MONDO EXTRAS

We're All In This Together. All Right

by Miss Alli August 17, 2007
High School Musical

Elsewhere, notorious cutie-pie Zac Efron (who is quite good in Hairspray, incidentally, and not quite the wide-eyed lightweight he will be for the next two hours) is not being encouraged to embrace debauchery. Instead, he is being endlessly put through basketball drills by his...dad? Coach? I want to say that's the coach and his dad, which I can totally relate to, since my parents taught at my school. But my parents didn't suck, and his dad does, so there's a difference. Troy's long-suffering mom is nicely dressed and standing in the door of the resort's gymnasium (whatever) telling the fellas that the family didn't "fly all this way to play more basketball." They insist they did, but Mom and her Jaclyn Smith Collection evening gown give a twirl, trying to tempt them with the festivities. Zac, known as "Troy," is told that there's a "kids' party downstairs at the Freestyle Club." Balloons! Clowns! Face-painting! Zac/Troy insists on taking "one more" shot, which he does. I'll tell you, he is so generically pretty, he looks like the prettiest seventh-grade girl in Ohio. Efron is a great example of that thing that happens with teen idols who are boys, in that they almost always are delicately feminine -- the boy so sexy he's practically a girl! This is the David Cassidy thing, and it's certainly the Shaun Cassidy thing, and it's the feathered hair in general thing, and the Clay Aiken thing. Sixth-grade girls don't like hot; they like lovely. I would also point out that Troy does not exactly have a basketball player's body here. I realize we're not going for believability, but I'd have bought him more as a soccer player. Or a swimmer. Or a jockey. The fact that there is no evidence that he possesses a single body hair isn't helping. He's a little dolphin-like for a basketball stud.

At the "teen party," people are playing foosball, so you know Troy kind of had a point in thinking this was going to be mind-bendingly lame. Like most high-school boys would, he has donned a sport jacket for the occasion. He gloomily makes his way through the party, past an anti-rhythmic pudgy girl who is "rocking" "out." The most recent individuals to "rock the house" are dismissed from the karaoke stage. A spotlight wanders across the crowd and fastens on Troy, who tries to look uncomfortable, like hey, he wasn't hired for this! He's no canary! A kid behind him in a comical top hat with a large, sequin-covered band around it, which makes him look like Alice In Wonderland's pimp, claps Troy on the shoulders, as if he has anything to say about who's cool and who's not. At the same time, another spotlight finds Gabi The No-Fun Reading Girl, and she looks up, also seeming horrified. They are dragged up to the stage while he, in particular, insists to everyone who will listen that he can't sing. Before you know it, Troy and Gabi are up there on the improvised stage, standing awkwardly at matching microphone stands. His shirt is untucked under his jacket, because that's the way the devil-may-care guys dress themselves.

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We're All In This Together. All Right

by Miss Alli August 17, 2007
High School Musical

Elsewhere, notorious cutie-pie Zac Efron (who is quite good in Hairspray, incidentally, and not quite the wide-eyed lightweight he will be for the next two hours) is not being encouraged to embrace debauchery. Instead, he is being endlessly put through basketball drills by his...dad? Coach? I want to say that's the coach and his dad, which I can totally relate to, since my parents taught at my school. But my parents didn't suck, and his dad does, so there's a difference. Troy's long-suffering mom is nicely dressed and standing in the door of the resort's gymnasium (whatever) telling the fellas that the family didn't "fly all this way to play more basketball." They insist they did, but Mom and her Jaclyn Smith Collection evening gown give a twirl, trying to tempt them with the festivities. Zac, known as "Troy," is told that there's a "kids' party downstairs at the Freestyle Club." Balloons! Clowns! Face-painting! Zac/Troy insists on taking "one more" shot, which he does. I'll tell you, he is so generically pretty, he looks like the prettiest seventh-grade girl in Ohio. Efron is a great example of that thing that happens with teen idols who are boys, in that they almost always are delicately feminine -- the boy so sexy he's practically a girl! This is the David Cassidy thing, and it's certainly the Shaun Cassidy thing, and it's the feathered hair in general thing, and the Clay Aiken thing. Sixth-grade girls don't like hot; they like lovely. I would also point out that Troy does not exactly have a basketball player's body here. I realize we're not going for believability, but I'd have bought him more as a soccer player. Or a swimmer. Or a jockey. The fact that there is no evidence that he possesses a single body hair isn't helping. He's a little dolphin-like for a basketball stud.

At the "teen party," people are playing foosball, so you know Troy kind of had a point in thinking this was going to be mind-bendingly lame. Like most high-school boys would, he has donned a sport jacket for the occasion. He gloomily makes his way through the party, past an anti-rhythmic pudgy girl who is "rocking" "out." The most recent individuals to "rock the house" are dismissed from the karaoke stage. A spotlight wanders across the crowd and fastens on Troy, who tries to look uncomfortable, like hey, he wasn't hired for this! He's no canary! A kid behind him in a comical top hat with a large, sequin-covered band around it, which makes him look like Alice In Wonderland's pimp, claps Troy on the shoulders, as if he has anything to say about who's cool and who's not. At the same time, another spotlight finds Gabi The No-Fun Reading Girl, and she looks up, also seeming horrified. They are dragged up to the stage while he, in particular, insists to everyone who will listen that he can't sing. Before you know it, Troy and Gabi are up there on the improvised stage, standing awkwardly at matching microphone stands. His shirt is untucked under his jacket, because that's the way the devil-may-care guys dress themselves.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19Next

Comments

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