Howie Do It Premiere

by Angel Cohn January 12, 2009
Winter Pilot Season: Howie Do It

The next gag stars Howie's son Alex. He's playing a "Master Dater." Then Howie pauses for a laugh, and says, "Who knows, he's got his own room." I smirked at this attempt at low humor, despite my better judgment, and then felt really bad about it. Anyway, Alex is on a pretend dating show that he hosts, and he's with another guy, who is wearing a Bluetooth thing in his ear. The other guy is tasked with getting a bunch of phone numbers. All these gals are paid actresses. The guy, BJ, is supposedly the mark in this situation. He's schmoozing a girl. He's got Howie's kid Alex on the Bluetooth telling him how to act around the ladies. Some extremely gay stereotype comes over and says that he saw BJ at a club and they had a wild night. Now BJ has to deliver the "lines" that Alex has for him. He makes him say things like "I'm not a Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock." If I believed this was real, I'd feel bad for this guy, except that he's wearing a blue button-down shirt with a bright green t-shirt under it and a brown jacket over it. Which would be fine, except he has on plaid shorts, and bright red converse-y sneakers. And he's got messy hair. Then he tries to pretend to be psychic to do readings. The manager comes over, and Alex disappears. BJ freaks, but not really enough, and says they are filming a reality show, then Howie (as Jerry) comes over and starts giving him trouble for filming stuff without permission, and then does the big reveal. BJ says he's going to piss in his pants. But I still don't buy it for one minute. There's something about this whole thing that doesn't ring true. Like, even though he's not one of the "actors," I'd bet money on the fact that they found him on some sort of casting call. He seems to know where the cameras are. All these people just seem too phony to be real. Crap. There's not much I hate more than a stupid prank show, but a fake stupid prank show REALLY bothers me. And there's a whole 'nother half-hour in front of me.

Back from commercial, Howie is jumping around to drummer guy's beat. Someone in the audience yells out that he needs a closer seat. Howie accommodates, with a chair on stage that is just conveniently right next to Howie on stage. Not staged AT all. The guy asks for some water, Howie brings him some, but Howie puts his fingers in it. And tells the guy that's how he has to drink it. It's apparently a set up for the next segment where Howie is posing as a waiter, who tends to put his fingers in glasses. He tries to force the three patrons to eat bundt cake. He breaks off pieces and tries to serve it to them with his hands. Pretty impressive acting for the OCD Howie. This must have been tough for him. Anyway, apparently they've been given coupons for free refreshments, but then Howie/Jerry gives them big bills and they kind of freak out. He asks one guy why he's there, and they are all there for auditions for a show of some sort. Surprise! They are already on the show. I do kind of like the one girl who has a good scream when she sees Howie's bald head up close and in person. That would probably be my reaction as well. At least these three unknown actors seem less rehearsed, or better at their intended craft than the last two marks. Is this show over yet? No? There's still more after the break? A makeover gone wrong? I just can't wait.

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