MONDO EXTRAS

Growing Pains: Return of the Seavers

Cut to an office, where a cell phone is ringing the Growing Pains theme song. I can't decide if that's the lamest thing I've ever seen, or if I must have it for my phone immediately. Possibly both. Mike "Kirk Cameron" Seaver answers the phone and explains that he just got the fax. A dog barks, and Mike's eleventy million multi-culti kids run into the house. His oldest daughter starts complimenting Mike on how cool he is, and then tries to use the goodwill to get the keys to his car. Kate, Mike's wife, tells her daughter that Mike invented that flattery game (although I would argue it was Eddie Haskell), so it won't work. Mike compliments her efforts, and Michelle (the daughter) says she's been "punk'd by [her] own dad." Oh, the dialogue. It leaps off the page. ["Also, I'll bet Kirk Cameron's actual kids aren't allowed to watch Punk'd, or anything else on MTV." -- Wing Chun] One of the kids tells Kate that she needs brownies for a bake sale that afternoon. Instead of telling the kid that she had better get cooking, then, Kate starts baking. The kids yell something about their favorite kind of ice cream, and it's revealed that Mike doesn't know what his kids like, because he's a horrible father.

Mike starts flattering Kate, so she asks him what's going on. Mike goes into a daydream, remembering how he found out that he's getting transferred to Tokyo. Mike looks panicked and tells Kate that there's nothing going on. Kate laughs that he's hiding something. Mike remembers that he told his boss he can't go to Tokyo for a year, no matter how much of a raise they offer. The boss wrote down an amount, and also promised Mike a sports car. The boss then advised Mike to send Kate to a spa. Didn't I see this on King of Queens? Mike doesn't think Kate would like a spa. Cut to present day, where Kate says that she'd love a spa. Mike reminds Kate that she works really hard taking care of the kids and the house, and that she deserves a break. Didn't she already says that she'd like to go? Why is he trying to convince her? Mike encourages her to go for a few days, and Kate asks who'll take care of the kids. Um, their father? Maybe if Mike can't handle parenting, they shouldn't have adopted all those children from other lands. Mike remembers that his boss advised him to hire professional childcare, so he tells Kate that he'll do it. Kate reminds Mike that he has to work. Mike says he can work and take care of the kids, just like his parents did. Kate asks if Mike is serious. Mike tells Kate to leave today. She gives him a huge hug and asks again if he's sure.

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Growing Pains: Return of the Seavers

Cut to an office, where a cell phone is ringing the Growing Pains theme song. I can't decide if that's the lamest thing I've ever seen, or if I must have it for my phone immediately. Possibly both. Mike "Kirk Cameron" Seaver answers the phone and explains that he just got the fax. A dog barks, and Mike's eleventy million multi-culti kids run into the house. His oldest daughter starts complimenting Mike on how cool he is, and then tries to use the goodwill to get the keys to his car. Kate, Mike's wife, tells her daughter that Mike invented that flattery game (although I would argue it was Eddie Haskell), so it won't work. Mike compliments her efforts, and Michelle (the daughter) says she's been "punk'd by [her] own dad." Oh, the dialogue. It leaps off the page. ["Also, I'll bet Kirk Cameron's actual kids aren't allowed to watch Punk'd, or anything else on MTV." -- Wing Chun] One of the kids tells Kate that she needs brownies for a bake sale that afternoon. Instead of telling the kid that she had better get cooking, then, Kate starts baking. The kids yell something about their favorite kind of ice cream, and it's revealed that Mike doesn't know what his kids like, because he's a horrible father.

Mike starts flattering Kate, so she asks him what's going on. Mike goes into a daydream, remembering how he found out that he's getting transferred to Tokyo. Mike looks panicked and tells Kate that there's nothing going on. Kate laughs that he's hiding something. Mike remembers that he told his boss he can't go to Tokyo for a year, no matter how much of a raise they offer. The boss wrote down an amount, and also promised Mike a sports car. The boss then advised Mike to send Kate to a spa. Didn't I see this on King of Queens? Mike doesn't think Kate would like a spa. Cut to present day, where Kate says that she'd love a spa. Mike reminds Kate that she works really hard taking care of the kids and the house, and that she deserves a break. Didn't she already says that she'd like to go? Why is he trying to convince her? Mike encourages her to go for a few days, and Kate asks who'll take care of the kids. Um, their father? Maybe if Mike can't handle parenting, they shouldn't have adopted all those children from other lands. Mike remembers that his boss advised him to hire professional childcare, so he tells Kate that he'll do it. Kate reminds Mike that he has to work. Mike says he can work and take care of the kids, just like his parents did. Kate asks if Mike is serious. Mike tells Kate to leave today. She gives him a huge hug and asks again if he's sure.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15Next

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Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

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