MONDO EXTRAS

Crip-Crapra: Crapmen

by Pamie May 15, 2001
Hip Hopera: Carmen

Outside Lou's Pub (according to the television screen over the door), Beyoncé is still telling Hill that she didn't start the fight, and that she shouldn't have to go to jail. She flirts and asks his name. She says she shouldn't go to jail. She asks whether he wants to go have some fun with her instead. She raps. He watches. Basically her rap is, "I'm fucking hot and guys like to look at me. So do you. Look at me. I'm hot and fun and pretty. I steal other girls' men. I love to do it because I'm pretty. You want me." Hill raps back that he loves his girl and that they're getting married and that he's not interested in Beyoncé. The gem: "I'll dance with you slowly/ to a hip-hop joint/ and only stop when I'm positive you got the point." Beyoncé says that Hill doesn't live his life to the fullest, and that he's boring and safe. Hill says that she's a scrub. The chasers are back in this scene, and there are halos around Hill and Beyoncé. It's distracting. Beyoncé rubs her lips on Hill's face as she asks him to go out with her tonight. He's not having it. He says he has plans tonight, and she does too. She's going to jail. Beyoncé acts like she just now realized she's going to jail, and freaks out. She then moves on to plan B and asks Hill to stop by her house on the way to jail so she can take off her jewelry. She says she's wearing her mother's ring and it means a lot to her; she doesn't want it to get stolen in jail. Because Hill's a shitty cop, he agrees to give her a few minutes at her house.

They enter Beyoncé's apartment, and Beyoncé immediately starts flirting. Hill tells her that she has two minutes. Beyoncé goes into her bedroom and shuts the door. Hill walks around her apartment and reads the framed inspirational quotes on her mantle: "You can do it. Keep your eyes on the stars and you'll be one. Live each day like it's your last." Hill sees some acting books on Beyoncé's table and asks if she wants to be an actress. "More than anything," she says from inside her room. She asks whether Hill always wanted to be a cop. He did. He's still snooping around her room. He tells her to hurry up as she flirts behind the door. She says she saw what he felt the first time he saw her, how he was fighting what he's fighting right now. Hill knocks the door open and finds Beyoncé in her skivvies, laid out on the bed waiting for a little sumpin-sumpin. Her hair is completely different. He tells her to get dressed, but she! Must! Sing! The gem here comes early: "You know you really really really really really want to be with me/ So why don't you stop beating around the bush and come and give it to me." She struts and porns near him. He raps that he's not interested. She croons that he is. Flirting. Strutting. Beyoncé starts the fake fire in her living room. She pretends to be tied up. He says he could get fired. She says he shouldn't have brought her to the house. When I say "says," I mean "raps," by the way. Big ol' song and dance. Hill says that Beyoncé's body is like weed, making him light-headed. And with the munchies, apparently, because they're mugging down seconds later. It's noisy. Fade to blood red.

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Crip-Crapra: Crapmen

by Pamie May 15, 2001
Hip Hopera: Carmen Outside Lou's Pub (according to the television screen over the door), Beyoncé is still telling Hill that she didn't start the fight, and that she shouldn't have to go to jail. She flirts and asks his name. She says she shouldn't go to jail. She asks whether he wants to go have some fun with her instead. She raps. He watches. Basically her rap is, "I'm fucking hot and guys like to look at me. So do you. Look at me. I'm hot and fun and pretty. I steal other girls' men. I love to do it because I'm pretty. You want me." Hill raps back that he loves his girl and that they're getting married and that he's not interested in Beyoncé. The gem: "I'll dance with you slowly/ to a hip-hop joint/ and only stop when I'm positive you got the point." Beyoncé says that Hill doesn't live his life to the fullest, and that he's boring and safe. Hill says that she's a scrub. The chasers are back in this scene, and there are halos around Hill and Beyoncé. It's distracting. Beyoncé rubs her lips on Hill's face as she asks him to go out with her tonight. He's not having it. He says he has plans tonight, and she does too. She's going to jail. Beyoncé acts like she just now realized she's going to jail, and freaks out. She then moves on to plan B and asks Hill to stop by her house on the way to jail so she can take off her jewelry. She says she's wearing her mother's ring and it means a lot to her; she doesn't want it to get stolen in jail. Because Hill's a shitty cop, he agrees to give her a few minutes at her house. They enter Beyoncé's apartment, and Beyoncé immediately starts flirting. Hill tells her that she has two minutes. Beyoncé goes into her bedroom and shuts the door. Hill walks around her apartment and reads the framed inspirational quotes on her mantle: "You can do it. Keep your eyes on the stars and you'll be one. Live each day like it's your last." Hill sees some acting books on Beyoncé's table and asks if she wants to be an actress. "More than anything," she says from inside her room. She asks whether Hill always wanted to be a cop. He did. He's still snooping around her room. He tells her to hurry up as she flirts behind the door. She says she saw what he felt the first time he saw her, how he was fighting what he's fighting right now. Hill knocks the door open and finds Beyoncé in her skivvies, laid out on the bed waiting for a little sumpin-sumpin. Her hair is completely different. He tells her to get dressed, but she! Must! Sing! The gem here comes early: "You know you really really really really really want to be with me/ So why don't you stop beating around the bush and come and give it to me." She struts and porns near him. He raps that he's not interested. She croons that he is. Flirting. Strutting. Beyoncé starts the fake fire in her living room. She pretends to be tied up. He says he could get fired. She says he shouldn't have brought her to the house. When I say "says," I mean "raps," by the way. Big ol' song and dance. Hill says that Beyoncé's body is like weed, making him light-headed. And with the munchies, apparently, because they're mugging down seconds later. It's noisy. Fade to blood red.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

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