MONDO EXTRAS

Gimme Shelter

by Jacob Clifton May 24, 2004
Helter Skelter

Outside at the Movie Ranch, by light of search, Charles Manson goes over his to-do list, which includes "taking Blackie by the hand" and "helping him kill some piggies." It's all such a horrible mishmash of hatred and racism and general fucktardery that I don't know if it's offensive or silly or creepy or what. Charles sends Tex to Melcher's old house, where the movie stars are now, and tells him to kill everyone in the house as gruesomely as possible. So that's new. I guess it's time for Helter Skelter. Already? Charles Manson sends some girls with Tex, including Fresh Meat, who acts all pure and demure about the guns and knives and shit. "I didn't know it was that kind of apocalypse cult," her eyebrows protest. "This is just going to be a regular Creepy-Crawl, right?" her mouth protests. Oh, yeah, they reassure her: just like last time, only with six guns and blood all over the place. Charles Manson reminds them as they drive away to leave creepy "witchy" symbols around the house. I'm so sure, Charles Manson.

Sharon Tate hangs out on the phone with Roman for the whole five seconds it takes to establish character, conflict, or any interest in the victim, in these troubled times. Her interchangeable friends say just enough to establish their presence in the house. Some more pointless people -- neighbors? -- talk about what it's like to live in that neighborhood. Tex jumps the Polanski fence to open the gate, and Sadie and Kitty (or maybe Katie) chuckle evilly in the back seat. Ms. $5000 From My Husband's Friend is still on her high horse about all this. The score sets the tone for what is about to happen, as these people we haven't established in any way go about getting ready to sleep. The ex-boyfriend hits on Sharon drunkenly and kind of adorably, considering these are the tiny little moments that will make up his character. A random bad actor drives up, and Tex shoots him a couple of times for asking if there's something wrong with the gate -- and for being a bad actor. Focus on Fresh Meat as the whole screen goes negative, signifying nothing. Sadie and Kitty take joy in the killing. Fresh Meat's kind of thrown off, to tell you the truth. The three women and Tex push the car to the side, and Fresh Meat is nearly moved to tears by the copious amounts of blood dripping from the rear-view mirror.

Tex sends Linda to recon around the corner of the house for open windows. She doesn't even try to look due to the total freak-out she's having, she just comes back and says there's nothing open. Inside, she feels cheated because this is so not just like any other Creepy-Crawly. Her complete lack of any self-control or ability to hide her deep discomfort kind of pisses Tex off, and he sends her to wait by the car. You're totally in a cult, Fresh Meat. Grow a pair. One of the two cult girls, Sadie or Kitty/Katie, shoos her towards the car while Tex sneaky-snarlies into the house, and then they identically make their way to the front door, which Tex has opened. Katie comes running back to ask for Fresh Meat's knife, full of creepy joy, and tells her "listen for sounds." Twice there, once when Fresh Meat produced the knife, and then again a second later when Kitty takes it, the knife makes that knife noise. Sssrash! Fresh Meat is now at the staring-blindly part of her trauma. Then she hears "sounds" and the artsy French dude stumbles out of the house with blood all over.

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Gimme Shelter

by Jacob Clifton May 24, 2004
Helter Skelter Dennis Wilson's Hair is surprised to find Charles Manson sitting in his very mod -- everything is white and almost everything is plastic -- living room, although really, is it possible to turn it on and off like that? I would think at some point you would either be surprised by nothing Charles Manson brings to the table, at which point you can either blow him off or join his cult, or you would be surprised by everything he does, indicating a certain mental stability that generally precedes calling the damn cops. Jeremy Davies is officially creeping me out now, by the way. Giving me goosebumps -- it's that great of a likeness. The point of this visit was to ask Dennis Wilson's Hair to get Melcher on the phone, as promised. Dennis Wilson's Hair points out that it's minutely, infinitesimally possible that Charles Manson's totally freaky behavior, face, body, and voice were what turned Melcher off. Charles Manson is so not hearing that. He makes word noises and asks for some money for no reason and then throws a bullet at Dennis. He freaks me right out of my skin as he stares directly at Dennis and without a hint of laughter or glee in his voice explains that now Dennis will be able to look at that bullet any time he likes, and remember how nice it is that he is alive. Charles Manson takes his leave and Dennis Wilson's Hair, ever the thrill-seeker, yells at Charles Manson's retreating form that the entire group is afraid of him because he is terrifying and an ex-con and a pimp and totally off his nut. Which is not how I would have handled the situation, but I'm a pretty safe gambler, most of the time. The Manson Family is having a cookout. One of the men asks how they "get to the bottomless pit." I don't get that. Charles Manson answers by strumming his guitar randomly and repeating the phrase "How do we get to the bottomless pit?" about fifteen times. Everyone laughs and looks at him adoringly. He's like one of those piano bar guys as he stops playing and answers the question, although not in a language I speak. There's something to do with dune buggies, I know that. But that's all. A follow-up question: "When's Helter Skelter supposed to start?" Wait, Fresh Meat can't ask why the dogs eat before the women, but this guy can totally call Charlie's bluff about the whole deal? Charles Manson does the guy one better by answering his question with a crazy: "Well, that's what the Beatles have been trying to tell us, it's the message they want me to get out on my album." Okay then.

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