MONDO EXTRAS

8:52: And Madonna wins for a movie practically no one (including us) has seen yet. So we honestly can't say whether or not they're wrong (but we can sure as hell guess).

8:53: She seems to have dropped her faux English accent from a few years back. Or maybe the obvious Botox work (or, as has been diagnosed here, Bell's Palsy -- we're not doctors, but we do watch House) in her face just makes it hard to enunciate.

8:54: Wow, they're playing off Madonna? They really are running behind.

8:59 On to Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television. If Hugh Bonneville wins for Downton, you can switch over in a minute to PBS to watch him in the second episode of Season 2.

9:00: Nope, Idris Elba wins instead. As my wife says, "I haven't seen the show, but he's very good looking." No argument here on either count.

9:03: "Hello, I'm Seth Rogen and I'm currently trying to conceal a massive erection." We would have agreed with that a few years ago re: Beckinsale, but these days she's morphing too closely into late-period Nicole Kidman to get a rise out of us.

9:04: So we're all agreed that Michelle Williams is a lock for Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture -- Comedy Or Musical, right?

9:04: Good job everyone. That was a gimmie. Charlize wuz robbed! (Though, of course, we liked Michelle, too, even though that film is neither a comedy nor a musical.)

9:08: Coming back from commercial and straight into Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television. Peter Dinklage, yes?

9:09: Yes! And he looks so thrilled to be there. More gold for Casterly Rock!

9:10: Don't you play Tyrion off. He will cut you.

9:11: Ricky: "You're so much better than last year's audience!" No, they're just humoring you so you get off the stage faster.

9:12: "The Cloonmeister General." We will henceforth use that moniker to describe Clooney for the duration of his career.