or if they're breaking the rules? It's still not clear. Either way, it's kitschy and fun until the scary wise guys look on from above and put crosshairs on Maureen.
At the end of the night, Nick apologizes to Carol-Lynne with earrings, and she basically tells him to fuck off with her smize. Bunnies can't date keyholders anymore, but even if she wanted to date Nick, she's not a bunny anymore. She also makes him feel like shit for being so egotistical, saying all the things I wish Betty had said to Don, and vice versa. Carol-Lynne mentions the four words Nick never said, and while he thinks they're "Will you marry me?" she means "I want you back," and then she goes on to talk about how he'll never stick with one woman because of his ego. It's over-rehearsed and if anyone said it now I'd be really embarrassed for them. But it does the trick.
Carol-Lynne pulls Maureen into the back for more power-tripping. She condescends pretty hard and makes Maureen feel like beyond shit, assuming the role of frigid bitch/lady in charge, depending on who you're rooting for. She talks about bunny training for newcomers, since newbies clearly don't know the basic rules of not murdering mob bosses in their first week. It's a good idea, and everything, but it's clearly meant as a jab. Maureen sees right through the bullshit, Carol-Lynne asks Phil Dunphy's verison of WTF (Why The Face?) and they quickly have a cool moment of actual candor instead of cattiness. Carol-Lynne tells her how shitty Nick is, maybe as a warm warning, but maybe because she's still playing mind games.