MONDO EXTRAS

Growing Up Brady

by admin May 31, 2000
Growing Up Brady

The show begins with Barry Williams involved in one of those taxi cab conversations that the driver is determined to continue despite every effort of the passenger to cut it off. The driver is rambling on about how he "bet[s] people still call you 'Greg.'" To which the Barry makes the stunning rejoinder, "Well, it's better than 'hey you'." They pull into the Paramount Pictures lot and the cabbie continues, "I used to watch you when I was a kid. Now my kids watch you on cable." The Barry fills in the cabbie and the viewing audience on the fact that "thirty years, we've never been off the air." Trivial Pursuit, here I come. The cabbie continues, "I've always been curious . . . you and Marcia. Did you guys ever, like, off-camera?" The Barry and I both roll our eyes. Like, what, he didn't watch the trailers? Before the Barry can answer, some efficient looking actress with a Sideshow Bob hairdo comes up and introduces herself: "Mr. Williams! Hi, I'm Pam, Mr. Schwartz's assistant." She then throws a very hostile glance to the cabbie with a bitchy little "I'll take it from here," as if the cabbie was about to walk the Barry onto the set or something. Pam and the Barry walk on the Paramount lot while she tells him that, "We're running a little bit late. Do you mind waiting?" The Barry doesn't mind. Pam then fills him in that she was a "huge, I mean huge Brady Bunch fan" and that she can quote dialogue from every episode. The Barry asks, "And your favorite episode was?" "Probably the one where Marcia gets hit on the nose with the football." And then she says, "Oh, my nose," and does a little hand-gesturing-head-toss-giggle thing which was really Smurfy, and then she giggles some more and says, "That Marcia, what a little hottie." Which is a really odd thing to say about a twelve-year-old, but I guess they had to do something to segue into the Greg-Marcia question, which, of course, she asks, "I hate to ask, [Not.] but did you two ever have a thing?" To which the Barry replies, "I'd better take the fifth on that. Listen, I'm going to stop and check out the old stage." Then the Barry's Voice starts in with, " Of all the questions I've ever been asked about The Brady Bunch, that one outnumbers all the others by a wide margin. So you want to know all the gory little details, huh? Well, all right, sit back and I'll tell you what it was like Growing Up Brady." He then opens up the stage door to a serious flashback.

The future Greg is standing on a set crowded with blondes and turns to his mom and says, "Maybe we should just go." His mom is all, "What? After I dragged my ass out of bed at this hour, put on a stage mom sweater, and drove you here through LA rush-hour traffic? And now you want to leave? Hell no." Okay, that's what my mom would have said. The Barry's mom says, "Oh, we've come this far -- don't worry sweetheart, you'll do great." The Voice starts again: "For me it all began when my agent sent me to a casting call for a new network show called The Brady Bunch." Future Greg walks in and meets Sherwood Schwartz, who is sporting some very seventies eyeglasses. "Hi Barry, I'm Sherwood Schwartz. So, how are you doing?" "Fine, I just wanted to say I'm a huge fan of all your work. I love Gilligan's Island. I watch that show all the time." Like Sherwood hasn't been hearing THAT all day. Sherwood is more gracious than I would be about such an obvious suck-up line: "Thank you very much. What do you know about this show?" "Well, I know it's called The Brady Bunch, and that I was born to play Greg." Sherwood shoots him a raised eyebrow.

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Growing Up Brady

by admin May 31, 2000
Growing Up Brady The show begins with Barry Williams involved in one of those taxi cab conversations that the driver is determined to continue despite every effort of the passenger to cut it off. The driver is rambling on about how he "bet[s] people still call you 'Greg.'" To which the Barry makes the stunning rejoinder, "Well, it's better than 'hey you'." They pull into the Paramount Pictures lot and the cabbie continues, "I used to watch you when I was a kid. Now my kids watch you on cable." The Barry fills in the cabbie and the viewing audience on the fact that "thirty years, we've never been off the air." Trivial Pursuit, here I come. The cabbie continues, "I've always been curious . . . you and Marcia. Did you guys ever, like, off-camera?" The Barry and I both roll our eyes. Like, what, he didn't watch the trailers? Before the Barry can answer, some efficient looking actress with a Sideshow Bob hairdo comes up and introduces herself: "Mr. Williams! Hi, I'm Pam, Mr. Schwartz's assistant." She then throws a very hostile glance to the cabbie with a bitchy little "I'll take it from here," as if the cabbie was about to walk the Barry onto the set or something. Pam and the Barry walk on the Paramount lot while she tells him that, "We're running a little bit late. Do you mind waiting?" The Barry doesn't mind. Pam then fills him in that she was a "huge, I mean huge Brady Bunch fan" and that she can quote dialogue from every episode. The Barry asks, "And your favorite episode was?" "Probably the one where Marcia gets hit on the nose with the football." And then she says, "Oh, my nose," and does a little hand-gesturing-head-toss-giggle thing which was really Smurfy, and then she giggles some more and says, "That Marcia, what a little hottie." Which is a really odd thing to say about a twelve-year-old, but I guess they had to do something to segue into the Greg-Marcia question, which, of course, she asks, "I hate to ask, [Not.] but did you two ever have a thing?" To which the Barry replies, "I'd better take the fifth on that. Listen, I'm going to stop and check out the old stage." Then the Barry's Voice starts in with, " Of all the questions I've ever been asked about The Brady Bunch, that one outnumbers all the others by a wide margin. So you want to know all the gory little details, huh? Well, all right, sit back and I'll tell you what it was like Growing Up Brady." He then opens up the stage door to a serious flashback. The future Greg is standing on a set crowded with blondes and turns to his mom and says, "Maybe we should just go." His mom is all, "What? After I dragged my ass out of bed at this hour, put on a stage mom sweater, and drove you here through LA rush-hour traffic? And now you want to leave? Hell no." Okay, that's what my mom would have said. The Barry's mom says, "Oh, we've come this far -- don't worry sweetheart, you'll do great." The Voice starts again: "For me it all began when my agent sent me to a casting call for a new network show called The Brady Bunch." Future Greg walks in and meets Sherwood Schwartz, who is sporting some very seventies eyeglasses. "Hi Barry, I'm Sherwood Schwartz. So, how are you doing?" "Fine, I just wanted to say I'm a huge fan of all your work. I love Gilligan's Island. I watch that show all the time." Like Sherwood hasn't been hearing THAT all day. Sherwood is more gracious than I would be about such an obvious suck-up line: "Thank you very much. What do you know about this show?" "Well, I know it's called The Brady Bunch, and that I was born to play Greg." Sherwood shoots him a raised eyebrow.

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