What follows is mostly a montage of various band scenes. In the Cynthia letter, John describes their fans as "arty" existentialists, and mentions a pretty blonde named Astrid who's taken a shine to Stu. They also show her friend Klaus, coifed just as The Beatles themselves will soon be coifed. "I'm counting the days until you come over," John reads, as we see him flirting with a tarty waitress. "I'm randy. I'm living like a bloody monk just waiting to see you again." Cut to John on a dirty little couch, humping the accent out of the German waitress wench. Ah, but Cynthia, it's just an experiment -- he's proving British sausage is better than bratwurst.
The club manager yanks John off the woman and drags him onstage in just his boxer shorts. Inexplicably, John is wearing a toilet seat around his neck. I'm not aware of its uses as a sexual prop, so I'm resigned to believing that John simply thought it a splendid neck accessory. Which it is, as of the Tenth of Never. John makes an embarrassingly stupid joke about what a crappy day he's had, then starts playing. The camera spends a cruel ten seconds on his dancing naked legs, which are pasty and thick as tree trunks but amazingly, far less arousing. Astrid snaps pictures and everyone claps.
Astrid decides she wants to take publicity photos of the band. She insists they change their look, and gives Stu the haircut that spawned thousands of copycats when Beatlemania hit full force. Everyone digs it, especially George. I'm not sure why the writer's included that detail. She then snaps pictures of Paul mugging with some black cowboy boots. Again, no reason for it. John makes a crude remark about the quality of Astrid's ass. During this bit, I click over to www.IDon'tCare.com.
Five more viewers fall asleep, dropping us to twenty-five.
A gent from the Top Ten Club in Hamburg courts The Beatles for a performance. They agree to do it, but get busted after the concert because George is under eighteen and lacks a work permit. He's deported back to Britain. On the phone with Cynthia, John reveals they're returning to Liverpool, which rubs him the wrong way. Cynthia offers to rub him the right way -- or she would have, if she hadn't been trying to hide from the neighbor's cat.
Stu and John josh about the ribbing he'll take from Mimi, being as he's yet to encounter fame and fortune as a musician. Stu rubs his forehead and explains that he suffers from horrible headaches. John plans to take him to see a doctor in England, but Stu refuses to go home. He's proposed to Astrid and will leave the band to live in Hamburg with her. Like the generous and selfless soul he is, John is irate that Stu is leaving the band without a bass player. Stu grins that Paul is the obvious choice. "Me and Paul will end up killin' each other," John growls. Stu assures him the band will live on, but with different faces. Just like Menudo. "Paul's right," John spits. "You are bloody awful [on bass]." Stu grins and they wish each other luck, except John doesn't mean it and he's throwing a tantrum. I think the actor just realized he looks nothing like John Lennon, and has no talent.