MONDO EXTRAS

We're All In This Together. All Right

by Miss Alli August 17, 2007
High School Musical

Friend Of Troy and the other assholes track down Taylor in a classroom and want to hold a summit. Sharpay and Ryan observe this and misconstrue it, thinking that FOT wants to get Troy into the musical so his guys can conquer the last remaining part of high-school society, and that Taylor wants to get Gabi into it to raise the profile of nerds across the board. I must say, Sharpay is a brave girl to wear this fur-lined vest to school. Particularly with the crocheted newsboy cap. Sharpay, of course, vows to keep the show safe from "people who don't know the difference between a Tony Award and Tony Hawk." Wow, what a horrible joke. You couldn't give her something better than that? I cringe. Meanwhile, FOT and Taylor make a deal to "save Troy and Gabriella from themselves." For some reason, Baking Zeke is now on board with all this enforcement of stereotypes, which is pretty punishing for a guy who makes his own muffins.

The next day, FOT and Taylor meet up about whatever this plan is, and they set it all in motion, and it's kind of hard to follow, except that he's acting like the biggest asshole in the history of Disney. At 12:05, a bell rings, and Troy has clearly been called down to the locker room, where he finds the basketball herd sitting around waiting for him with a collection of memorabilia. FOT starts things off by lecturing about a great player of the past. Others jump in. Stop participating, Zeke! Pastry needs you! FOT ultimately leads a bullying session in which the rest of the team orders Troy to stay away from the callback. FOT is, like, the Spader of this piece. He even winds up using Coach Dad against Troy, telling him how he'll let his dad down if he lets his mind wander from basketball.

Elsewhere, Taylor lectures Gabi about how athletes suck, and the culture's interest in them is absurd, and she should follow "the path of the mind." Gabi looks like she's not buying, because she's thinking about following the path of Troy's luscious hair, but then she kind of starts to waver. Meanwhile, Troy is promising his friends that he'll focus on the game anyway, no matter what's going on with the show and with Gabi. Of course, FOT doesn't believe him. Troy says he thought these guys were his friends. And now, we see that Taylor has a video hookup playing Troy's defense of himself for Gabi -- a defense in which he says that the singing means nothing to him, Gabi is just some girl, and so forth. You guys, this is so mean. A tear drops from Gabi's eye. She agrees to participate in the scholastic decathlon, a decision that has never seemed so dire and life-changing. The decathlon will never be the same. Gabi peeks out the window in time to see Troy dance his way into a pep rally, having fully decided to abandon her and the show. Poor Gabi! What will she do? Oh. Of course. She will sing a sad song about how she just wants to be part of your world. Basically. She wants to go where the people are, she wants to see, wants to see them dancing! She wanders the hallways singing about her lost dreams and her great disappointment, and she winds up tangled up in a very tortured metaphor about how she knew the song they were singing together, and then the words changed, and now she's confused and something something. She should have gotten out of that one sooner. She also keeps grabbing her tummy, so I'm wondering if she's not feeling well. I'm sorry, Gabi, but he's just not that into you.

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We're All In This Together. All Right

by Miss Alli August 17, 2007
High School Musical

Friend Of Troy and the other assholes track down Taylor in a classroom and want to hold a summit. Sharpay and Ryan observe this and misconstrue it, thinking that FOT wants to get Troy into the musical so his guys can conquer the last remaining part of high-school society, and that Taylor wants to get Gabi into it to raise the profile of nerds across the board. I must say, Sharpay is a brave girl to wear this fur-lined vest to school. Particularly with the crocheted newsboy cap. Sharpay, of course, vows to keep the show safe from "people who don't know the difference between a Tony Award and Tony Hawk." Wow, what a horrible joke. You couldn't give her something better than that? I cringe. Meanwhile, FOT and Taylor make a deal to "save Troy and Gabriella from themselves." For some reason, Baking Zeke is now on board with all this enforcement of stereotypes, which is pretty punishing for a guy who makes his own muffins.

The next day, FOT and Taylor meet up about whatever this plan is, and they set it all in motion, and it's kind of hard to follow, except that he's acting like the biggest asshole in the history of Disney. At 12:05, a bell rings, and Troy has clearly been called down to the locker room, where he finds the basketball herd sitting around waiting for him with a collection of memorabilia. FOT starts things off by lecturing about a great player of the past. Others jump in. Stop participating, Zeke! Pastry needs you! FOT ultimately leads a bullying session in which the rest of the team orders Troy to stay away from the callback. FOT is, like, the Spader of this piece. He even winds up using Coach Dad against Troy, telling him how he'll let his dad down if he lets his mind wander from basketball.

Elsewhere, Taylor lectures Gabi about how athletes suck, and the culture's interest in them is absurd, and she should follow "the path of the mind." Gabi looks like she's not buying, because she's thinking about following the path of Troy's luscious hair, but then she kind of starts to waver. Meanwhile, Troy is promising his friends that he'll focus on the game anyway, no matter what's going on with the show and with Gabi. Of course, FOT doesn't believe him. Troy says he thought these guys were his friends. And now, we see that Taylor has a video hookup playing Troy's defense of himself for Gabi -- a defense in which he says that the singing means nothing to him, Gabi is just some girl, and so forth. You guys, this is so mean. A tear drops from Gabi's eye. She agrees to participate in the scholastic decathlon, a decision that has never seemed so dire and life-changing. The decathlon will never be the same. Gabi peeks out the window in time to see Troy dance his way into a pep rally, having fully decided to abandon her and the show. Poor Gabi! What will she do? Oh. Of course. She will sing a sad song about how she just wants to be part of your world. Basically. She wants to go where the people are, she wants to see, wants to see them dancing! She wanders the hallways singing about her lost dreams and her great disappointment, and she winds up tangled up in a very tortured metaphor about how she knew the song they were singing together, and then the words changed, and now she's confused and something something. She should have gotten out of that one sooner. She also keeps grabbing her tummy, so I'm wondering if she's not feeling well. I'm sorry, Gabi, but he's just not that into you.

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