MONDO EXTRAS

Fathers Suck

by LTG July 5, 2005
Fathers And Sons

The front door opens, and Wigford Jr., now significantly older, stumbles out in his Halloween costume. He's dressed as a devil, and he's only able to walk because his mother is holding him up by his hands. He also has a really unfortunate diaper cameltoe thing going on under his costume. An old man (Grandpa Wigford, perhaps?) is walking with Mrs. Wigford and the bambino, while Wigford takes pictures. He gets a charming shot of mother and child, but then wants another one with his father. And then, after a bunch of photos, Wigford pulls out his Super-8 movie camera, determined to get Junior's first steps on film. While "quirky" music plays, Junior eventually does take his first steps. As Wigford backs up to get the shot, he trips and falls backwards. We get a Super-8 POV as Junior calmly strolls by the camera on the ground.

Exterior of the Wigford house at night. There's still a light on in the bedroom of Mr. and Mrs. Wigford. Wigford suddenly announces that Junior hasn't had an erection yet. First, ewwwww. Second, is he staring at his son's penis twenty-four hours a day? Third, ewwwww. Wigford is worried that something's wrong with Junior. Mrs. Wigford agrees with me that something is wrong with Wigford.

Junior is three or four, and he's riding his tricycle on the porch as Wigford installs a white picket fence across the front yard. Junior walks over to him and starts one of those "adorable" childish conversations about what day it is, and what day tomorrow will be. When his father tells him that tomorrow will be Tuesday, Junior accuses him of lying, since yesterday he told him that tomorrow would be Monday. The kid makes a little fist and shakes it at Wigford. I'm a big asshole, and even I thought that was pretty cute.

Mrs. Wigford walks out on the porch and hangs another set of wind chimes next to the set she hung in the opening scene. Poor Mrs. Wigford, trying to fill the hole in her heart with wind chimes. I think there are groups for people like that. Mrs. Wigford walks into the yard and does some gardening stuff. As she does, we hear Wigford and Junior talking in the house. Junior has a secret to tell Wigford, but he extracts a promise that Wigford won't tell Mrs. Wigford. After Wigford gives a pinky swear, Junior solemnly tells him, "We're all gonna die....You're going to get all wrinkly and be a skeleton in the ground. Mom, too." Wigford tells him that such things aren't to be discussed. Junior accuses Wigford of being scared to talk about skeletons. Wigford denies being scared (in exactly the way that tells us that he is scared), and then tells Junior to brush his teeth.

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Fathers Suck

by LTG July 5, 2005
Fathers And Sons

The front door opens, and Wigford Jr., now significantly older, stumbles out in his Halloween costume. He's dressed as a devil, and he's only able to walk because his mother is holding him up by his hands. He also has a really unfortunate diaper cameltoe thing going on under his costume. An old man (Grandpa Wigford, perhaps?) is walking with Mrs. Wigford and the bambino, while Wigford takes pictures. He gets a charming shot of mother and child, but then wants another one with his father. And then, after a bunch of photos, Wigford pulls out his Super-8 movie camera, determined to get Junior's first steps on film. While "quirky" music plays, Junior eventually does take his first steps. As Wigford backs up to get the shot, he trips and falls backwards. We get a Super-8 POV as Junior calmly strolls by the camera on the ground.

Exterior of the Wigford house at night. There's still a light on in the bedroom of Mr. and Mrs. Wigford. Wigford suddenly announces that Junior hasn't had an erection yet. First, ewwwww. Second, is he staring at his son's penis twenty-four hours a day? Third, ewwwww. Wigford is worried that something's wrong with Junior. Mrs. Wigford agrees with me that something is wrong with Wigford.

Junior is three or four, and he's riding his tricycle on the porch as Wigford installs a white picket fence across the front yard. Junior walks over to him and starts one of those "adorable" childish conversations about what day it is, and what day tomorrow will be. When his father tells him that tomorrow will be Tuesday, Junior accuses him of lying, since yesterday he told him that tomorrow would be Monday. The kid makes a little fist and shakes it at Wigford. I'm a big asshole, and even I thought that was pretty cute.

Mrs. Wigford walks out on the porch and hangs another set of wind chimes next to the set she hung in the opening scene. Poor Mrs. Wigford, trying to fill the hole in her heart with wind chimes. I think there are groups for people like that. Mrs. Wigford walks into the yard and does some gardening stuff. As she does, we hear Wigford and Junior talking in the house. Junior has a secret to tell Wigford, but he extracts a promise that Wigford won't tell Mrs. Wigford. After Wigford gives a pinky swear, Junior solemnly tells him, "We're all gonna die....You're going to get all wrinkly and be a skeleton in the ground. Mom, too." Wigford tells him that such things aren't to be discussed. Junior accuses Wigford of being scared to talk about skeletons. Wigford denies being scared (in exactly the way that tells us that he is scared), and then tells Junior to brush his teeth.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18Next

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