MONDO EXTRAS

Gimme Shelter

by Jacob Clifton May 24, 2004
Helter Skelter

All this awesome publicity about Charles Manson has resulted in "half a dozen kids a day" showing up at the Movie Ranch to join. Too bad your administrative and project management departments are all in jail and crazy, but that doesn't stop most Fortune 500 companies, I guess. Bugsy reads out a meaningless list of things for no reason, but we do learn that Katie was a member of the Audubon Society, so maybe it's best she joined a cult rather than trying to have a rich and active social life all on her own. The cops and DA are amazed that kids whose accomplishments include "Campfire Girl," "Homecoming Princess," and "sang in church choir" could have possibly ended up stabbing a bunch of people "with knives and forks" (Hee! They totally did, we saw it in a flashback!) 169 times. The cop guy, again, thinks it's drugs, and he's partially right. But he doesn't care about that, because he doesn't need to prove motive.

Except they do, because Manson was not present at the murders and thus will get off on the previously-mentioned fires and dune buggies charge and get reasonable doubt for his part in the murders. They discuss everything that's happened throughout the movie, including the fact that "Helter Skelter" was misspelled on the refrigerator: "We're not talking about Rhodes Scholars, here." Heh. Basically, Bugsy thinks that if they can tie Manson in to the "Helter Skelter" idea, and then connect that to the words written at the crime scene, "that's the same as finding his fingerprints." Except, I would add, one thousand times easier to appeal.

Joey explains to this very ambitious DA that Charles Manson "got all his beliefs from two places: The Bible, and the Beatles." Both of which are partially written by guys named John who seemed to be on prodigious amounts of drugs -- connection? Director-screenwriter John Gray, I'm looking right at you. So the Beatles are actually talking to Charles Manson through their songs. Interesting. Even more interesting is that the Beatles song "Revolution #9" has directed Manson to the Book of Revelations, Chapter Nine, which refers to "four angels" whose faces "were as the faces of men" and their hair "as the hair of women" -- and we're back to the Beatles again! Dude, this guy is nuts and everything, but that is nuts! The angels' "breastplates of iron" are Bible code for electric guitars? I am not making this up, because I could not make this up, because I am not a total lunatic. There's lots more of this "The Bible says Kill Whitey" stuff and it's boring and everybody knows it basically, so I'll skip to the cop asking Joey how it's possible that grown-up people or even children would buy such a patent line of crazy bullshit. Which is the ultimate question which it always comes down with cults, for most people, I guess: How the fuck did you fall for this? What's going on with you, that you didn't just adjust your headset and keep walking? How come none of this is fishy to you?

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29Next

Comments

Gimme Shelter

by Jacob Clifton May 24, 2004
Helter Skelter This is Anna's second-favorite part of the movie: As the mysterious girl I can't place thinks hard about how to get her buzzkill dad out of the picture, Sadie and some other cult girl dance by, singing the song from the shower scene about how "the illusion has just been a dream," which is dumb, so I'm sure it's a Charles Manson song. She smiles joyfully and hops up to join them, and they go skipping off down the hallway and giggle-singing. It's awesome. Dad's like, WTF? Arraignment: Charles Manson looks...I hate to say it, but...a little bit crazy when they bring him in to the courtroom. The defense moves to postpone so that they can enter a plea. Why didn't they do this some other time? I don't know anything, so maybe that's when you do it, but that hardly seems efficient, to get everybody in the whole world in the courtroom so you can say, "Can we meet back here in a couple of weeks?" The prosecution has no problem with that, because as Bugsy's friend's says, "We need all the time we can get." How come? These people are total Corn-Nuts, a one-year-old child could pick Charles Manson out of a lineup as "the crazy one" with only a little prompting, and Sadie would probably confess to stealing and eating the Lindbergh baby if she thought your jaw would drop. Bugsy's watch has stopped, and he's like, "Weird." He looks over at Manson, who glints intensely at him as if to say, "I made your watch stop with my evil mind powers." Say it with me, ya'll: I'm so sure, Charles Manson! How affected can you get? Then Charles Manson stands up and delivers some word-noises about firing his attorney because he'll defend himself for free, whereas his public defender is getting paid (albeit in beads and shiny pieces of scrap metal), and thus has a conflict of interest. Which is only true if you live in Mansonworld where money is evil, or something. "Interesting," says the judge, cracking me up. I love the lack of tolerance "the Man" shows for Manson's crazy ass, even though it only feeds his multiplex. All of the people in the "straight" world get a huge kick out of Manson's further word-noises about defending himself. The judge openly questions his competence and tells him it's a huge mistake. He says huge like "nyoodge," same as Trump. I'm totally saying it that way from now on. All the Mansons including Charlie giggle about that, how it's a nyoodge mistake for him to defend himself, like, "He's totally Jesus, dude. As in Christ. He's seen four episodes of Perry Mason and spent seventeen years in jail, locked away from the outside world, learning no trade or skill. What is a fancy law degree compared to that?" Manson makes word-noises that John Gray, Screenwriter thinks sound very litigious. I don't know when it happened, by the way, but is it weird that I've decided in the last two hours that the Spanking the Monkey kid has gotten kind of hot? Maybe it's just the hair and beard hiding whatever is not hot. He could have a third and fourth nipple or a giraffe coming out of his chin and we'd never know with all that gross hair all over.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31Next

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP