MONDO EXTRAS

By the time you see the words High School Musical on the screen in the late summer of 2007, it's hard to even approach this as a TV movie anymore. It's like trying to write on a clean slate about Coke, or hip-hop, or democracy, or the abstract worth of cheddar cheese (that last one being particularly apt). This soundtrack was the best-selling album of 2006. More people bought this in 2006 than bought the Carrie Underwood record or the Justin Timberlake record. Monique Coleman got on Dancing With The Stars entirely on the strength of being arguably the sixth lead and the one person who practically does not dance at all in the entire thing. That's not to even mention the marketing clinic that was Disney's management of the wave of irrational exuberance once it started to build, with the karaoke sing-alongs and dance-alongs and Zac Efron rubber masks and slumber-party-in-a-box kits and whatever the hell else they could think of between rides on the Matterhorn. This movie, it is this thing. And it has claws and fangs and mouse ears, and it will cut you. While singing.

But here we are. "New Years Eve," says an on-screen caption, demonstrating that this movie was originally made on such a low budget that they couldn't even afford apostrophes. We are staring at the snowy landscape of a resort at night. We move inside a presumably New-Year's-Eve-related party, where the music is surprisingly somber for such a cheery event. Who isn't kissing Baby New Year, dudes? A couple of depressed nerds shake hands as they contemplate spending yet another calendar year looking at the world from inside other people's lockers. One of the nerds is wearing a Viking helmet of sorts, so, you know, if he's looking to fit in, maybe start with not that. Elsewhere, a nice-looking mom approaches her daughter Gabi, who is reading on the couch and wearing a purple track suit and pink fur-lined Uggs (that will date the movie just slightly at some point). Mom snatches away Gabi's reading and encourages her to embrace the debauchery of the occasion and go to the "teen party." Gabi protests, because she only likes books. Note: Gabi is industrious and smart and dedicated to what is in a sense her "work," and that's how you know she needs a man, since she's too young to be unexpectedly saddled with a dead person's child.

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By the time you see the words High School Musical on the screen in the late summer of 2007, it's hard to even approach this as a TV movie anymore. It's like trying to write on a clean slate about Coke, or hip-hop, or democracy, or the abstract worth of cheddar cheese (that last one being particularly apt). This soundtrack was the best-selling album of 2006. More people bought this in 2006 than bought the Carrie Underwood record or the Justin Timberlake record. Monique Coleman got on Dancing With The Stars entirely on the strength of being arguably the sixth lead and the one person who practically does not dance at all in the entire thing. That's not to even mention the marketing clinic that was Disney's management of the wave of irrational exuberance once it started to build, with the karaoke sing-alongs and dance-alongs and Zac Efron rubber masks and slumber-party-in-a-box kits and whatever the hell else they could think of between rides on the Matterhorn. This movie, it is this thing. And it has claws and fangs and mouse ears, and it will cut you. While singing.

But here we are. "New Years Eve," says an on-screen caption, demonstrating that this movie was originally made on such a low budget that they couldn't even afford apostrophes. We are staring at the snowy landscape of a resort at night. We move inside a presumably New-Year's-Eve-related party, where the music is surprisingly somber for such a cheery event. Who isn't kissing Baby New Year, dudes? A couple of depressed nerds shake hands as they contemplate spending yet another calendar year looking at the world from inside other people's lockers. One of the nerds is wearing a Viking helmet of sorts, so, you know, if he's looking to fit in, maybe start with not that. Elsewhere, a nice-looking mom approaches her daughter Gabi, who is reading on the couch and wearing a purple track suit and pink fur-lined Uggs (that will date the movie just slightly at some point). Mom snatches away Gabi's reading and encourages her to embrace the debauchery of the occasion and go to the "teen party." Gabi protests, because she only likes books. Note: Gabi is industrious and smart and dedicated to what is in a sense her "work," and that's how you know she needs a man, since she's too young to be unexpectedly saddled with a dead person's child.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19Next