MONDO EXTRAS

Crip-Crapra: Crapmen

by Pamie May 15, 2001
Hip Hopera: Carmen

Pan down to Beyoncé in a bubble bath. Nikki walks in with a phone and says that Blaze is on the phone. Blaze says that his limo is picking her and the girls up in an hour and there will be a dress for her inside. She wishes him good luck on tonight's performance and says she can't wait to see him. She hangs up and laughs. She gets out of the tub and puts on a robe. Rasheeda! That's the other girl's name! She calls the girls and says that Blaze is going to take all of them to his concert in the limo. Then, the radio falls off the wall and into the tub. Beyoncé and the girls stare at the death that almost happened. Alas, that means more minutes to recap, since Beyoncé is still alive.

Hill watches Blaze on television with his arm around Beyoncé. He picks up the phone and calls Porter's cell phone. He says that things aren't okay and he's losing it out here. Everything is falling apart with Beyoncé gone and with Blaze. Porter tells him to get out of town. Hill says that he loves Beyoncé and wants her. He can't leave. He says he's going to go down to the concert to get Beyoncé. He won't leave California without her. He watches Blaze and Beyoncé flirt on the television.

Porter calls Mos Def and spills.

Blaze's concert. Beyoncé and the girls watch from offstage. Blaze raps. The song is about "the dough," and those two words are repeated about seventeen hundred times. And "we blaze 'em, amaze 'em." Blaze and Beyoncé share a moment backstage before he goes back out. He hasn't broken a sweat. He goes back out onstage. Hill enters the backstage area, because the security is that tight for the big rap star.

Outside, Mos Def finds out that the dirty cop is in the building.

Hill harasses Beyoncé, and she yells that he needs to leave her alone. He says he wants her to come with him. He says that Mos Def is there and is going to kill him, and he can't leave without her. He says that Mos Def will hurt her to try to get to him if she doesn't go with him. He grabs her arm. As Beyoncé struggles and shouts to be let free and Hill repeats over and over "listen to me," Mos Def stands over them on the catwalk, pointing a gun. He shoots. Beyoncé is hit. Slow-motion of her realizing she's been shot. She falls forward onto Hill's shoulder. He asks her what's wrong. He feels the blood on her waist. She's been shot twice in the lower back. As the film stays in slow-motion, Hill looks around to find the shooter. He finally looks up and sees Mos Def pointing his gun at him. He shoots. Aw, the gun is out of bullets! Where do they come up with these ingenious plot points? He shoots again. Not loaded! He stares at his own gun as Hill lowers Beyoncé to the ground. Beyoncé hits the ground five times due to poor editing.

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Crip-Crapra: Crapmen

by Pamie May 15, 2001
Hip Hopera: Carmen Pan down to Beyoncé in a bubble bath. Nikki walks in with a phone and says that Blaze is on the phone. Blaze says that his limo is picking her and the girls up in an hour and there will be a dress for her inside. She wishes him good luck on tonight's performance and says she can't wait to see him. She hangs up and laughs. She gets out of the tub and puts on a robe. Rasheeda! That's the other girl's name! She calls the girls and says that Blaze is going to take all of them to his concert in the limo. Then, the radio falls off the wall and into the tub. Beyoncé and the girls stare at the death that almost happened. Alas, that means more minutes to recap, since Beyoncé is still alive. Hill watches Blaze on television with his arm around Beyoncé. He picks up the phone and calls Porter's cell phone. He says that things aren't okay and he's losing it out here. Everything is falling apart with Beyoncé gone and with Blaze. Porter tells him to get out of town. Hill says that he loves Beyoncé and wants her. He can't leave. He says he's going to go down to the concert to get Beyoncé. He won't leave California without her. He watches Blaze and Beyoncé flirt on the television. Porter calls Mos Def and spills. Blaze's concert. Beyoncé and the girls watch from offstage. Blaze raps. The song is about "the dough," and those two words are repeated about seventeen hundred times. And "we blaze 'em, amaze 'em." Blaze and Beyoncé share a moment backstage before he goes back out. He hasn't broken a sweat. He goes back out onstage. Hill enters the backstage area, because the security is that tight for the big rap star. Outside, Mos Def finds out that the dirty cop is in the building. Hill harasses Beyoncé, and she yells that he needs to leave her alone. He says he wants her to come with him. He says that Mos Def is there and is going to kill him, and he can't leave without her. He says that Mos Def will hurt her to try to get to him if she doesn't go with him. He grabs her arm. As Beyoncé struggles and shouts to be let free and Hill repeats over and over "listen to me," Mos Def stands over them on the catwalk, pointing a gun. He shoots. Beyoncé is hit. Slow-motion of her realizing she's been shot. She falls forward onto Hill's shoulder. He asks her what's wrong. He feels the blood on her waist. She's been shot twice in the lower back. As the film stays in slow-motion, Hill looks around to find the shooter. He finally looks up and sees Mos Def pointing his gun at him. He shoots. Aw, the gun is out of bullets! Where do they come up with these ingenious plot points? He shoots again. Not loaded! He stares at his own gun as Hill lowers Beyoncé to the ground. Beyoncé hits the ground five times due to poor editing.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

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