MONDO EXTRAS

We're All In This Together. All Right

by Miss Alli August 17, 2007
High School Musical

"One Week Later, Albuquerque, New Mexico," the titles tell us. We are at East High School, where the kids are out front with their skateboards and their hats and their Fisher-Price Plastic Hip-Hop My First iPods. Basketball is being played, dancing is happening, and everybody just wishes the school had a couple of good singers to rub together, you know? Troy disembarks from a bus and is greeted like President Bush at a meeting of...well, his family members, I guess. Troy's African-American friend and his large hair inform Troy that this year will be awesome, because "in two weeks, we're going to the championships." Wait, the championships? That will be dramatic.

Inside, a snooty blonde looks at her GenericBerry as the world's most effeminate high-school boy toodles along beside her, smashing all the progress Rickie Vasquez ever made as he goes. She breezes by a bunch of boys, including Troy and his friends, who part to let her pass and then "oooooh" in some combination of fear and mockery. She owns this school! They chatter about how she just came back from the North Pole or something, and that she was "shopping for mirrors." These are the jokes, folks. Meanwhile, Monique Coleman and her friends are putting up posters or something, and they refer to the passing herd of boys as "zoo animals." Clique war!

A bell rings, and guess who's walking down the hallway. Gabi and her mom. AH KNOW! She just moved here from Australia! Er, from out of town. The principal is keeping them company and talking about how Gabi has "impressive transcripts." Gabi tells her mom she doesn't want to be "the school's freaky genius girl again." Well, I don't think she needs self-esteem lessons. Gabi's mom tells her to be herself, which: thanks, MOM. We next see Gabi enter her homeroom, where she and Troy collide back to back -- eeeeee! -- but they don't see each other. She careens up to the teacher, hands in some papers, and then goes to find a seat. At this point, Troy does see her, just as she squeezes past Icy Blonde and Her Effeminate Companion. Icy Blonde tries to get her needle into Troy's adolescent groove, but he barely notices, because he's staring at Gabi. The teacher, who turns out to be the drama lady, prattles on about "new activities" including the "winter musicale." Let me tell you, I have known some theater bitches in my life, people, and nobody I know ever says "musicale." And they wouldn't. They'd be like, "Hmmm...no, that's entirely too twee to be used in connection with our production of The Music Man." The teacher goes on to say that students can try out individually for supporting roles, or in pairs for leads. Not! This is not an accurate picture of high-school theater! I quit! I don't feel supported! (That was an accurate picture of high-school theater.)

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We're All In This Together. All Right

by Miss Alli August 17, 2007
High School Musical

"One Week Later, Albuquerque, New Mexico," the titles tell us. We are at East High School, where the kids are out front with their skateboards and their hats and their Fisher-Price Plastic Hip-Hop My First iPods. Basketball is being played, dancing is happening, and everybody just wishes the school had a couple of good singers to rub together, you know? Troy disembarks from a bus and is greeted like President Bush at a meeting of...well, his family members, I guess. Troy's African-American friend and his large hair inform Troy that this year will be awesome, because "in two weeks, we're going to the championships." Wait, the championships? That will be dramatic.

Inside, a snooty blonde looks at her GenericBerry as the world's most effeminate high-school boy toodles along beside her, smashing all the progress Rickie Vasquez ever made as he goes. She breezes by a bunch of boys, including Troy and his friends, who part to let her pass and then "oooooh" in some combination of fear and mockery. She owns this school! They chatter about how she just came back from the North Pole or something, and that she was "shopping for mirrors." These are the jokes, folks. Meanwhile, Monique Coleman and her friends are putting up posters or something, and they refer to the passing herd of boys as "zoo animals." Clique war!

A bell rings, and guess who's walking down the hallway. Gabi and her mom. AH KNOW! She just moved here from Australia! Er, from out of town. The principal is keeping them company and talking about how Gabi has "impressive transcripts." Gabi tells her mom she doesn't want to be "the school's freaky genius girl again." Well, I don't think she needs self-esteem lessons. Gabi's mom tells her to be herself, which: thanks, MOM. We next see Gabi enter her homeroom, where she and Troy collide back to back -- eeeeee! -- but they don't see each other. She careens up to the teacher, hands in some papers, and then goes to find a seat. At this point, Troy does see her, just as she squeezes past Icy Blonde and Her Effeminate Companion. Icy Blonde tries to get her needle into Troy's adolescent groove, but he barely notices, because he's staring at Gabi. The teacher, who turns out to be the drama lady, prattles on about "new activities" including the "winter musicale." Let me tell you, I have known some theater bitches in my life, people, and nobody I know ever says "musicale." And they wouldn't. They'd be like, "Hmmm...no, that's entirely too twee to be used in connection with our production of The Music Man." The teacher goes on to say that students can try out individually for supporting roles, or in pairs for leads. Not! This is not an accurate picture of high-school theater! I quit! I don't feel supported! (That was an accurate picture of high-school theater.)

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Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

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Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

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