Fresh Meat is now a grandmother living under a new name in the Pacific Northwest. Good that she stayed away from environments with lots of drugs, and...CREDITS. What about Sadie? Damn.
Okay, the internet says that...well, the internet first of all says that "Sadie Atkins" is a porn star, so that's a good few pages of Google you can take off the top, please. Oh, while she was in the Family, she gave them all the clap, and was ostracized for it for a while, and she had a baby she named "Zezozecee Zadfrack." How can you doubt that I love her? Except for the serial murder thing, I think she'd make a great sitcom. Zezozecee was later adopted by a doctor, who changed his name to Paul.
Here we go, and this is most definitely the kind of shit I was looking for: In 1981, she married her prison pen pal, a Texan man named Donald Lee Laisure. Turns out Laisure (previously married: 35 times) was totally lying when he claimed to be a millionaire. When Sadie found this out three months in, she divorced him. She got married again, in 1987, to a lovely law student fifteen years younger than she, the impressively-named James W. Whitehouse. She's spent the last thirty-two years working on her prison ministry (as they all are, it seems -- it must get really loud with everyone ministering to everyone else all the time. On Oz there's only ever one, and you'd feel rude if you tried to start a prison ministry, because that's, like, their thing), thanks to Jesus (as in Christ), who paid her cell a visit some time in the late seventies. She's getting an associate degree through the mail. She was turned down for parole for the tenth time in 2000, and her next try comes up this year.
I've tried to walk a pretty fine line in this recap, which I hope you all appreciate, but the hardest part has been trying to end it. So I'll leave you with this: Don't join cults. Just don't do it. If he tells you he's Jesus, laugh in his face. If you can't find a clock or a phone or a calendar or a TV, get out of there. If they take your kids away as soon as you walk in, you take them right back and walk out again. If they take your wallet and throw it in a box or a fire, you must leave and worry about replacing those documents later -- unless you're on Forever Eden, in which case remember to bring the condom from your wallet in with you before it gets burnt up. (Also, if you're on Forever Eden, you deserve what you get anyway, so none of the above advice is for you.) If they ask you to steal, don't steal, just leave. Nobody who really wants you to be friends with them, or with God, I guess, would ever ask you to steal. If your night's plans include wiggling through the hallways of stranger's homes like creepy culty snakes, rearranging furniture, and watching people sleep, get a real hobby. Or even just an AIM screen name. If they tell you that the principles of Jesus will help you build financial freedom, leave. In fact, if anybody at any time makes you feel like you need to give them some money just for being your friend, leave. If anybody asks you for money, period, and you don't feel like giving it to them, leave. They're probably a cult. Learn from Fresh Meat's mistakes. See what happened to her? She moved to Portland. Don't join cults, people.