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Fatal Contact: Bird Flu in America

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Fatal Contact: Bird Flu in America

Week 2, with 158 deaths (and counting -- the number goes up as it stays on the screen! Exciting!) Joely is back in the U.S., visiting the Department of Health and Human Services, where all of the state governors have arrived for an emergency briefing. Joely is wearing some sort of thirty-seven-button belted cardigan, and a black headband. Did they steal her wardrobe from Patricia Richardson on Home Improvement? That's the last time I think I've seen a headband on national television. Joely meets Colin Reed, the Secretary of HHS. He introduces her to the crowd, and she explains that they've been tracking the H5N1 virus since 1996, and that most of the people affected so far have been those who handle poultry on a daily basis. But two weeks ago, the virus mutated, and is now being passed from human to human. Everyone starts murmuring, like, have they not heard about this already? Why did they think they were there, in an emergency session? Two governors start arguing over whether this is really a pandemic. One lady says, "The Spanish Flu killed fifty million people. That's not what you're suggesting, right?" Joely gets her drama on and replies, "No. [Long pause.] Actually, we believe that it could be much worse." That was the best way to answer that question? For crying out loud. Joely explains why this is going to suck, a lot, and for a long time, and fans the flames by saying that total fatalities worldwide could be 150 to 350 million. That's quite a range. One guy wants to close the borders, today. ["Because state governors totally get to make that call." -- Wing Chun] Joely says that it's too late for that, and that it will "rip apart the fabric of society," especially considering that they don't have a vaccine. Max from Gilmore Girls -- who clearly skipped science class, as well as every newspaper story over the past year or so -- asks why we don't have a vaccine yet, and Joely has to explain that vaccines are formulated for unique strains of influenza as they come into existence. The Secretary promises that pharmaceutical companies are working on it. The Secretary says that they think they have a few weeks before the virus hits the U.S., and Joely whispers, "That's if we're lucky." So they clearly don't know about Airplane Dad yet. You'd think they would be looking at passenger manifests and whatnot to figure out who had visited China recently and then traveled elsewhere.

Airplane Dad is walking through a Home Depot or something, on business. He's all sweaty and pale and extremely annoyed by a little girl who keeps hitting her shopping cart with a foam noodle. And then his nose starts bleeding uncontrollably, like, does he have the flu or the Ebola virus? Because I don't think the flu causes you to bleed out. A manager calls 911.

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Mondo Extra
Fatal Contact: Bird Flu in America

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Fatal Contact: Bird Flu in America

Week 2, with 158 deaths (and counting -- the number goes up as it stays on the screen! Exciting!) Joely is back in the U.S., visiting the Department of Health and Human Services, where all of the state governors have arrived for an emergency briefing. Joely is wearing some sort of thirty-seven-button belted cardigan, and a black headband. Did they steal her wardrobe from Patricia Richardson on Home Improvement? That's the last time I think I've seen a headband on national television. Joely meets Colin Reed, the Secretary of HHS. He introduces her to the crowd, and she explains that they've been tracking the H5N1 virus since 1996, and that most of the people affected so far have been those who handle poultry on a daily basis. But two weeks ago, the virus mutated, and is now being passed from human to human. Everyone starts murmuring, like, have they not heard about this already? Why did they think they were there, in an emergency session? Two governors start arguing over whether this is really a pandemic. One lady says, "The Spanish Flu killed fifty million people. That's not what you're suggesting, right?" Joely gets her drama on and replies, "No. [Long pause.] Actually, we believe that it could be much worse." That was the best way to answer that question? For crying out loud. Joely explains why this is going to suck, a lot, and for a long time, and fans the flames by saying that total fatalities worldwide could be 150 to 350 million. That's quite a range. One guy wants to close the borders, today. ["Because state governors totally get to make that call." -- Wing Chun] Joely says that it's too late for that, and that it will "rip apart the fabric of society," especially considering that they don't have a vaccine. Max from Gilmore Girls -- who clearly skipped science class, as well as every newspaper story over the past year or so -- asks why we don't have a vaccine yet, and Joely has to explain that vaccines are formulated for unique strains of influenza as they come into existence. The Secretary promises that pharmaceutical companies are working on it. The Secretary says that they think they have a few weeks before the virus hits the U.S., and Joely whispers, "That's if we're lucky." So they clearly don't know about Airplane Dad yet. You'd think they would be looking at passenger manifests and whatnot to figure out who had visited China recently and then traveled elsewhere.

Airplane Dad is walking through a Home Depot or something, on business. He's all sweaty and pale and extremely annoyed by a little girl who keeps hitting her shopping cart with a foam noodle. And then his nose starts bleeding uncontrollably, like, does he have the flu or the Ebola virus? Because I don't think the flu causes you to bleed out. A manager calls 911.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14Next

Mondo Extra

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